Female Brokeback Mountain 2 – The Fur Traders

My son sent this to me from his MSN. I don’t know where he took it from but hey, it is kinda unique so I am sharing with you all.

In case you can’t see the words, it says… Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Evan Longoria, Scarlett Johansson, Brittany Murphy, Sara Foster, Jessica Simpson.

And to accompany this poster, 5xmom, the empowering women blog is going to share this very important manual with all women. Print this and follow the step-by-step, How to train you man. Woof! Woof! (I actually copy and paste it from somewhere, replace a couple of words, so you, woof, woof, go figure out lah)

Man Obedience: The Basics

Teaching basic obedience skills to a man can be exciting as well as challenging.

The first lesson in obedience is to get your man to pay attention to the commands. You want to start by calling his name and then using a keyword like “watch” or “look” afterwards.

Try getting him to watch for at least a minute. Let him know that he is doing a good job by rewarding him. Men learn best this way.
If your man isn’t learning very quickly, you may become frustrated. Don’t take that frustration out on your man. A few things to remember before starting your obedience lessons:

1) Never cause pain to your man (this will cause him to shy away or become aggressive to you.)
2) If he begins to become distracted, change the tone of your voice (this doesn’t mean raising it)

3) Consistency can not be stressed enough (men are like children, if you’re not consistent, they will become confused as to what is expected)
Teaching your man basic obedience commands will make for a more obedient and more pleasant man to be around.

The first command to start off with would be to sit.

The second command is “down.” Men can become pretty hyper when they get excited. .” Do not pet them or act excited to see them while they are on you. Continue to tell them “down,” and even place their legs down if you have to.

Next is the command of “stay.” This command is a good one to know especially if you have a rambunctious hyper man. You can teach him stay, for example, by putting a treat or something desirable on the ground

Stand is the last command to achieve. This is where your man is allowed to get a little excited but not in a pouncing kind of way. When teaching your man to stand, pat your hands on your chest and, once again, put a little excitement in your voice, so that he knows he’s aloud, under certain circumstances. He will begin to know the difference.
Remember be consistent with the commands and don’t forget to have fun!

End of lesson.
Woof!

10 Replies to “Female Brokeback Mountain 2 – The Fur Traders”

  1. Sorry diverted a bit…how to handle a man who just fixed a ceiling light, who claimed that it was a tough job and later acted like he had just saved the world from being hit by a gigantic meteorite!

  2. Well I have a pamphlet on teaching your kitty cat obedience. And kitty cats can be very tricky too, but what I’ve learned is that cats love it when you put cream on their nose. And its remarkable all the little tricks you can teach your cat to do too, “roll over,” “beg.” But don’t please imagine that you can teach a cat not to put herself on your bed pillow, for some strange reason that habit seems to increase after teaching your kitty cat obedience.

  3. *scratch head at Sir Nose’s comments*

    foodcrazee – Heh, u dun see I always got no work to do but shopping and blogging oni meh?

    wuching – *throw dog biskits for you*

    MG – Gimme a five! I don’t know why I found it so funny. I actually stumbled on the website, copy and paste and replace all the dog to man and dogs to men. Later when I read back, I found them really funny lor. So applicable hor?

    moo_t – Sit!

    mamabeas – He need a big bone as reward!

    ahpek – Wuah…why so many typing errors? You use one hand on the keyboard, one hand on the joystick issit?

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