Kopi lesen

Kopi lesen means bribing to get a driving licence. (and that is against the law, ok?) In this age, there are still lots of young people who can’t read and understand Bahasa. These are kids from premier school on our island! They have to pay about RM900 to get through the traffic signs (undang-undang) tests. Duh!

I think when I took my driving licence way back in 1986, it costed my brother about RM200. Do you know how much it cost to get just a bike licence now? Guess?

Last time, we just buy a traffic signs book, memorise them and then, go and sit for the test which was a written one. Now? They have to go for six hours lesson, sat for the test using the computer (ooooh….sked the shit out of older generation, no? Those with technophobia?) and then, later, another lesson on riding the bike to get their ‘P’ lesson.

My eldest kid had gone through the test, scoring 46/50. Not impressive, I thought. Until my housekeeper told me her son who comes from a premier school had to sit for the test three times. And told me about kopi lesen which her friend’s son bought because he can’t understand the written test.

So, parents, for goodness and humanity sake, start teaching your kids who are barely out of their car seats about traffic regulations. Teach them that Punjabis are allowed to wear turbans and not helmets. And if you need to cuss with all the glory of f.u., knnmcb, bhutto engko, pondek etc, do it too! My atm said that it is important to show the kids what is right from wrong. What is being bullied and what is courtesy. How to respond when taken advantage of.

Like life, we must know when we should defend and when we should move along harmoniously. If someone makes us angry on the road, it is better to f.u. them, wind down the window, put up the middle finger than to remain all docile and comes back to hit the wife and kids. Kehkehkeh, ignore me, I am being dramatic.

Have you heard of people who failed again and again over their driving test? Hehehe, I know a few who panicked and kept failing the tests because they applied the emergency brake too soon, knock down the parking pole, dropped too far downhill etc etc.

Me? I flirted flouted my way through when I was 18 years old. “Eh, encik, tiap-tiap hari naik kereta lembu ‘L’, tak takut kah? Encik ada beli insurans nyawa tak? Bahaya lah.” (sir, you ride on learners driven car, aren’t you worried? Did ya buy life insurance? Dangerous man) *grins, grins, smile coyly, giggles, giggles* Of course, I passed the very first time lah. The driving tester from JPJ was busy talking to me to note if I put the right signal. We had hand signals back then, you know? I think they are extinct now.

So, who got kopi lesen, quickly own up now or forever hold your peace.

19 Replies to “Kopi lesen”

  1. The problem with RTD is the test are conducted in BM.Yes, there are still a lot of young ppl who can’t really understand BM. So, that led to the easy way out- kopi lesen…which is also an avenue for additonal income for corrupt RTD officers. Ironically, that leads to ppl who do not fully understand highway codes, driving on our roads. Hence, piling up the statistics as one of the highest accident rates in the world.
    Take a look at our neighbor south. They conduct driving/highway codes tests in 3 languages because they know that it is imperative for learners to understand safety rules etc, regardless of the language.

  2. I took mine 12 yrs ago, costs us about 400 ringgit during that time kak lilian… and we sat for our written test, too.

    In the US, and that was 10 yrs ago, all tests were computerized (with the options of taking written test lah). And now, many states had already implement multi language testing scheme…

    Premier high school tuh private school ke kak lilian? Kalau private school, I can understand how they could not understand bm….some melayu mengada pon dun speak to their kids in malay ok kak lilian heheheh…

  3. “And if you need to cuss with all the glory of f.u., knnmcb, bhutto engko, pondek etc, do it too!” ahahaha.. *doubles over with laughter*
    i got my license 8 years ago.. no kopi lesen one! But until today, am too sked to drive… anyone willing to cuss me to make me drive? hehehe..

  4. guilty! all i remembered was the damn “ham sap” instructor, always offering to buy me drinks 🙂

  5. Talking about kopi lesen or kopi-o lesen as we call it here in PD, the generation before me, i.e. those aged about 70, all got kopi-o lesen. They all got full E-class licence despite not knowing a word of BM.

  6. *slowly raises hand while looking around anxiously for other kopi lesen holders to own up* i [mum actually] paid RM300 back in the day n after 3 days of learning how to handle a car from scratch, i went for my driving test. surprisingly, it went well. except that i mati engine at the slope! cis…malufying btui!! o and i forgot to ‘adjust’ my mirror. [this meaning that all u need to do is touch it, consider as adjusted oredi if not potong markah!]

  7. eh, some years ago there was a crackdown on all those kapal terbang licence (also like kopi o, not pilot licence) wonder what happened to it? getting my licence was a small nightmare for me. they kept failing me!

  8. i don’t have a kopi lesen, mine is real one! but i did have to do twice written test tho..but then, it was in engrish!

  9. totally agreed – knowing how to read road signs and understanding traffic laws are just as important as physically handling a motor vehicle!

  10. Now JPJ(RTD) required one to attend course before taking the test. I heard story that small district JPJ is more lenient and less costly for you to pass. In city, kopi-lesen is a “necessity” : thanks to the policy maker, public transport still sux after so many years.

  11. I failed my undang2, when I sat it for the 1st time I got 41/50 and the passing mark was 42/50..the 2nd round I got 49/50.
    As for the driving part, I failed my road test because one Honda Civic came into my lane and I applied emergency brake, in front of PJ Hilton. My score was a mere 2/20 for the 1st road test, the 2nd round I managed to get 18/20 but after getting my ‘P’, I never drove until 6 months back because my parents were to scared to hand the car to me, nearly steered the car into a drain, engine mati etc…now driving automatic..such a breeze.
    Getting license in small town is much easier, because there are no traffic jams etc, but when they come over to big towns like KL etc, they will find it difficult to drive..even more so if you’re driving a small car like Kancil or Kelisa

  12. i’ve always tot ppl who give coffee money to pass undang-undang must be bodoh la…for ujian jalanraya got lah, oredi counted in the whole package whether u want it or not…minimum rm200.

    better ask ur son to check wat were the 4 questions he got wrong…hahah..passing mark is 40/50 rite??

  13. Now it’s like everything already “pau-ed”. You already paid for it when you take driving lessons. And only 10+ hours instead of the minimum 16 hours of lessons. I know of new drivers passed already, but still dare not stop on a slope, cannot do side-parking, etc… but on straight road, they go like the devil’s after them.

  14. all i remembered was we hafta pay like RM200 back in 88 for on the road thingy or u wont pass
    .period. so, have to pay back then but for the Traffic Regulations or so called undang2 – not worth it to pay but for most CHINESE

  15. Like you, I also talked my way to a license. Tester was too busy chatting with me that I passed even though I mati engine at a junction.

  16. Got my driving license when I was 18. I only know how to drive when I am 22 when i got my very own SLK “small little kelisa”. Until today, i duno how to read the sign, i pakai guess guess only, and I “cabut” / “skipped” a few of the kursus. SO how ? is my license consider “kopi – O”?

    However, the real driving test, parking test, watever test are driving in KL City. Phew…u gotta be nasty…do all the sign language etc…hahahha…instead of being Buli. U Buli Balik!

  17. U think the SINGAPORE HiWay Code test Easy hor?
    VERY HARD LEI!!
    I failed it 8 times! That was the BASIC THEORY.

    I started taking it while I was in Sec 3 and ONLY PASSED when I was in Uni.

    But lucky, passed the Advanced Theory like peanuts whereas alot of trainees fail.

    Reason : KOPI KEDAI ADA DUDUK ENCIK.
    I kinda cheated on the system, cos when U pass yr BASIC THEORY, U can apply for PROVISIONAL , so I sat for a few driving lessons (plus my dad taught me how to drive in his cab at nite) and I left for the UK.

    Funny thing was, I converted my SINGAPORE ‘L’ license for a UK FULL Paper License and Presto.. I was driving all the way then. My car was AUTO.. so APA KISAH rite?

    Only trouble was when I returned to SINGAPORE and took the driving test.. flunked it TWICE cos they kinda know that you have been on the road (it’s either U been riding or had an overseas license or worse.. DISQUALIFIED DRIVER ON TEST) ..so my BAD habits stuck. Mainly,cos the way we drive in the UK is different, and we have to be courteous etc.

    Passed the test day before I was re-enlisted to the Army, and I was driving an Army Truck ever since. No Accidents ..thank God.

    Talking about accidents, Had THRICE only in my life, once on N-S Hiway at Tangkak Southbound and once in the UK,and once ..drving down the SWISS ALPS going to ITALY but all TEROK.

  18. One of the most difficult thing is to re-take driving lessons because license kena kan-tong. By now you know how to drive, but you have to go through all the boring basics again. And you’ll have to do the stupid things like look over your left shoulder before reversing and silly actions like checking blind spots.

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