Rebranding myself to Five Extreme Mom

This afternoon when I was driving my kids to the skate park (duh, I am beginning to dread afternoons), my laser mouth let loose some words that a sane mom wouldn’t utter in front of her kids.

You see, I live in this funny ‘S’ shape apartments layout whereby, I need to drive through another block’s lobby to get to the gate. So, this beat up Proton Wira with a man was blocking the way. Four women had gotten in and they left the door ajar, waiting…

And waiting….

and waiting….

So, I gave a tiny honk. No reaction ‘cos the girls were all eating apples and something on a stick. The man is acting blardy belagak, leaning back, looking relax like he is park in a park.

‘toot-toot’

Still no reaction.

“PONNNNNN….PONNNNN”

Shitty guy merely move a bit in his seat. The three girls at the back seat turned back and stared at me. I point and show them to move forward (and reverse back after I passed through). Still reluctant wor.

“Cibaileh…you pimp. Pick prostitutes only, you think you own the jalan ah? Niamah…”

From the back seat, little toddler said, “HAH! Mommy said bad word!”

Coolly, I explained lor. “You see, they are very bad mah, so I must use bad word lor. They block the way, you cannot go kai-kai, how wor? You want to go bicycling anot? “

(My #3 doing some karate chop with the Koreans at the Asian X-Games. He broke two planks when I shouted, “Think of the planks as your brother (#2 and him always fight) and box hard-hard. Hentam sama dia!)

So, yeah, I musn’t call myself 5 times mom but five extreme mom. Pronounce as five eks mom, ok? Five eks mom. Repeat after me. XXXXXmom..

*sigh* I had been reading back some of my earlier post. Hey, you should too, check out the related links after each post. And I realised that I am now not true to myself anymore. I write only what I think my sisters (they read my blog too) wouldn’t faint, reading. I say only what I feel wouldn’t get lambasted by religious people. I try to maintain a standard that my nieces and nephews expected of me. I make sure my church friends will not sit far-far away from me each time I meet them in church. LOL. It is no fun blogging when there are no flames.

(#2 has taken karate classes so no problem to break those planks. I think the planks are tipu-ed one lah, cos they break so easily.)

So, how? Apa maciam? Rebranding and restyling, good hor?

20 Replies to “Rebranding myself to Five Extreme Mom”

  1. I always have a steering lock in the car (not that I need it) but just in case I run into these kinda jokers.

    U should change your horn to the KTM type lor.
    As my late grandad say:’HORN LORI PASIR’

  2. Hey.. Lilian,
    It’s hard to write.. when one cannot be true to oneself..! i feel the same way.. therefore am on a hiatus.. to see what i wanna do about it.

  3. hey, how come every time i see ur atm in the back ground he wears the same shirt over & over again? u don’t buy him clothes kah? hehehehe!

  4. yes, yes, re-brand. re-engineer, whatever. becos, everytime you write something religious and serious, i dunno what to say.
    and you teach your sons to karate chop his brothers wan ah?

  5. *whoa

    In the first picture, your toddler looked like he was very very very afraid that his brother would break him like how be was breaking the planks!!

  6. yes, i want to hear what your true self has to say. you have always been so straight, it’s just not you to go hide behind diplomacy. let’s have the real lilian who says whatever she thinks. if it creates riot in the blogosphere, so be it (tapi jangan sampai ISA also come lah). after all, the best writers are those that create debates and arguments – like da vinci code.

  7. mama23beas – Yalah, they even cut the apples with pen knife before kicking them. But I do kesian these young guys who kena perform in the hot sun every day.

    pelf – Hahaha, very tension cos the planks are thick and they gave two to the kids and three for adults to break.

    ahpek – I don’t allow them fighting in real life mah, so that one is the good chance to release the anger lor. ahpek, why? you cannot wait to read more humsup tales, issit? hehehe.

    wuching – You bad, you observe so well! Hahaha, true oso hor…But you know lah, men where bother to care what they wear, only wear what comfortable. Not like you, wuah…new clothes for every season. Here no season, so no new clothes.

    may – Good! You also rebranded from month of may to littlemissmay.

    mamabok – Right, it is like dumping half load and keeping the rest. You walk around around feeling half constipated. LOL.

    azrin – My car horn has been modified a bit already. But not lori pasar punya loudness, later one day sendiri kena hentam for honking the wrong guy.

  8. At least your toddler didn’t repeat after you..

    Nowadays, I said, “Oh My”.. my toddler will add, “God”.. then start chanting and giggling “Oh My God, Oh My God…”

    And if I am about to say SHIT.. and stopped at SHHHH (realised she’s around so I stoppped).. she will continue, “SHIT”.. and then starts chanting “SHIT SHIT SHIT”.. *slap head*

  9. haha.. my kid also says SHIT plenty o times! No thanks to me!

    actually, how do you cope with their injuries ah?

    p.s… the thai kids he sponsored, 1 of them won the bronze medal for inline skating. Not skateboarding leh..

  10. If you change name to XXXXX mom, you better live up to it. That means posting XXXXXX stuff to entice me…. if not, I’ll sue!! 😛

    Hey, you’re Lilian to me all the same…. sweet, fiery, religious & funny… a bit of contradiction, but hey, that is what makes you so unique mar… lol

    Hey, your son can karate ar?? Terror lar. I used to send my boy to TaeKwanDo classes back then. He wasn’t interested. He said he’s a lover, not a fighter. **puke**

  11. This is really hardcore xxxxx mom lei 🙂 Sometimes we need to teach our children the finer points in life that is not tot in the schools, how to properly swear off sounding like a pro, not tat it is proper behaviour but sooner or later will still learn lei, but it tat a bad thing to do? Cheers!

  12. Aiyoh kesiannya! Write oso must consider so many ppl? I say write for yourself. Say whatever you want and just be yourself and to anyone who cannot accept that SHOO!

  13. Write what you feel like writting without having fear of what people would think of you, be original, be creative and most importantly, be yourself.

    Irregardless what hansapness that comes out we will still love aunty lilian’s blog 😛

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