How do you explain what a condom is to a kid?

Come on, STP, Ah Pek and any dads with kids, quick come save me!!!!! HELP!!!!!!

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Was at the check-out counter with a trolley load of groceries to feed the battalion because it is school holidays. #2 son (age 14 yrs) asked loudly, “MOM…..what’s this?” with a glint in the eyes. The kind that I know need not need an answer.

Damn, why must they put these colourful little boxes next to the Smarties, M&Ms, Mars bars, Skittles…..Usually, these are placed at very low shelves. I wonder if there are any toddlers who opened them before and blow balloons with it?
Son #1 (16 yo), “Dude, those are fingers gloves.” Two of them were sniggering.

Innocent son #3 (10 yo) is now really, really, super curious, “MOM, WHAT IS THIS, REALLY?”

Son 2 & 3, ‘DUDE, people said it is FINGER GLOVES, you idiot!”

With a trolley of groceries , it takes a mighty loooong time to clear them, right? So, there he was, reading the labels. Heck, I don’t know what the box said ‘cos I never read them. You know what is written OUTSIDE the box?
God, do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face? So, there, have a field time, dads and tell me what you would explain to your kid? No kids? Never mind, imagine. And moms, how do you get out of this sticky situation? Don’t tell me you go into technical details?

16 Replies to “How do you explain what a condom is to a kid?”

  1. Hahaha, tell me how you handle it. I am not YET there with my kid (8 years), even so he asks already about sex, and babies and conception. I thought I am liberal but hehe, it is a tough topic, I can tell!

  2. the truth is always sacred. tell him he sacred truth. like thus,

    “neeh… you take this balloon hor, make your ku ku ciao hard hard then pull this ballon over it. then hor, you put your ku ku inside… ”

    *proceed to show him how.*

  3. Ishhh… Ah Pek ni, ada ka macam tu…ok, I never got that Q before but just in case…

    “It is something that papa use so that his seed won’t enter mama’s tummy…we wait till baby is bigger to have another one, ok!”

    See, I’m prepared;).

  4. lol, the same thing happened to me when i asked my mom about it back years then. she just gave me that ‘look’ which means ‘don’t go looking for trouble’. eventually i found out from my friends the ‘wrong way’.

    why dont you just say to them:
    “Sons, those are water balloons ONLY for adults. but anyhow I buy you guys a packet and we can play water baloon fights after this. Nak tak?”

  5. LOL… just tell them: This is CONDOM!!
    and no further explain.

    if they wanto know more, ask then to look for it in Wikipedia :p

  6. I got no children and not sure what I would do. So I will try to pretend I got children.
    I will probably try to distract them by saying “Put it back, stop playing with it. Quick, come let us go and buy some ice cream and lychee. We going to have a party”.

  7. muteaudio – HOI!!!! Dun pway-pway, nanti I kena masuk lokap. Ask your bapak is more like it.

    Silent Reader – Ya, that’s what I did too. “help me with the groceries, will ya?”

    LocKee – Dun wan ler, later he got into other site than wiki, how?

    abe – Hahaha, that’s pretty expensive for water balloons and it won’t break as easily. No fun.

    anastasia – It is not easy, I can tell you that.

    wuching – I know they won’t get it out from his mouth ‘cos I am always the ‘explain-er’.

    mama23beas – Then, they will ask you to explain, how the seed is transported. After that, nanti tiap-tiap hari observe if you are up to any hanky-panky, kan potong stim? LOL.

    wendy – I also dunno! I swear.

    ahpek – Heh, easy for you to say la. You no need to explain, ask your ah soh to do mah.

    mybabybay – This guy I am talking about will bug me till death if I don’t explain ALL the way. LOL.

    Andreas – Still working on it. Hahaha.

  8. Yeah, I also dun know how to answer. Thank GOd my boy is old enough now to know…. lol (Hope he’s not using it though… :-P)

    Hey, I tagged you!!

  9. “Son 1 & 2, ‘DUDE, people said it is FINGER GLOVES, you idiot!'”

    HAHAHAH, your two older sons sound so cool.

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