How to fatt tatt (get rich and strike Da Ma Cai)

Drink Fanta and pray (as in sembahyang tokong) Fanta. Instead of Oh Kau (black dog is considered very suey, you know?), drink Fanta because it rhymes with Fatt Tatt. If you got ‘tay choo kong’ that shrine people place on the ground/floor of their home, lagi best. Tay Choo Kong consists of five brothers who take care of the north, east, south, west and centre of our home (or village or town or city).

So, offer five joss-sticks all the time if you pray-pray, hor? Five because there are five of them. And offer five apples, five oranges and five Fantas. If you like, place garlics also because garlic sounds like suan thau or suan is counting (money mah). And a coconut with shoots. The coconut sounds like eia, as in gia (take money lor).

Then, go buy DaMaCai, Sports Toto and Magnum 4D. Buy any number oso can because if you are lucky, you buy 1569 (one coffin) also you can strike it rich. After Tay Choo Kong drank fanta, he is happy and you fatt tatt lor. If you fatt tatt, remember to come back and contribute some angpow money to me to sponsor my webhosting.
This is another community message brought to you by 5xmom, the sometimes online ‘san poh’/tang kee/ medium.

*ahakkkks, cough, cough, cough, vomit blood* Sorry, I am not joking about the part of the tay choo kong. Many people do that in Penang, at least. But of course, what I want to tell you is – it is not so right to pray to anyone or anything or any rocks or any gods to ask for money. Always pray for the wellbeing, safety, healthy and happiness for your family, friends, the people in the world and all good things will come to you.

*sheesh* Sienz, man. I blog so susah-susah and my hottest post is still people looking to ‘strike Da Ma Cai’, get prediction for Da Ma Cai, nombor

But say, got one Alladin genie appeared out of your toilet bowl one day and wants to grant you three wishes. What will you ask for?

19 thoughts on “How to fatt tatt (get rich and strike Da Ma Cai)

  1. Wingz – My main and real message very subtle wan…. But hor, follow you lor. Tell people, dun gamble, dun gamble and then kasi tips how many balls to give/take in betting.

  2. See, Lilian! I told u this Foochow very lui-bin one! What happens if I drink Coke leh? Ha ha ha! If I had 3 wishes, I wish my fart not so loud (smelly, never mind! People don’t know I did it!), I don’t shit so much (Must be the detox I’m undergoing!) and thirdly, that they make bigger toilet rolls…so I don’t run out all the time!

  3. hi šŸ™‚

    this is the first time i’m at ur blog, and i’ve been reading for HOURS. i can say that i’m addicted to you…. read all the way till page 71!!

    anyways keep writing all the great stuff! its real and entertaining, none of those oh im so gorgeous stuff. refreshing!

  4. typical chinese – seen a lot of ppl praying along the way up to Genting. SInce when the god or whatever will bless u for gambling. Siao lar.

  5. Don’t dare to wish for money, otherwise people call me “lui bin”. Lilian, can wish for the naked man in your blog ah?

  6. Jen – Hah, you notty girl. Cannot have naked man on my blog that often la. Half nekid can lah.

    foodcrazee – It is an age old tradition ler. Hard to change liao.

    cass – You made my day, no need to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner liao. Full on the flattery.

    STP – Ewws…you on detox diet? Dun pengsan in front of your student hor? School holidays over liao, how you manage with kaki lembik-lembik like that? But if it works, tell me lah.

    ahpek – Heh, you google and see lor.

    wuching – Dun bluff la. I know your wishes will be longer manhood, harem of concubines and eternal supply of viagra. LOL.

    SA – Hey, that’s all? What about your kids? See? No place for money already.

    Cocka – You think genie so stupid wan meh?

  7. #1: Excellent health for me, my family & friends forevah! (not cheating to condense these into 1 wish, rite? LOL)

    #2: Happy, harmonious relationship among family members, friends and colleagues. (this must be the genie’s biggest challenge)

    #3: USD100 billion. Tengkiu, tats all. At least i’m not greedy enuf to ask for more wishes. LOL

  8. Err, if the genie’s not stupid, why would the genie ask us for 3 wishes? Okay, okay, maybe the genie is stupid, but not so stupid. Lilian, I had also read all your previous posts wor, up until the very first post, for most of your blogs. So, can makan free when I’m in Penang or not? Hehehe.

    Anyways, if I could’ve 3 wishes, that’d be:

    1. I want to go to heaven & stay there forever. Want to meet my idol, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. & also Prophet Yusof, who’s said to be the most good looking man ever lived (would probably stare at him for a long time, hehe). Since the prophets are in heaven, I’d plead with the genie to count this as 1 wish la. If the genie agreed, then it’s confirmed that it’s so stupid.
    2. Excellent health & happiness.
    3. Unlimited wealth.

    If I get to go to heaven, I’d be happy already, my health would surely be in an excellent condition all the time, and there’s no need for wealth ler as heaven has that. Can or not, genie?

  9. Haiya, I detox lah! 70% of your colon clogged with “sai” yunno! Very toxic! I’ve lost weight already…now can use trousers and shirts from 5-6 years ago! Very soon, I’ll be slimmer than u!!! But seem to cough a lot…maybe from all my smoking!!!

  10. coughing ah? better go see doctor lah, maybe ur smoking is finally accumulateed enuff soot in ur lungs to grow u know what lah! haih! filty habit!

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