I tell you why I cussed in church

Thanks peeps for all the un-kind thoughts. (read the earlier post) LOL. It happened like this:

Saturday evening, my reluctant kids attended mass with me. We expected it to be a usual sunset mass, forgetting that it is the Corpus Christi. My children had been in church much, much earlier since 4 pm ‘cos attending cathecism class while I joined them at 6pm. (expect to finish by 7.15pm latest)

So, you can imagine how restless they were when they found out that it is a trilingual mass with English, Mandarin and Tamil. It is three times the normal period of time. I saw a few families leaving before the mass proper after finding out that is is trilingual one and a procession will take place after mass.

But we stayed on and planned to leave after holy communion and thanksgiving. It was about 7.15 pm after receiving holy communion. We walked to the car. And there is this black Vios parked in the middle of the road, blocking three cars from reversing. For the first ten minutes, I was cool about it because usually, some people do that and run out of the church after holy communion.

Ten minutes gone and I am starting with ‘assholesassholesassholesassholesassholesassholesassholesassholes


I didn’t want to alert the traffic warden because:

  1. It is improper to interupt mass with the OHP blinking for people to remove their car (after all, I do feel bad that I left midway). This had happened before when someone got sick and needed to rush to the doctor, only to have their car blocked. Duh.
  2. It was raining when we were in the car and I don’t fancy trudging back to the church building.
  3. Any retard, idiot would have known better than to sit through another trilingual church announcements (after the thanksgiving, usually it is regular church announcements) when his/her car is not parked in a proper lot. So, I expect the CCB to come out any minute because a lot of people were already leaving.

By now, 20 minutes later, my two kids wanted to go out and scratched the car. LOL. Of course, I refrain them eventhough I personally wanted to do it myself. You know la, good parenting and trying to be good church goer at the same time.

So, I can only cussed and cussed and cussed. Pundekchowcheeybyepookeymaderfaktabhttomakhang

phulangkangshitheadassholebastrard retardmoronidiot
Finally, the whole church ran scattering out. So, I got down from my car and waited for bloodshed. Being in church, I expect the person to at least say sorry and give me a feeble smile. But shit, two chowcheebye face fat spinsters came looking indignant. You know…those rich but fat and no man wants type?

So, I told them, “If there is no place to park in the church grounds, you can always park outside the perimeter. How can you block so many cars like that? Don’t you think of other people who needs to leave earlier?” And both never even answered me with anything but kept staring at me like I had done some great sin. Fark man, they are lucky that I was already watching my language and manner ‘cos I have face-water to maintain as I belong to some of the church ministries (like voluntary work likedat lah).

I bet these fei pohs are probably going to curse at me for being so unkind and I can bet my last dollar they probably said something like, “Oh dear Lord, please save that woman and her children. How can she scold us like that when we are suppose to be all holy-moly, loving, forgiving and all that after a mass? Didn’t we stayed extra 30 minutes longer than her and thus, earning more brownie points?”

Well, to these two fat ladies, I wish both of you grow so fat you can’t even see or touch your own CCB and the poohkey will rot slowly. LOL. And I hope both of you never realised your own mistakes so that one day, you will meet one chow ah beng and thrashed your car flat. I’d rather be the holy-moly, patient person and let you both find a bigger, menacing bully.

As for me, I kept cussing and told my kids that I will flush out all those anger so that I don’t have to keep watching out for that blardy black Vios every time I go to church. Otherwise, I will bring an ice-pick with me and make sure all their four tyres are flattened, paintworks scratched and intentionally trip both of them when they are lining up for holy communion.

So, if one day you read in the newspapers that all black Toyota Vios in Penang are defaced, you know who the culprit is.

17 thoughts on “I tell you why I cussed in church

  1. It happened to me once too but nothing quite as drastic as yours (wah salute you for being able to still be so nice to them). A month back, we left right after Holy Communion as we wanted to rush to see the paed who closes at 12p.m and a car blocked our way. So we decide to wait and guess what the owner who blocked our car was just sitting on the same pew with us. Char tou!

  2. Wow, our mass last night lasted 2 hours with the procession. The church didn’t even ask the police to open the road for us, so I can imagine the driver’s face when they have their road temporarily blocked for 20 minutes – cursing like you also. Hahaha…

  3. OOh! Aiyoh Minah… think of this as His way to make you go back INSIDE HIS House and pray some more…

    I always kena this every Raya, so in the end, Makes me wonder.. and learn something new….

    ‘Sabar bang..sabar!Sebulan Puasa Nafsu boleh nie nak tunggu orang lain buat ibadat tak boleh.Buat kering ajer pahala!”…Long Lasting remarks that someone left me many years ago. *(If that’s not bad enuff,I was lucky not to be CLAMPED infront of the masjid on Raya Morning in London! Whoever kena that time must cuss cos it cost £400!)

    One thing you can learn is, Go early for mass, and park far away! Gives abit more exercise and more Good Deed gained for the extra mile given!

  4. Temper Temper !!


    Aiyo…well, tat’s life lah Aunty..people memang very CCB one and can be bloody inconsiderate, next time u should come late and park in front of their car and then take your sweet time to get out of the church hahahahhaaha

  5. Hear! Hear! People like that need not go to church! Some…even if we go out at the very end of the service, they dilly-dally…and make us wait under the hot sun! But then, forgive…and do not judge, lest we be judged!!! Accept all that as penance for our sins (bet we’ve a lot! Gluttony is ONE!) and may God forgive us!

  6. Not a problem for me.
    I only attend any mass or prayer session only after my source confirmed that lenglui(or leng si-lai) will attend it.

  7. Dang! Woman, u sure know how to cuss! Lol. High five to you & I’ve started looking out for headlines on the news regarding assaults on Black Toyota Vios..kah kah kah…

  8. Lilianchan: mari chant with Desi:

    peace, peace, peace…

    then give the hardest kick like taking a penalty kick for MY team at World Cuppa (size XL) at that Vios (wat’s dat?) and then Go back in and pray, play, pray like
    PCK UNlimited.

  9. y’know..maybe they were actually scared of you..so much so, they were tongue tied. Even if they looked like ..whatever they looked like.

  10. Aiyo…hubby was eye-ing a black Toyota Vios. I thank my lucky stars we didn’t get it coz we got to the same church too (and have blocked ppl before)! But we’re the repentant ones who rush out after final blessing and very apologetic ok.

    Totally agree with why you “tok hui” with those 2 ladies…met some like that before. Can acceptlah if no apology but don’t bloody look indignant at me when you’re the one blocking my car, ok!

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