Maternity Pads – why are they so big and thick? – Sloggi

I got this funny topic suggested by a reader who calls herself Sloggi. Actually, I had written Yvy’s suggested topic of ‘How to find Jesus in the most bitter person’ but it lacks oomph. Will reflect more and publish that later.

Now, Sloggi asked this question. Hmmmppphhh…how to answer, jek? If you think maternity pads are big, wait till they put you in adult diapers. Fuyoh, that one really chialat wan lor. Nowadays, most hospitals put the woman who just delivered in adult diapers to soak up the blood. Or even worse, when I cannot get out of bed to pangsai (‘cos I am not suppose to move) and the nurse brought me a potty to pangsai on the bed. I had been through all those scary shits previously. So, I bet I should be able to answer.

Firstly, maternity pad is for mothers who just delivered a baby . You know hor, taking out a little human from the womb is going to cause a big open, gaping, bleeding wound in there. So, with all those blood flowing, surely need a big pad to soak up the blood lor.

But nowadays, there are stick on pads. Wait till you hear what I had to go through after I had my second son. He was delivered by vaginal birth after caesarean. (first baby c-sec, second baby, I poot him out) So, birth trauma was bad and it was a long and hellish labour. I fainted after the baby came out. Ok, then, when I woke up hor…I pandai-pandai, stood up and wanted to go to toilet.

I simply hate being waited on by people, including nurses. So, I thought if I want to shee-shee, I just go to toilet to shee-shee lor. Manatau, after I urinated, I did not know how to put that freaking maternity pad with loops back! I pusing here and there, figuring out how to tie it. Tiu, half way, I knew I was going to faint and had no choice but to ring the bell in the toilet. And the two fat nurses came running into the toilet, while I was sitting bare assed on the toilet and they managed to grab me before I fell off the toilet. Then, somemore they scolded me like a little kid, saying that I wasn’t suppose to go shee-shee without calling them.

Anyway, if you just have had a baby, you will be thankful for huge, thick, stick-on maternity pads because you need them. Use it ‘cos it is made of softer materials and will not hurt your episiotomy stitches. This is the little price we have to pay for bringing a human into the world. Big deal, you know….Be thankful it is thick ‘cos your pet-pet won’t be pain-pain sitting on it instead of those feather thin, wings pad.

And that’s why, maternity pads are so big and thick. Oh boy, am I glad that I will never have to see them for anymore.

Now, I suppose I have just made all the male readers gaping their mouths and silently walk off. And those single girls and yet to-be-mom women, all geli-geli. However, those whom had delivered a baby before is going to enjoy all the gory details and have more to add to this.