Long, long time ago, there were only two or three brands of [tag]male[/tag] underwears. They were either Crocodile, Ace and Cap Pagoda. Most probably, all the boys’ moms will buy a whole yard of bluish-stripey 100% Made In China cotton cloth and sew several ’sar kak khor’ (three corner/triangle pants) and buy another yard of elastic band and string through the triangle pants. Then, every males live happily ever after, produce lots of children and never have the urge to rape or molest girls so much. Correct or not, last time where got so much crimes like nowadays?

But nowadays, I get a headache looking at the range of underwears available in the market. Remember that I have five of them needing[tag] underwears[/tag]. And not to mention teaching a toddler that ‘girls wear panties, boys wear underwear, gays wear manties’ (ok, I never teach the third choice) so that he doesn’t go around and say ‘Mommy, I got wear panties’ in public.

Let’s see the range of male underwears available on the market:

1) The Sponge-Bob Square pants, top eleastic band, opening in the front, fully cover the butt type – Cap Pagoda, Crocodile and Steelman

2) The regular Joe, Muthu, Ah Chong, Ali type, no opening in front, no elastic band type – usual brands Alain DeLoIN, Byford (Let me guess…..80% of my readers wear this type)

3) The ‘I hope when I wear this, I got a chance to have a girl strip me’ leopard prints – Renoma, Levis

4) The ‘I pangsai also no need to take off my underwear’ – very suitable for days when you lau sai /cirit-birit – brands – I don’t know wor ‘cos I never dare to peek at those brands. Later people think I am a perverted auntie

5) The boxers – Which there are two types. The naughty ones with bananas, sausages and other love symbols and logos like ‘Available 24 hours’. I like those cottony ones because it makes a good shorts at home.

The ahpek, blue colour, pull-string variety – Only seen on AhPek bechas when they aren’t sitting properly and their over-sized bermudas revealed just a peek.  Or they intentionally flash?  Ewws..
6) The g-strings – which is a wad of tiny strip of cloth cutting into the butts. People who wear this tends to be very grouchy and have problem with anger management. Because, dudes, our buns are not meant to have something grating on it lah! When you can’t afford to be seen pulling and tweaking your butts, all those pent-up needs tend to rear its ugly head elsewhere.

I wanted to provide an illustrated guide to this post but I am scared later, people report   that I run a p0rn site.  So, after you have finished reading and commenting, remember hor, visit this site only after you have finished commenting hor?

And as usual, as a matronly, kind and generous blogger, I have an educational message – Always wear a clean underwear. Goodness, change it every day! You certainly don’t want to end up in the lokap/hospital bed, by the road side, in the bar etc, being secretly videotaped, posted on You-Tube with a torn underwear or worse still, underwear with patches of yellowish stains. And worst is wearing a female, lacy panty.
Ewwss…Remember, nowadays, nothing is private anymore. Even singer Gillian Hung adjusting bra straps get on front page of magazine. So, like your grandma tells you, WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR ALWAYS, BOYS.

You know the drill…

Men – What number ah?  (1-6 above)

Married women – Red alert if your hubby jumped from choice No. 2 to No. 3 or 4.

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4. You need religion, not wonder bra
5. Underwear soup
6. The bane of being the only woman in the house who is neurotic about punctuality
7. When 5xmom goes lingerie shopping…