Hear this! I got two lucrative business proposals!

Number one:

Online gigolo and male telephone companion services
Check this post by this siao fella. Bookmark his blog, very funny one. I visit every day. It just gives me an idea. Which male readers here want to be part of my company? If you are female but got deep, deep jantan voice also can join. I want to open a telephone services to deal with calls from lonely women. Never mind that your face looks like

Sami Bulu

or very cina apek

or like katak puru.

Janji suara merdu

dan pandai kelentong. (rhyming hor?)
Just need a soothing voice and skill to woo the females.

(screenshot stolen from cywong aka astrosurge)
“Hello, sayang…sunyi ke? Abang boleh teman sembang telefon. Setiap minit RM3 ringgit. Bermula dari sekarang… Cakap lah… Sayang dari mana?”

How? How? Who wants to apply? You can work from home, in your seluar dalam pun boleh. Speak any languages.

I take 60%, you get 40 per cent.

Pays better than Google Adsense.

Ditch your blogging ambition

Jadi gigolo telefon sampai pencen.

Second lucrative business – Tourist guide cum swearing guru

See? I am more enterprising that those cilaka Nigerian scammers. One of my regular blog kaki (who doesn’t blog, which is a pity), fire80 emailed this to me. I missed reading it ‘cos I hardly read paper.

The Sun, 14 September, 2006, Page 1- No More Swearing in Public “Hong Kong: A Campaign has been launched to outlaw swearing in public and to make rude references to people’s mothers a criminal offence.” Kong Fung Yi, a district councillor in the Tuen Mun area, hopes to have a law that will specifically outlaw swearing directed at mothers or the private part of mothers, the South China Morning Post reported yesterday”

So, can you see the potential here? Can anot? Tsk, tsk, tsk….Cannot ah? Goldmine lah. Hongkie people are known to be very spendthrift. They have the ‘Poket kosong tak apa, gaya mesti ada’ kinda people. Or so that’s what Wah Lai Toi taught me lah. So, how about “Visit Malaysia..truly boh hou siaw…..(someone please translate what is boh hou siaw)

We fly in plane loads of tourists from Hongkong. Five days, four nights….swear your mader, fader, grandmader, grandfader, 99 lines of ancestors also can. We organise courses for them. Teach them swear words in Tamil, Malay, Hokkien, Hakka, Malayalee, Punjabi, Indonesian, Hainanese…..Feed them well, take them shopping, stay five-stars hotels. Good deal for them. They got a chance to let-go those pent-up, cannot swear frustrations and when they return home, they can swear in BM, Tamil, Malayalee, Hokkien….anything except Cantonese and English which their authorities understand. Good deal or not?

So, I can imagine something like, “Oi, pundek, lei chou mat yeh, puk*makhang, lei sek pau mei? Kanneh, mm goi sai. Lanciau….chou san” (this are just for illustrations, don’t take offence ‘cos I did not actually utter these, ok?)
How? Who wants to join as tourist guides? All races welcome. This one, I take 50%, you take 50%. Good deal hor?
Quick, limited places only. Fast-fast register by signing in the below comment box. LOL. *slaps self for coming up with such craps*

19 Replies to “Hear this! I got two lucrative business proposals!”

  1. What is happening to the world? How can we go on with our day to day life if we cannot insult each other’s mothers? The world is coming to an end I tell you.

    You need a sexy Texas drawl for bidness Little Missy? wakakakakaka

  2. “Hello there, what are you up2? What are you wearing at the moment, oooh, hmmm, I see, are you lying down in bed now? How lovely, hmmmm, what do you want me to do to you if I’m there right now with you?” hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha

    Should make it compulsory for the applicants for job number 1 to watch this movie from the mid 90s entitled Girl 6 hahahahaahha

  3. STP – But of course! You are a cikgu by profession. I kasi you extra kamsen, ok?

    nyonyapenang – LOL at yr suggestion

    QV – No wonder you never made it through theologian (?) class lah!

    azhan – I wonder if the report is true, got so many desperate housewives/women in our country.

    SA – Oh sure, I am sure an angmoh will draw some SPGs.

    Wingz – Gua kasi you special kamsen lah. Ini Astrosurge mya idea. Wei, you go see the video on his blog, got pig singing puki-puki song. Serious.

  4. Wahhh… this mader got too much time on her hands lor… but there is some business potential… perhaps.

    Setup a 998 line for them to dial lar so they don’t go and dial the 991 line. Easier to remember too. Mana tau you get “crank calls” about wanting ambulance or fire engine or police pulak.

    nyonya- that’s a good tagline!

  5. i know there are tonnes of desperate students like myself for example. hehehe.. oh yea something happened in USA few months back. i just refreshed it from my memory about a lady calling 911 just to talk to a hot officer or something like that

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