The turkeys ain’t no good for ya, dudes

NO!!!!! The annihilation against ugly birds have begun. They are evil looking. They can spread American-ism. The pilgrims ate them. The[tag] Christians [/tag]must have one on the table. Eating [tag]turkeys[/tag] will probably make you very ‘Christianie’ too. Who knows, after a meal of turkey you suddenly stood up, look to the sky and started singing, “Jesus Christ, superstar!” “Hallejuah!”

But Norbest said on their website:

Frequently Asked Questions

Are your turkeys certified Halal or Kosher?
Occasionally we fill special orders for[tag] Halal[/tag] whole turkeys or other Halal turkey products. These are slaughtered and processed following Halal requirements under the supervision and with the involvement of an authorized Muslim cleric. These Halal products are identified with a green and white sticker on the weight tag of the whole bird or on the side of the package of further processed items. This sticker clearly identifies it as a certified Halal product. If the Halal sticker is not present then the item is not Halal certified.
We are not producing any certified Kosher products at the present time.

Norbest is probably the only brand of whole turkey available on our supermarket shelves.

And our country have long been selling huge, giant turkey drumsticks for years. So, does this means that previously, all the turkeys were not halal? Don’t tell me those giant drumsticks are from Malaysia. Don’t bluff lah, only Malek Noor has thighs as big as those. So, does this means that they have not been halal all the time. *horrors!*

Jakim: Imported Turkey Not Halal

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 20 (Bernama) — [tag]Muslims[/tag] are advised not to consume imported turkey and turkey-based products meant for the[tag] Christmas [/tag]and New Year celebrations as they were not halal.

[tag]Malaysian[/tag] Islamic Development Department (Jakim) director-general, Datuk Datuk Mustafa Abdul Rahman said the government had allowed the import of the products specially for the two occasions.

“Consequently, all imported turkey products in the market from Nov 19 will be deemed non-halal,” he said in a Press statement issued here Monday.

The department had also issued special guidelines for supermarkets and other outlets to follow in selling them to prevent confusion among Muslims.

One of them is that all the products must have non-halal labels on them.


This explains why I had not been able to buy turkey to stock my fridge. So who am I gonna massage with XO, slather with streaky bacons and grill this year? Any idea? Who is the turkey?

DOH! Talk about being paranoid.

34 thoughts on “The turkeys ain’t no good for ya, dudes

  1. wow i didn’t know that. and i’ve been eating turkey ham in those luxury hotels. lmao! daddy kompeni pay lorr.. haha.. anyway that photo lilian, reminds me of Mr Bean’s thanksgiving! can get those huge turkey here meh? here all poultry animal chop into 20 pieces, middle-eastern and ang moh countries cut into quarters.. hahaha

    p/s: thankgawd the turkey so small cant fit your head 😛

  2. azhan – That’s what makes me naik api. For years and years, they have not been doing anything ke? Why suddenly want to issue a statement like this? I thought that they are supposed to make sure that what gets on the supermarkets’ shelves are halal, right? I know very well that those turkeys I bought from Tesco have the halal stickers. Norbest, such a big corporation, definitely don’t mess with their certification, kan?

  3. u punctured its nen nen?!! i’m eatin sliced turkey ham and porky sandwich, with the tasty cheese. and yes, japanese mayonaise. like the one u reviewed last time. wohooo

  4. Alex – No lah, that one is the pop-up timer. When the turkey is cooked, the thing pop up and we know it is cook, minus the overcooked, dry taste.

  5. aduhhh this JAKIM really conpius me lah. go and settle lah with the producer and said come and get our halal logo so can sell in malaysia. why need to put Non Halal logo. if got no Halal logo, can’t we just deduce that it is Non Halal. So now we go supermarket, we should see everything label either Halal or Non Halal. waa banyak waste itu labelling material and effort to label.

  6. It’ll be fantastic if we can get halal or kosher turkey. Am not muslim or jewish but I like the fact that the animals were slaughtered “peacefully” and I am not ingesting all their fear/stress hormones! I can generate enough of that all by myself!!
    Lilian, have not dared roast a turkey. Am very tempted to do so this year. What’s the weight of the one you’re holding on in the pic? Some are intimidating at 5/6 kg!.

  7. hahaha. This turkey reminds me of the chicken in UK. The chicken over there is the same size as the in your picture!! I wonder if they pass off “big” chickens as small turkeys over here…..

  8. I am wondering when JAKIM makes those statements, is it because those products are not “JAKIM” certified but may have been certified by other Halal Certification bodies.

    I’m wondering whether they have made it compulsory (shove down my big mouth) that only JAKIM certification is acceptable in Malaysia.


  9. From JAKIM website:

    “Sijil Pengesahan Halal bagi perkara-perkara 2.4 hingga 2.7 yang dikeluarkan atau dikilangkan di Malaysia mesti dikeluarkan oleh JAKIM/JAIN/MAIN.

    Bagi produk yang dikilangkan di luar Malaysia untuk dipasarkan sama ada di Malaysia atau di lain-lain negara, JAKIM tidak lagi mengeluarkan sijil dan logo halal. Pihak syarikat boleh menggunakan sijil dan logo halal yang dikeluarkan oleh Badan Islam di negara berkenaan yang diiktiraf oleh JAKIM.”

    Ooooo, baru saya tahu..

  10. fire80 – Yalor, I have a feeling this is part of the no-cross icecream reasonings lah.

    moo-t – My oven not really big but enough to stuff one 5-6Kg bird.

    susila – Wow, really? The angmohs chicken also as big as the angmohs.

    alphabeta – That bird was the smallest I can find. That’s why these few days I had been pestering Tesco, mana ayam piru and no one knows why there are no turkeys. Must buy early to get small birds. Otherwise, cannot afford to buy cos my roasting is still in experimental stage. That was my first turkey. The recipe is on my food blog.

    ninuk – I think they all also sendiri confuse lah. Hehehe.

  11. Lilian,

    Your last turkey picture make me laugh too loud. Ppl around me thought I’m mad. Continue these kind of original funny pictures. You made my day a happy one…

  12. wahlau – My recipe very easy one. I pour XO Brandy on it, give it some salt and pepper to season. Then, when want to roast time, I just stuff butter in between the skin and flesh. And lay strips of streaky bacons over the chest (facing up). Roast at 200 deg for first 20 minutes then reduce temp to 180 deg celcius until the red thing pop up , takes about 2 hours I think. Make sure you buy one with timer, easier to know it is cooked or not. Don’t stuff anything inside the cavity so very easy to cook. If you like just put some garlic and herbs. The taste came out very nice wor.

    Agnes – Hehehe, ok ok.

  13. Turkey taste nice eh, like an oversized chicken. Btw auntie u reminds me of an episode from Mr Bean where he stuff his head into the turkey’s butt. XD

  14. Lilian Darling!!!

    You should read my write up on this darling in my blog!! before that, I must warn your other readers who want to roast their own turkey this year or expect to get it from the hotel’s or deli, THERE’S NO ROAST TURKEY SERVED IN HALAL CERTIFIED HOTEL’S THIS YEAR!!!!

    This year, there’s a quota on amount of turkey being imported in…so go to your deli or coldstorage now and order before its all gone Darlings!!

    buzz buzz

  15. Fly – My hunch is right. ‘They’ associated turkeys with Jesus! LOL! Puhleeezzzzz….They can take away the turkey, the icecream t, the tree, the songs on the radio….but we are not going to bother right?

    Arrgghh where is Qua Vadis to lecture on this?

    ront- I am going to hunt for one soon.

    CLF- Ya, without the chicken smell too.

  16. Hi Aunty 😛

    Was reading your posting and then went to the “fly’s” posting on the same matter and it further show’s the stupidity of our garment and their mentality!

    The association of Roast Turkey dinner, In Malaysia is for Christmas Dinner, (while in the America’s its associated with Thanksgiving, where they give thanks for the year’s labour in memory of their ancestors who celebrated their first year in the new land with the first thanksgiving feast)

    Traditionaly of course, instead of turkey, roast goose was used or duck but since turkey became more available and it taste good and seem to be available in Malaysia only during Christmas time, we started serving Roast Turkey during Christmas in Malaysia only recently and in England it was when the the turkey was imported to France by the Jesuits in the 1700’s did turkey became a staple in the Christmas dinner’s.

    Our Government claim that turkey that’s being imported to malaysia is non-halal is based on the ground that as stated by you aunty, Norbest, is the company that most Malaysian companies get their turkey from and Norbest does not comply with halal certification as they do not have any halal certification and do not state that they are HALAL in the first place!!

    So, what’s the problem here? Well, most Muslim’s in our country, as stated by Patrick Teoh in an article on the magazine Over the Edge a few months ago, stated that this Muslim people are suffering from some issue that they are just plain envious of what others are eating and they wish to eat what other’s are having!! So they decided that, why not have turkey during christmas also? As its not stated in the Quran as the forbidden food!! So, this has been going on for years, where our Muslim brother’s in Malaysia has been feasting on Turkey dinners during Christmas time without thinking until one fine bugger in the Islamic Department realised that its not halal, partly due in part with our Government Policy of making sure all things are Halal certified before being brought into Malaysia and lo and behold!!! Turkey is hereby officialy classified as NON HALAL (I wonder if Muslims who have eaten turkey now have to go and eat dirt in part of their custom to wash themselves or items that have come in contact with non-halal meat) and they impose a quota on the number of turkeys to be brought into Malaysia!! (this quota is true as I just rang up my cold storage and they informed me that there’s only a limited amount coming in and I’ve booked mine for my personal Christmas family dinner!!)

    So, there you have it, a case of our Malaysian government being the watchdog of our Halal Diet, have now placed turkey in the non-halal category and placed a quota on the amount to be brought in.

    The main reason however, is stil that, the Muslim brethen is the one that started the problem because they want to eat turkey also during Christmas time but now that they can’t they are making life difficult for us who are none muslims!!

    Do not be suprised that next, we will have a problem getting imported bacon and hams!!!!!

  17. and I am talking about the Pork Bacon and the Pork Ham type..not the turkey ham and beef bacon!! as stated in the “fly”s blog

    anyway..this is Malaysia for you, from bad to worse!!! Malaysia Truly Boleh!!

  18. Alphabeta, have you ever seen how they slaughter halal or kosher meat?

    The ruling on this form of slaughter is that, the blood is the be bled out completely from the animal, therefore, The act of slaughter, is by restraining the animal, as can be seen done during Hari raya Haji mass slaughter, of which, I recommend that you go and watch as I have before you judge it as “peaceful” way of slaughtering animals, and then applying rapid cuts, usually backwards and forwards, severing the major blood vessels in the neck and then the animal is made to slowly suffer writhing on the ground and have all the blood bled out as Muslims and Jews are not allowed to consume any blood products.

    Is that considered slaughtered “peacefully”?

    I do not think so.

    Our case of Norbest turkey, its best of US regulations of which the animal is stunned before slaughter and thus lessening the stress and pain level towards the animal and is considered more humane.
    Take for example, the slaughter of livestock for hari raya haji, the animals are basically tied on all four and the haji utter prayers over the poor animal and then proceed to slit the throat and allow it to struggle and die there and spill the blood on the ground and be classified as “Korban” or sacrifice to appease the God, as Jewish tradition.

    I have seen also, while living near the Kampung in Sibu how the old malay ladies slaughter the chicken under the house, its simply by saying some verses of prayers over the chicken, slitting the throat and then letting the chicken run around with the head hanging on its side while the blood gushes out completely from the chicken body. not really humane but that is how it can be certified as halal.

  19. QV, I did not ask you nor anyone else to buy nor eat halal/kosher food. It’s a personal opinion and preference. (Did you just eat a whole plate of belligerence cos it’s coming off you in waves!) At least the animals get a prayer before dying, so in my book, that’s a very good thing.
    If your account of slaughtering chicken to make it halal is accurate, I really cannot imagine the daily scenario of a typical commercial halal poultry farm – hundreds or thousands of half dead chicken with dangling heads running around.

  20. hunt for one?? like thos pilgrims forefathers of america with rifles with flared endings?

    by the way….why must it be turkey for Xmas?? its turkey for Thanksgiving lah oi!

    anyway, here in the north, ppl tend to have ham for Xmas…not those ham you use on bfast sandwich lah….its whole chunk of pork ham….see if the govt have anything to say abt that….

    by the way, eurodeli also sells chunk of ham good for roasting. for recipe…google for it lah…xmas ham or something like that

  21. Isn’t what’s more important is the reason to celebrate, not the kind of food you eat. Imagine the people in poverty stricken countries, those who suffer from famine. What kind of choices do they have?

  22. firdaus – You don’t have to be such a wet blanket you know? I want to rant about a turkey, so I rant. Who are you to come by and remind me how I should celebrate Christmas?

    ront – Our babi here full of steroids and dunno what beta agnostics LOL.

    alphabeta – Hehehe, I can imagine the chaos. But I used to slaughter chicken when I was small so yeah, some chicken memang hard to die and will run with their almost severed head under their wings. And I collect the blood in a bowl of salt and yummm….when it is steamed, it is goood. Did I just make you feel ill? Hehehe.

    Fly – Please don’t find fault with QV. He is my Catholic teacher.

    QV – Wuah…really? I didn’t know that. Thanks for that enlightment.

    QV – Jeff Ooi also posted about this turkey conspiracy too. I guess I was one step ahead of Fly, hehehe. My hunch is right. It is not a matter of a bird. I don’t care if the whole world turkeys are extinct. I never care about it but to me, it is a matter of principle. Why the fuss of importing it? Heck, we got money. If we want to buy a stupid big bird that costs like RM100 above, so we buy right? Good for the Government what, get tax from it.

    And yeah, I went to Eurodeli in Tesco and they have none but told me to go to Giant’s branch. In town, too lazy to hunt for it. You can courier one bird for me? Roasted, with chestnut stuffings, baby potatoes and cranberry sauce, please. 🙂

  23. alphabeta – Hah, I am not going into that kind of debate. I am a Christian. Meaning Christ follower. That is Deuteronomy. If you read the Bible, the New Testament, Jesus had rebuked many of the Jews strict rules. So, yeah, Jesus is a cool dude and He said, eat wateva ‘cos God created the birds in the sky, the fishes in the seas and the animals on land for us to makan. We should drink and be merry too. Cheers!

  24. Oh ya, plus Jesus said, it is not what you put into your mouth that matters but what comes out of your mouth. I.e. the words we said, which comes from the heart.

  25. Lilian, no debate was intended. Just something I came across while googling.
    Just a fleeting thought, Christians should just do away with the Old Testament, and stick with the New Testament eh?
    Okaaaay, back to turkey and bacon then, halal or otherwise……
    Thanksgiving in the US today…lots of turkeys on their tables.

    Lilian, you may have read the following, and this is totally unrelated, but someone sent me this text:’
    AH Lim ingin memeluk agama Islam kerana kuasa & pangkat, lalu dia berjumpa dgn seorang haji. Kata haji, ” ah lim, kamu mesti ulang apa yg aku akan ckp” Kata Ah Lim, “moleh moleh, nyangan susah aji, wa ikut”. Kata haji, “bismillah hiraman hirahim, di Quran byk kata kata malaikat, nabi paling baik ialah nabi daud, sila ulang”. Jwb Ah lim dgn yakin, “similah silaman silahim, dlm kulam byk katak katak malakat, labi yg paling baik labi laut”

    Open minds, ppl! Just a gag. have a good day all.

  26. Lilian I have been following your post for ages since I was brought to it by a friend of mine and I found it very enlightening and entertaining at the same time, I particularly enjoy reading your views on life and on the government in malaysia and been following what your regular commentars have to say and been engrossed in the spice wars that’s going on between some of them. I never speak up on any issue until today and I want to point out something to one of your commenter.

    Alphabeta: There is some issues within your life that needs to be resolved, I recommend that you take an indepth study of yourself for starters. I have read several of your comments in Lilian’s earlier postings and of some of it were basically enligthening and yet at times, I see that you are also an intrusive personality who bother’s into other people’s arguments for some reason that I hope you would know. I would not highlight the matter that I am talking about on your past intrusive behaviour but i would rather point out on the comments that you have left here.

    For starters, you commented that and I qoute “but I like the fact that the animals were slaughtered “peacefully” and I am not ingesting all their fear/stress hormones” of which then, QuaVadis decided to enlighten not only you, but myself included and I am certain other readers and Lilian also as by her comments to QuaVadis’s explanation on Halal slaughter practices and as how it could be compared to as peaceful.

    What he was doing, was enlightening that it is NOT peaceful as what YOU have claimed in your earlier comment and was merely putting a fact into our minds before we are led ASTRAY by YOU in your “peaceful” comment.

    I do not find his comments in any way condemning you, but rather, was pointing out to you that it is NOT peaceful as you have LED us to BELIEVE in your initial comment.

    From past comments, I have seen that you always have a bone of contention to pick with QuaVadis? Why is that so? A personality disorder within you that you just have to meddle in people’s life and their doing? What harm has he done? If he plagiarised as you claimed that he has, it was done in his journal, which if you read correctly his introduction, he is imparting what he has been taught, so of course, they will be plagiarism as from what he convey by that message is that he’s sharing with others what he has read. If that is the crime of his that led you to your behaviour towards him, I must assure you AlphaBeta, there are countless others out there who plagiarise indiscriminately.

    I am not a Christian, but rather have my own belief, but considering that you are planning to roast turkey for christmas as you commented earlier, I guess that you are, and are not Christian’s thought by Christ to love everyone as themselves? So, if indeed you are Christians, then I must say, you put your Jesus to shame with your tactics and style.

    In your final comment, you tried to redeem yourself with Lilian by putting up that lame joke, however, your earlier sentences shows the further ignorance of your faith of Christianity and I believe that you are one of those who randomly pick and choose teachings in scripture that suits your current mood and time and for the rest of the time you are just as good as the hypocrites who roams this world. The ignorance you potrayed is that, your Jesus came into the world, to complete and make whole the Old ways, the ways of the Old Testament. Your Jesus made the Old Testament Complete and Whole by his teachings of which is transmitted to all humanity. He did not discard the Old Ways but brought it to total completion in his teachings!!

    Further sign of your ignorance of scripture is that the Levitical laws in the Old Testament has more to do with common sense as those unclean animals in that period of time are really unclean and harbingers of vile bacteria and germs. Therefore, it was common sense to render them as unclean animals. Scripture Alphabeta must be read with common sense and understanding of the situation in that time and not taken literally as what some people are doing and they, like you, are basicaly as bad as the Pharisee’s that Jesus was forever condemning.

    I have to voice out this today as I find that your comments and atitude is absolutely unbecoming of a Christian and furthermore, is rather hostile and insulting to people and therefore, perhaps you would like a taste of your own medicine


  27. Zak, thank you for that most delightful post. Here’s a mirror for you.

    Have a good weekend.

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