I actually do not want to talk about this issue because every day, I am dealing with bereaved parents. Maybe most of you do not know this but I do have a grief support group for bereaved parents and we communicated online.
So, if anyone knows the heart of a parent who lost a child, it has to be our group because we listened to their day to day routine. How they momentarily forget that their son/daughter is dead and they actually looked for an extra seating when they went to eat out. Only to broke down because the person is not there.
Most of us lived with some trauma from the tragedy that befell their children. For example, can you imagine how the parents of this young man feels? Or how two of my group members who are new mothers who let the babysitter took care of their newborns when they returned to work after maternity leaves, only to find their perfectly, healthy, adorable babies dead because of negligence and carelessness? They have to deal with a lot of emotions.
But none of us have ever have to deal with what these two parents feel. Because our children died due to causes beyond our control. On one hand, I sympathise, on the other hand, I am extremely angry. I cannot understand why these three boys who are already 12, 10 and 8 years old can do something which I am very sure were against their wishes. The only factor I can think of are manipulative parents who use emotional blackmail to co-erce them to do it. Plus lying to their kids about taking the journey to the next world together as a family.
That’s why I have almost no feelings for the mother and father. And this why I am going to say some very unpopular things. Firstly, people have to stopped having the ideal thoughts that we can escape this world’s hardship to be in the next world. They have to stop having the foolish thoughts that their families who are left behind can burn gold papers to pay for their escape and cook chicken and ducks to feed them. Thirdly, they have to know that running away in this manner does not guarantee you the next ship to whatever heaven they imagine. Basically, it is very silly for any particular faiths to think that the dead and the alive are inter-related and the dead can be appeased with chicken and ducks.
Of course, if one is depressed as in a having a medical condition, then, probably my judgement is not so severe. Mental depression can cause suicides. Killing yourself is not as cruel as killing all three kids. But this case cannot be blamed on depression. This case is strictly a ‘I want to have face, if I can’t have my kids, no will’ mentality. I blame it on being Chinese and being misled with ‘something wrong faith’.
None of Kau’s family members were seen at the funeral. (Kau the children’s mother)
Kau’s mother, Lau Kim Moi, said she did not attend the funeral due to personal and health reasons.
â€œI miss my grandchildren very much and every time I close my eyes, I will see them,” she said at her Desa Sri Puteri flat, several units from her daughter. (source)
I will tell you why the grandma did not attend. Because Taoists are damn pantang (taboo) of going to children’s funeral. I do not agree with Taoism (my faith for 38 years) for these reasons. They are so engrossed in trying to get better luck, better wealth, better everything, they forget to think. And they have this belief that if the older person is around, the young ones cannot bear to step into the next (better) world. I had personally seen this in the PICU (children intensive care) where mothers of dying children weren’t allowed to spend the last few moments with their children. These mothers are going to live for the rest of their lives in regrets.
So….I have got this off my chest. I pray that God will have mercy on the boys and grant them a beautiful heaven, free of any sufferings. And let the parents rot in jail, not able to die forever. Especially the father.
And to those ministers who started the same old jingle of ‘Ah Longs are bad’, go work harder. I am not impressed.
Lastly, if you are in a situation with no end in sight, read the Bible, the Romans. Read it four times, over and over again. Listen to what God is telling you and may the good Lord help you out of your abyss. It helped someone I know and I hope it helps you too. If I disagreed with anyone of your faith, also too bad wor. My God is the only God.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
And note : Don’t anyone dare to try to rebuke what I said. I don’t need to hear your opinions. I air this publicly because lives have situations like these. It happens all the time. So, if you are so holy and righteous, go and do something for hurting souls instead of picking the bones with me. And I am not interested to hear about your version of dying and living. We die and we get resurrected. There is no rebirths. Like the Muslims’ beliefs, the deceased will wait for you in the desert with a glass of water to quench your thirst. For me, a Christian, my son will be there with Jesus, waiting for me.
Heh, got you speechless? Never mind, tell me how you feel about parents forcing their children to die along with them? I have two opinions. One of them is here but I have a milder thought here.
You can catch the video on Nanyang showing the funeral and the face of the
parents murderers . (can be viewed with IE but not Firefox) The close-up photo of the parents murderers on Guangming and Sinchew.
19 thoughts on “How do they forced their three kids to drink poison?”
I can understand the feeling that nobody attends a funeral especially the closer relatives. My grandmother passed away 4 years ago and her siblings which is very close to her did NOT even made it a point to see her for the last time due to some holy moly pantang. At that time,I was freaking angry. How can someone that had been your sister for 71 years be abandoned just like that?? And at that point of my life,my point of view towards Taoism changed. And now that I found the Lord,I just cant understand how can ppl be so blind. Those parents ought to be left to rot in the prison. I hv no sympathy on parents who kill their own child but dont have the guts to kill themself. This gets me freaking fed up.
I’d have to say they deserve to live in regret FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. Let them live to be 100+ yrs old and be plagued with ill health every single day. Let the images of their trusting dying children be before them all the time. Let those pleading cries ring in their ears. Let them have no peace every second.
I really don’t know how ppl can bring themselves to do such things. The worst is when they are so convinced that they will ALL DIE TOGETHER. But they don’t have the guts to completely end their own lives. In the end the kids are dead, but they’re still alive. Children are innocent and will probably do whatever their parents tell them to because they don’t know who else to trust. It sucks terribly to know that even parents can be the evil ones sometimes.
I think regardless of where these parents end up, they will be haunted with their actions forever. And of course, they will have to face judgment for what they have done. It’s a real shame.
And to think this isn’t the first time we’re reading of things like these.
Why dont these damn parents just kill themselves..GRRRR . At least some decent family will adopt thekids
eh, why they let the parents/murderers go to the funeral ah?
It is a tragedy…and not uncommon. No matter how bleak the situation is, there is always light at end of the tunnel.
It worries me as the father showed a lack of remorse in the photos. Wht a waste of precious little lives.
5xmom, I think the grandma refuse the attend not because of “pantang”, but unbearable heartbreak.
Man slaughter is just a time bomb in our society, because generally the society still lack the awareness of human rights : a universal value to respect other living. It is never though in school. The school “civics” study are rubbish. It does not teach the youngster to respect others from the heart.
About those “pantang”(taboo) part, actually, Taoism don’t have any taboo(as in Lao Zi “Tao Virtue and attributes”) . What common Malaysian Chinese practice are not Taoist, but Confucian practice cum deity worship.
Its a damn Stupid thing for the parents to do that. Like totally no brains! The children dun deserve to die, they have lots of opportunity to live a happy life. So sick of this kinda “whole family die together-gether thinggy”! Wanna die, die far far away..dun ka-ka-cau-cau other ppl who wanna live!
I’ve been so busy with work that I didn’t have time to read newspapers – needless to say, I was shocked to read about this! I agree with you about such heartless parents. I also can’t understand how can anyone force their kids to drink poison? I feel so, so sad for them…they didn’t have to die. It’s TERRIBLE that there are many such selfish parents out there and worse is that there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do.
Its downright cruel to end the lives of their children like this just because the parents are in trouble.
But I still don’t get it, they keep saying don’t go to ah longs and yaddda yadda, but there is nothing that can be done to bring this ah longs to justice?
May the children rest in peace
I agree with you the parents should be charged with MURDER. I would have understood if they just take their own lives and leave the kids alone.
I also agree with Wuching. Why on earth should the authorities allow the parents to go visit the boys in the morgue?
I recently came back from Melbourne where I was studying and saw the newspaper articles regarding this case. It’s heartbreaking, and truth be told, beyond these unfortunate deaths, I do not know much about what really happened. All I’d like to say is, may God be with these children, and may the parents be dealt with accordingly.
Tks for all comments. Glad that you agree with me and not some holy-moly people who thinks otherwise.
Helen – I think the reason is due to sympathy. No doubt the stupid parents are wrong, but they meant well when they did it. They still hurts and it is good they have a disclosure there by attending the funeral. We can see it as a way for them to put an end or to be wicked, good for them to seal that image of their children in the coffins permanently in their mind so that it haunts them forever.
dylan – yeah, stupid right? The Government is the one who doesn’t tighten all these, including credit cards and all those instalment payments thingie and yet, they want the people to stay away.
moo_t – It is one confusing worshipping that the majority of Chinese follows. See the umbrella on the coffin? These are all very traditional funeral practices that I wish can be done away.
ur story of 2 new mothers with newborns left dead at the care of babysitters left chills down my spine…
Death penalty by default for parent(s) murderer
Emotions run wild when these things happen. Because we love our children. These parents have betrayed their children. No amount of reasoning could change that fact.
But perhaps we could prevent another tragedy like that if we understood why they acted that way.
Perhaps they were in the depths of despair.
Perhaps they didn’t think of the possible avenues to look for help or were too proud to ask for help.
Perhaps their world-view made them believe that there was a way out by this way.
Will speculating make a difference in our lives? Not necessarily in such dramatic fashion, but in a small way, perhaps?
One day, many moons ago, while shopping in Metrojaya Buikit Bintang, I witnessed this young mother beating her daughter. The poor soul was crying her lungs out. Shoppers were crowding around them; non responded to stop the young mother or tried to allay further beatings. I took the initiative and walked towards the mother.
I could only managed to utter one word, “excuse” when this young mother burst out crying. I was slightly embarrassed by the sudden outburst. The crowd started to disperse when they thought all is well. I stood there with the young lady as she explained her predicament in between sobs.
She told me she was a single mother and not skilled to care and love her daughter correctly. She truly loved her. But the daughter was mischievous by her benchmark. She tried to spend as much time with her. Someday she even took her to work.
She admitted to me that many times she contemplated suicide together with her daughter or leaving her daughter at the orphanage so that she could start all over again. But she truly loved her and promised herself that she would not give up the struggle to bring her up. Close friends and relatives evaded mother and daughter because of her bad choice in her husband.
She told me she hugged her daughter and assured her how much she loved her each time after a beating.
She wasn’t prideful holding back explaining her weakness to me, a total stranger. I was glad I stayed to listen to her. If she did not explained and I did not stayed to listen, I am sure I would have totally misunderstood her beating her child.
She was clearly suffering from a form of depression. Today, mother and daughter are doing well and living in Brunei.
God, our heavenly Father in Christ Jesus taught us to love each other, to love our neighbors like ourselves. In Luke 6:46, our Saviour Lord Jesus asked why called Him Lord! Lord! when we don’t obey what He has taught us.
It is easy to claim that I am a Christian but followed a different lifestyle. Titus 1:16
I realized I would never be able to offer any form of assistance to them because I decided so. I was worried that she may asked me for money. Fear invaded me. But there is Jesus whom I can run to. I can help anyone if I draw strength from my Saviour and asked Him to live in me in the power of the Holy Spirit to help. I can love if Christ lives in me.
I cannot do anything for Christ’s glory if I chose to live independant of Him.
I would have condemned the young mother for beating her child senselessly. I thanked my heavenly Father for teaching me to understand why not to simply judge people when we do not know the truth.
Our heavenly Father knows the end from the beginning. Everything happened for a reason and everything works according to His plans for His glory.
When I was rotten and a reject, a sinner who is not worthy of anything, Christ came to die for me on the cross. Jesus alone loves me. I am the worst sinner but Jesus never gave up on me.
With all sincerity, I could have passed judgement on the parents for the lives of their three children. I am glad I did not because each day I pray for grace to work in my life and today I pray that God in Jesus Christ will work His grace through me. Without His grace, I am still rotten, rejected and lost out there.
Without grace, probably I could be worst than this parent of the 3 lost children.
As a Christian, I learn each day to view everything from God’s heart and not interpret anything by my own wisdom. I may pass judgement wrongly!
I could have ended up a crook, a rapist, a snatch thief, a murderer, a person filled with all types of evil if not for the grace, mercy and unfailing love of my Saviour, Lord Jesus.
I pray for the parents and bind the powers of the evil one so that in each of us, we reign with Christ our Lord with victory. I asked for Christ grace, mercy and unfailing for them. I pray our Saviour is there with them right now, not because they deserved anything but because Christ is Lord and Saviour. Because He came to die for the undeserved like me.
Christmas ain’t Christmas if Christ did not come to die for us when we were still sinners!
This was tragic. Was away and the minute I got into the plane and picked up papers to read, that was the news. Very very depressing, and I had to answer 20 questions from son who read headline and promptly asked for that page.
Lilian, my 13 year old said this: “I am sure someone forced them to drink bleach. Why would they do that on their own?” And the questions went on and on.
May the boys rest in peace.
a very sad story. They could have put the children up for adoption while they try to work things out. Am sure some charity org like Tiratana would be able to accommodate the boys
Anyway, I disagree that Taoism preaches the pantang larang that we practice. It is just some old practice/ mindset/ culture that seeped into Taosim teaching.
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