How to put your hubby and kid to sleep – Kelantan style

I read about this first on AhPek’s blog and thought he must be joking until I flipped through the newspapers. True enough, there is this contest where women can take part to show off their lullaby skills.

If it is a mothers and babies contest, then it wouldn’t be so funny but very noble. I had spent my life lullabying my kids for almost 17 years. When the regular “Rock a bye baby, on the tree top…When the wind blows the cradle will rock” doesn’t work on hyperactive balls of nerves, my stress level will go up way high and it will turned into:

“Lok cheebye baby on puki top
If you don’t sleep, I’m going to drop
You on the floor like a rock
You better shaddap and give me a break”

So, you see, lullabying your babies is a very motherly, gentle, loving traits that all moms should have. (except dun folow my lyrics lah, tiu)

But, but, but….what does Nik Aziz of [tag]PAS[/tag], the opposition party in[tag] Malaysia [/tag] has in mind? That wives are responsible for serenading their hubbies to sleep? What does he think we are? Concubines in a harem?

“Aduhai…abang ku sayang
Tutup mata pegi tidur
Kalau tak dapat nak tidur
Nak hisap tetek atau nak kongkek?”

Gimme a break, man! This is wayyyyy funny. No, not my puisi but the fact that there are people who places us women in this situation, expecting us to perform these ‘rules’ which they deem to be building families. If we allow all these to slowly creep into the world, soon, we women are going back in time. I know PAS and Kelantan are confined way up on the northern state of the East Coast. But soon all men are going to have that kind of superior air about them. I tell you, sure die lah like that.

Now, who can create the most humourous ‘Rock a bye baby, on the tree top’ to over ride mine?

17 thoughts on “How to put your hubby and kid to sleep – Kelantan style

  1. wakakakahhh! thanks for casting some lights on ahpek’s post. at first i tot dat he was writing a sponsored post for some baby nursery rhyme company…but kenot seem to find any link…then i tot he was actually complaining abt his ah soh nagging him to sleep during bedtime…hahah!

  2. wonder how the lullaby contest is gonna be held? challenge who makes their family sleep 1st? before competition make them haf a super heavy mamak style lunch…(nasi kandar with kambing the best) then…put some sedatives in it also? if not also wan pura pura tidur??? how lahhhhhhhhh to judge?

  3. Blueapple – Psst…whomever that sings and give the judges an erection? LOL, isn’t that what the janggut one wants? I mean, come on lah, women already got so much to do, earn a living, clean the house, jaga the anak, somemore must stay up to put the husband to sleep. Cacat wan meh? Tiu, the more I think about it, the more ridiculous.

    sooi2 – yalor, this ahpek oso, never put the news, kasi me blur-blur why he so chauvinist want wives to dodoi the jantan to sleep. Sounds so humsup like that hor? Feed the ‘grapes’ to the jantan, stroke the hair a bit, nyanyi, feed grapes lagi….OMG, my imagination runs wild already. If you go to Kelantan, you will see that they have a lot of this kopi tongkat ali, all sorts of drink to make tenaga batin more kuat etc etc and you know that the men there are seriously into looking for sex, albeit in a righteous way. I am so disgusted. They take the old-old men to advertise all the kopi kopi.

    JoeC – Aiyor, you need education lah. Kongkek is the four letter word. Now understand?

    Jamie – My mom also got sing, but Mandarin wan. Except that I don’t understand Mandarin.

    Agnes – This wan from experiences wan. But I used to have babies who don’t know how to sleep and ngik-ngok the whole night when I was working. So, had to humour a bit or go mad.

    wuching – Sure lah.

  4. O my, have to be responsible to help hubby sleep too??? Nothing a good whack with a hammer wont cure..hahahaha

  5. yeah, i think most bb love lullaby dun they? but yet some mothers are actually paiseh to sing!

    i can think of one husband whose wife will surely win the contest (and maybe the lullaby not half as gili oso) ….. Datuk K!!

  6. Lilian ar.. I love your blog!! My friend, who like me is always on the look out for good laughs made me read it and I can’t stop laughing since.

    To those ppl who complain because you are making money… Don’t jealous larrrr.. sheesh =D

    Love yr articles on the ridiculous-ness of certain demands on women. I mean come on lah… serenading your husband to sleep?!! Why not put him in a hammock and rock him to sleep too… *sigh*

    Go go Lilian!!! Roarrrrr!!!!

  7. Nak tetek!! 😆
    If my wife ever sang that lullaby to me, sure cannot sleep one! Confirm, err … “wake up” oredy! 😉

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