He is four today. So, come wish him Happy Birthday and if you want, I can give you my PayPal account number for his angpows or birthday gifts. LOL.
Click on the play (triangle) button and then, pause it and wait till the red bar is complete before playing so that you get a smooth clip. I think only 2 mins.
While waiting for the video to finish downloading, maybe I want to reflect back why I choose Matthew as his name. You see, he was born 10 months after Vincent’s death. He wasn’t in the plan ‘cos my hubby and even doctor advised me against getting pregnant immediately after Vincent’s death. (you will know why later) I think it was just mere days away when both of us went to Dr. Cheang HK’s clinic to deliver some nebuliser unit, portable oxygen tank and suction machine etc which belonged to Vincent. We gave it to Dr. C as he could pass on those machines to his patients who couldn’t afford them. (they are damn costly, btw. But thank God for good employer who helped us financially.)
But somehow, I got pregnant. It was a rough pregnancy because I had pre-eclampsia. On top of that, when you are pregnant so soon after a loss, the guilt will wreck you apart. Guilty that you suddenly have someone to replace the deceased one. Like a huge betrayal. So, I was swinging between mourning, rejoicing, worrying over the tough pregnancy and coping with the trauma of that long hospital stay.
My pregnancy had so much problems, I already make plan B with Dr. C for another premature birth (just like Vincent). Pre-eclampsia means my blood pressure shoot sky high and I can go into seizure and sometimes, both mother and child also cannot be saved due to the high pressure.
Midway through my pregnancy, I changed ob-gynae because the one caring for me was too insensitive to my worries. I got myself Dr. Shankar. He looks like a Bollywood star. 😛 Dr. Shankar gave me a standing order to go to the hospital anytime I want to monitor the baby’s progress. So, I went to the hospital three times a week to strap myself to that blardy big belt watchacallit machine that trace the baby’s heart beat and movement.
You can say it is God’s prompting….on 27th February, 2003, I went to get myself checked in the evening. I do not feel sick or anything and I also had also measured my own blood pressure at home. After the thing was done, I was about to go home. Normally, they don’t measure my BP because I already did it at home, three hourly. Yeah, I am paranoid.
But I suddenly requested for a BP check. Until now, I do not know why I did that. And the nurse found out that my BP was 170/140. Normal person would have died already. Regular readings are around 120/80. So, they called Dr. Shankar immediately and I was given some med to put under my tongue and ordered to lie down without movement.
So, a c-sec was ordered the next day….
(continue next post lah, very drama wan)