I don’t know about other women but I like my personal space, my individuality and identity. I hate it when people call me Mrs. Loh or so&so’s mother. I am Lilian. Period. When I was in the hospital caring for Vincent, everyone called me Mrs. Loh because the patient’s name is Vincent Loh. I was too down to care anyway until one day, a new doctor came and asked me how he should address me. That brought back the life in me. That got back my balls and guts and the desire to fight it all. One word of ‘Lilian’ empowered me to take charge of my son’s life.
Serious. Trust me. There is nothing worst than being the shadow of someone. Whether it is the mother of your children or the wife of the husband or the daughter of your parents or watevalah. Of course, I am not saying that we should ditch all of them but we should maintain that little private territory and stand proud as ourselves.
Forget the Wind beneath my wings stuff. We can only do that much and if we start playing the second fiddle all the time and being the ‘Behind every successful man, there is a woman’ shite, you will one day forget who you are. Because the reality is ‘Behind every successful man, there are plenty of mistresses’. And yeap, St. Paul is not very much favoured by me when he said, “Wives…submit to your husbands…” But of course, I can ignore that part because the Bible is so thick and I can pretend not to see the verse.
Therefore…unless there is a Datin, Puan Sri, Toh Puan, Lady…or wateva title in front of my name, sorry lah…I prefer to be Lilian. Now, and forever. Even engravings on the tomb and the obituary too. Just write ‘Lilian is dead’ Not, Lilian the wife of so&so is dead. Remember that, kids. Of course lah…if got insurance claims and good stuffs like that, fast fast claim to be Mrs. Loh lah.
Now, I wonder if other women are anal as me when it comes to how people address us? And men, do you enjoy your surname to be plastered to another individual?
**Forget to add : The only time when the Mrs. title gives me thrills is when we are just dating and those secret scribbles we write for kicks and giggles. Right?
Earl gave me this link. Sort of related oso. Except I got it 4 times more.