Are you Mrs. So&So or are you, YOU?

I don’t know about other women but I like my personal space, my individuality and identity. I hate it when people call me Mrs. Loh or so&so’s mother. I am Lilian. Period. When I was in the hospital caring for Vincent, everyone called me Mrs. Loh because the patient’s name is Vincent Loh. I was too down to care anyway until one day, a new doctor came and asked me how he should address me. That brought back the life in me. That got back my balls and guts and the desire to fight it all. One word of ‘Lilian’ empowered me to take charge of my son’s life.

Serious. Trust me. There is nothing worst than being the shadow of someone. Whether it is the mother of your children or the wife of the husband or the daughter of your parents or watevalah. Of course, I am not saying that we should ditch all of them but we should maintain that little private territory and stand proud as ourselves.

Forget the Wind beneath my wings stuff. We can only do that much and if we start playing the second fiddle all the time and being the ‘Behind every successful man, there is a woman’ shite, you will one day forget who you are. Because the reality is ‘Behind every successful man, there are plenty of mistresses’. And yeap, St. Paul is not very much favoured by me when he said, “Wives…submit to your husbands…” But of course, I can ignore that part because the Bible is so thick and I can pretend not to see the verse.

Therefore…unless there is a Datin, Puan Sri, Toh Puan, Lady…or wateva title in front of my name, sorry lah…I prefer to be Lilian. Now, and forever. Even engravings on the tomb and the obituary too. Just write ‘Lilian is dead’ Not, Lilian the wife of so&so is dead. Remember that, kids. Of course lah…if got insurance claims and good stuffs like that, fast fast claim to be Mrs. Loh lah.

Now, I wonder if other women are anal as me when it comes to how people address us? And men, do you enjoy your surname to be plastered to another individual?

**Forget to add : The only time when the Mrs. title gives me thrills is when we are just dating and those secret scribbles we write for kicks and giggles. Right?

Earl gave me this link. Sort of related oso. Except I got it 4 times more.

24 thoughts on “Are you Mrs. So&So or are you, YOU?

  1. st. paul did not mean that we should remove the identity of a wife since she has to be submissive. ANd i always believe being submissive is not loosing oneself. Furthermore, it is a conditional statement – you as a wife only need to be submissive, when a husband did his part right and well – to love his wife wholeheartedly. else, no need follow since he is not doing his part 🙂

  2. wahlau – Ya I know that part ‘cos our Catholic bible has explanations on it and our priests always make a lengthy preaching on that. Like, love your wives like your limbs etc etc but still, where got men so nice wan lah.

  3. Mrs Loh,

    Why la so adamant about not being called Mrs Loh, Mrs Loh. Mrs Loh sounds ok on you mah, Mrs Loh.

    By the way, the bible asked Mrs Loh to submit to Mr Loh becos generally, women have tough time being submissive… think one pastor told me that before, Mrs Loh.

    Speaking of which, why Lilian? Might as well be known as 5XMom… right Mrs Loh?

  4. What a scary video!!! Lucas is already very clingy now…I worry when he can start talking. No wonder you’ve got guts (or you prefer balls?) of steel 🙂

  5. hahahaa…

    mrs loh, vincent’s mum, michael’s mum, mrs loh, vincent’s mum, michael’s mum.. jes wana say hi!


  6. I think using ‘Mrs’ equates ‘ownership’ of our men, eg being Mrs Loh means Mr Loh belongs to you! 🙂

    I prefer using my own name in all aspects of my life. Why confuse others who may not know who your other half is?

    But of course, if my other half is bestowed with Dato’, Dato’ Seri, Tan Sri, Tun, Sir, Lord …etc, I will cepat-cepat voluntarily take on the his name. Hee.. hee…

  7. sorry la. If someone called me, Mrs.T…I’d think they were calling my Mother In Law! KAH KAH KAH KAH…..

  8. No offence, but, screw St Paul, he was way behind his time. Religion needs to adapt. I do one better, I ignore the bible altogether. What’s a bible ah? Yes yes, preparing myself for hell. Eh, no winGZ beneath your wind? 😛

  9. gallivanter – If Wingz and I skali terbang hor, we will fall to the ground with a big thud and break the earth into two. LOL.

    mott – Mrs. T. Sounds good like Mr. T’s wife. You know..that Mr. T? I dunwan to be Mrs. Loh cos Lilian Loh sounds weird.

    Bee Stung Lips – Hahaha, same like me lah, got title baru tok, no title, go play far far. Kasi properties and cash, then we tok.

    Mr. T – I love Ah Beng so don’t insult my Ah Beng, ok? Eh, wassup with Mr. Mohan?

    PC – Wait I meet you time, I cubit you blue-black baru tau.

    Tan Silly Latuk Wuching – Worry not, no woman likes to use wan.

    kitty – They drove me up the wall lah. This week school holidays so expect a lot of ranting posts.

    wahlau – Rare lah.

  10. You think Mrs Lilian Loh sounds funny?
    What about mine.. Mrs Lim Ling Ling?

    When ppl ask for Mrs Lim, I would either say no such person or Mrs Fat is here no Mrs Lim

  11. At least they call u mrs something . My neighbour cal me AH TSANG TAI AH!!! So old! She’s older than my mum wei….*sigh*

  12. Sasha – Tsang Tai sound better if people call auntie lar, rite moh sin? Anyway, I don’t like people calling me Mrs Cheah also. I always tell people Erina will be good enough. No need Mrs so and so lar. No need to let the whole world know we are belonging to who lar. Erina sound nice mah.

  13. Erina : HALO!!!! i’m only 27 lah! But if she call me auntie when she’solder than me….bring me the gun. Let me shoot myself edi!

  14. I still not accept myself to be crown as Aunty yet..yes..I agree with Sasha, still young la wei…you call me “yi yi” also nvm la…but no aunty la pls…

    Once in dinner, guys tot that I still single la…haha…still got the looks..

    I also don’t let my hubby’s staff to called me Mrs. Pang, as there are 2 Mrs. Pang, still prefer to carry the title of Miss or Miss jUdy 🙂

  15. Lol. I believe more in the phrase “behind every woman is a succesful man” because only then, can the woman be able to do what they want and spend all they want! 😛

  16. yea, yea, once someone tried to get my attention at husband’s hometown, “Mrs. Ng! Mrs Ng!” had to shout till everyone stop and look at me, still i dont know that fella calling me.

  17. usually ppl cal me jen or ah ooi.. but today at work place, some1 call me ms ooi!! so boh kuan si la.. i prefer jen wil do..

  18. btw.. mrs loh, vincent’s mum, michael’s mum, matthew’s mum, david’s mum, wen u wana meet me? hahaha…

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