This is for Zewt

I am very touched to see the way Zewt handles his mom’s death. She passed away suddenly about a week ago. He has picked up the pieces and actually took over her task of cooking for his family. If I am not mistaken, Zewt is a Christian but he has dutifully fulfil the vegetarian diet that Buddhists practice following the death of a family member.

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He cooked something like the above and blogged it – Chef for a day. I read it yesterday and decided to copy his recipe. Oyster mushroom with cili padi. Except that I added lots of garlics, lemongrass and snowpeas. 😛

Now, back to coping with death, the best thing to do is to focus our mind on doing something that is still related to the deceased and keep going with it until such time when we woke up one day and realised that we can actually not think so much about the person anymore. The other thing is of course, to write and express those feelings. I had been through all these (both losing my mother suddenly and also my own son) and often told newly bereaved parents in my support group to :

1) Turn to a faith
2) Talk about the deceased (in this case, their babies/children/adult children) with people who are willing to lend an ear
3) Expect to swing back and forth with the emotions
4) Don’t expect to find an ‘end’ to it because there is no such thing
5) Wake up, eat, drink, sleep, wake up and the cycle goes on.

I remember meeting with Zewt during the Together Gather bloggers gathering but did not manage to chat in length. Still, it has been a very enlightening meeting because through his posts, I learnt many things. As a mom, I hope someday my children will remember me by as much as how Zewt remembers his mom.

Thanks, Zewt. Burppp…it was a lovely dish.

5 Replies to “This is for Zewt”

  1. “1) Turn to a faith
    2) Talk about the deceased (in this case, their babies/children/adult children) with people who are willing to lend an ear
    3) Expect to swing back and forth with the emotions
    4) Don’t expect to find an ‘end’ to it because there is no such thing
    5) Wake up, eat, drink, sleep, wake up and the cycle goes on.”

    Very very true. 12 years on and I still miss her. Never take anyone for granted. There might not be a tomorrow or another time.

  2. I am very touched by this post. Yes, someone told me that there will never be a full recovery… if there’s a failed relationship… one can pick it up and not repeat the mistakes in the next relationship. But with mother, one will only has 1 chance.

    So kind of you for such encouraging words. And yes, I am the only Christian in the family which is quite a huge struggle already.

    Hmm… maybe I should cook with lemongrass and snowpeas too…

  3. thanks for bringing to my attention Zewt’s blog. His experience and reflections on his mum, really helped jolt me up on my relationship with my mum.

  4. zewt’s really strong and it’s glad to hear that 🙂

    life’s short and fragile, and the pain of loosing someone we love is unbearable..you’re right..the pain never ends

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