I don’t often wake up this early. And I wonder why. Early morning is such a beautiful moment. It is still dark outside and yet, the birds are chirping already. I can’t see any sunrise or the sea in the horizon but still, the holiday feeling is there. Must make mental note to practice waking up at 5am to enjoy the solitude.
Well, I woke up because I went to bed at 12 mid. More like, “I must sleep early so that I can wake up to loosen my vocal chords.” mantra. But I ended up sleeping only five hours. Sheeeshhh….
I got a mail from WMD last night and thanks, WMD for the little encouragement. I realised through my experiences that whenever I attempt something like that (vege fasting), I usually met with some obstacles. I think it is true when people tells me that if you try to get close to your faith, you are bound to meet many things that will tear you away from it. The Lent season is over and I learnt a few things. Faith does not come from education alone. You can be so full of church history, church background and know the Bible front to back and back to front and yet, you cannot find the true faith that Christ wants us to have. That is to be human. Human with all our faults and bad points. Yet, humble enough to admit them and move on. What WMD had shared with me is how amused she was with my frank revelations how tough it is for me to stick to my vegetarian fasting.
I can tell you that if not for this blog and the ability for me to rant and drool over the things I cannot have, I wouldn’t have the strength to stick to it. I mean, I tell my blog readers, “Hey, I wanna take up vege fasting.” So, I know at least some will pay attention. Then, I have no way to turn back on my words. If I don’t get to whine and gripe over them, I probably had chucked those prawns into my mouth somewhere along the 40 days. Remember that I started just a few days after Chinese New Year and foods were aplenty. No one cares and none of my Catholic faith forced me to take up vege fasting. Seriously, no one gives a shit whether I do or don’t.
Anyway, this morning, I can truly rejoice in that fact that somehow, I managed to stick to my principles. It is not a holy-moly attempt but rather my principles of doing something and work on it to complete it. I should be getting ready to celebrate Easter morning mass. I will be renewing my baptismal vow in another few hours. Looking back, since my baptism in Easter 2003, I have come a long way. From an ignorant seeker to a person involves in the community. A person who makes a lot of blunder along the way in things I have done. As a lector who forgets her reading, a choir member who got the wrong tune, a multimedia team member who screws up things and a church member who made some people lantiu-ed with me. Ahhh…never mind, I know I will stick to what I am doing because someday, I will also look back and know that if I stick to my principles, I will learn somehow.
I had taken out my choir robe since last night and hope the creases will fade. If they don’t, I hope none of the aunties will notice and nag me. Yeah, I am 40+ years old and yet, afraid of the aunties in my church. I hate ironing those creases because the robe comes with pleats. So, I never iron it because I cannot iron out the creases without losing the pleats. Each time, a few of them are bound to tell me, “Liliannnnnn…aiyor….why your robe so wrinkled? You didn’t iron it after you wash?” Eheh, I dare not tell them, “Auntie….I never washed it because I am afraid I do not know how to iron back the pleats and iron away the wrinkles.” Seriously, why do I have to wash a robe that I wear for mere hours, over my normal clothes? Not like I stink or anything.
So, I gotta get my butt off this pink laptop and bath. In another few hours, I will be joining my church choir to sing and praise the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The Son of God whom have given us a new life. An eternal life. The old is dead, the new is here. Josh Groban’s You Raise Me Up is one of the song we will be singing. I love that song.
Blessed Easter to all who celebrates. Have a nice Sunday to all.