Tulan is not Obnoxious but Kwailan is

Meaning of Obnoxious : Causing disapproval or protest


I saw it. I clicked it. But I couldn’t get it because the blardy internet line was sooooooo freaking slow. USD500. Ptuiiii! Wake me up when April is over.

OK, now that tulan-ess has been expressed, let me teach my overseas readers (chey, as if I got many) and those non-Hokkien speaking people some Hokkien cuss words.

1) Tulan – Pig’s penis.

Meaning : A feeling of frustrations

2) Kapster – Crapster?

Reference given to a person who babbles meaninglessly.

3) Kow Sai – Dog’s shit

An expression of frustration – Kow sai, lu mien kapster kah wa. (Shit, don’t crap with me)

4) How Siao – Horseshoe crab’s sperm

Bluff/Boast. ‘Lu mien how siao lah’ (You don’t bluff/boast.)

This by the way is my favourite phrase. No matter how my sisters and mom scolded me, the ‘how siao’ always stucked to the tip of my tongue.

5) Lu Siao – Rub sperm

Being annoying. “Ee kau giak lu siao’ (he is blardy annoying)

6) Lanpah-pahlan – Penisball-ballpenis

This is used together as a word. It is to express that when a situation is real bad, it is bad, either way. See? Either way you turn the lan and pah, it is still the same stinky thing.

7) Chao lok – Bad prostitute

Some weird mothers scolded their daughters like that, can you believe it? It can sound fond or you can risk a slap if you dare utter it at the wrong time to the wrong person.

8) Lanjiao – Penis

Another expression used to express frustration.

9) Cheebye – Vaginnnnn (ala Borat pronounciation)

Another expression

10) Kanneh – Fark

Penang folks, well the Ah Bengs, use it without the ni. I swear I never got this word out of my mouth before. Though I like to use the KNN a lot for self-expression.

Now that you know, do you think bad words are all that bad? I mean, come on, these are all parts of our body. Very much like our nose, mouth, hands, legs, ears, eyes…..So chill it. Loosen up and don’t cringe so much. And DON’T MAKE IT A HABIT TO USE IT. Niamah (your mother)

*off to gargle mouth with Listerine and wash eyes with Eye-Mo*

23 thoughts on “Tulan is not Obnoxious but Kwailan is

  1. I’ve heard a few Singaporean Ah Bengs saying “tiu nia seng”… I’m no Hokkien expert (if it’s even Hokkien in the first place); but does that literally translate to “Screw You Ah Seng”?

    Is there a “tiu nia lian”?

  2. Okay, I knew tulan means frustration or something to that extent. But I didnt know that it’s literal meaning is pig’s penis. Hahaha! I learn something new everyday šŸ™‚

  3. I’m not Hokkien either, but heard of all of the above. Didn’t know all the meaning until now. Haha, isn’t it funny when we learn a new language, we always start with the bad words?!

  4. Wha thank you for clarifying those words for me but too shy to ask. I have always wondered what Tulan and KNN means.

  5. Hey Ms. Chan… i MUST add you…hahaha… how i wish i have a mom this hip…lol. but nevermind about that… we must go out together…as in shopping for goods and cook…Yes, its my passion. And i tell you your food blog is very very erm…HEAVENLY DIVINE!!!

  6. lol siao means sperm ah?? now onli i know… XD and fuiyoh teach bad kids ler! good for malaysian education!!

    and now onli i know all the real meanings other than they’re just bad words XD

  7. Lil, why frustation all got to do with penis, one??? Swear words in BM always got to do with the female species and that doesn’t apply above. Or is there more ? :0 Intermediate and advanced level ..kut …

  8. LOL, sorry I didn’t manage to reply all your comments but looks like everyone learnt something new today. Thanks for the feedbacks.

    And yikes, I also dunno what is tiu nia sing.

    Anyone? Sing means what?

  9. ayoh……after all these years I’ve been saying bad word….. I thought lu siao means “you crazy” ..so embarrased now….

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