When you guys take a piss…do you

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…do you remember who taught you how to aim? 😛

Is it your mom? Or your dad? Or you rely on your own animal instinct? For example, like a dog, take the leg up, put against the wall and sshhhheeee

The above pic was actually taken by my toddler using my SE630 a long time ago when he was still in the toilet training stage. It was so cute, I kept it in my phone as wallpaper. Now, he goes to the real toilet to pee because his height is tall enough for the adult size toilet bowl.

So, back to my question, do you guys/old men/young men/small boys remember who taught you to aim? Well, did your mommy taught you to :

1) Take out your birdie

2) Make sure it is out of your pants before you start shooting

3) Make sure your wee-wee goes straight into the toilet bowl

4) When you are finished, and really finished and not still dripping, then, only you give it a little shake

5) Another shake…..

6) Or if you are grown up, give it a little wash (eh, you mean you guys don’t wash wan ah? ewwss)

7) Then you put back the birdie/neow-neow/kukubird/kukujiao/penis/whatever your mom calls it into the pants

8) Make sure you don’t accidentally zip your birdie and get caught in the zippers

9) Then, see that you did not leave any spots on the toilet seat/floor

10) Flush and wash your hands.

I am really curious. Is that how it works for you? Ladies, you can tell me too. How do you train your sons to wee?

22 Replies to “When you guys take a piss…do you”

  1. Haha, untie, my mum train me to piss on the jamban, but no teach me to aim anything. *sad, always need to wash the toilet everytime i use!

  2. I get my eldest to aim, shake and put back into his pants (no zip – afraid he might jam his kkc). When I’m not looking he just spray around, that makes whole place stink.

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  4. My hubby showed Justin how to do it, and he got in right away. But for the past few days, he wanna pee sitting in the potty. I guess he’s mixed up. 😛

  5. Forgotten already. Maybe either one of them held my kkc and “aim” for me? Who knows?

    I remember one movie (forgotten the name) where a girl and a guy “switched body”. So the girl was “in” the guy’s body, vice versa. There was one scene where the girl (in guy’s body) tried to pee and it started splashing all over. Then a man beside ‘taught’ her how to aim. But my point is after she’s done peeing, he said, “Now shake it once (to dry it), but don’t shake it more than that. Or else you are ‘playing’ with it”.

    So, you’ll need to cancel #5, or else you’re actually teaching your kid to “play” with it. 😉

    Errmmm…I did got caught once on the zipper, when I was a kid. Happened in broad daylight on the beach. That was when I thought the world was going to end. *OUCH*

    *first comment, type so long, must pay or not?*

  6. terence – Woi, you lah, forget to take your sleeping pills ah? Why? Palace bed no nice to sleep ah? Go read my 5xmom.com, about Vista. And hor, this one is about parenting and social awareness lah. I want to help my country Malaysia to have cleaner toilets lah. Tiu.

  7. TenthofMarch – No worries, I don’t charge if the comment agrees with me. Hahaha. I know the other show is Something About Mary. Aiks, if I don’t tell my little kid to give a shake hor, he will leave a wet patch on the pants. Hahaha, the things mothers do.

    shoppingmum – Hahaha, how to pee sitting down? Now, that is another issue. My kid has this soft, cushion toilet seat and when he ngk-ngk, he need to push the little birdie down to pee. Otherwise, he wets the seat and will scream. Haih..so many little things we need to see to.

    sleepyhao – Hahaha, I hope you don’t mess up public toilets.

    clement – Haiyor, don’t bluff lah, how to pee like that?

    Agnes – Yeah, I also refrain from getting pants with zippers but they look nice so I make sure they wear underwear.

    Fird – Almost same routine la ya?

    Loiuss – Next time if you marry a neat freak, she will scream till the roof explode. Hahaha.

  8. Hahahaa. again a good post. I thought im the earliest here… earliest for Thursday 26 April. B4 6am wow!
    Late again for the post.
    anyway, honestly can’t remember how in the world it started… but what i taught my sonJosh… no more pampers for you.. expensive!, he cried. Go to the “tampui” aka potty to pee, if not no computer games, he cried. after like many wet pants and shorts, he realized better tell papa or mama when to pee if not basah again, and no more computer games. So, now… we saves a lot of pampers for the coming one. Yahooooo.
    and oh ya, he pee sitting down. hmm i shud teach him standing style next time. LOL.

  9. thats pretty much how its done! but then hor, when u shake make sure shake 2 times only coz if u shake more than that you’re playing with it!

  10. Pretty much the same except that my hubby taught our son to wipe using toilet paper after pee

  11. hahahahaa!!!! lilian you make me laugh.

    that one for little kids oni.

    grown men like us,
    go in,
    pull down,
    take out,
    shoot,
    hew hew,
    put back,
    walk out.

    where got aim,
    where got wash,
    where got flush,
    where got cuci tangan wan????

  12. i think the first step would be…to teach them to AIM!!!!!!

    i use to live in a place with shared toilet, and, i see pee stains on the seat..EVERYDAY!!! must be the guys!!!

  13. hahahahaha… fancy such post from you of all people. honestly speaking, no one taught me how to pee before. are you taking tips from all corners so that you can teach your son the perfect way to pee ah?

  14. erm lemme think ha… i’m juz 20 yrs old and i have trouble thinking back 17 years ago how my mom teach me pee… i remember when i’m small i oso got the tamtong (potty) there then my grandma will just ask me to do my stuff there lor. i do sitting one also until one day i saw my bro pee in toilet then ask “gor gor y u standing there de??”

    and so it goes XD

    and agree with ah pek… need to wash pp after pee one meh? wash hands nia wor… lol

  15. u have not met my boss yet….he goes into our office toilet, do not bother to tutup rapat the door (forget about locking it, he never does) then after he is done peeing, he will somehow leave his pee drip onto the rim of the toilet bowl….if left overnight, it leaves a stain so can you imagine how tension building it is for me whenever he comes out of the toilet? Worse part is, we have to share just one toilet. And he is over 60 years old! You would think he would have so many years of experience aiming and shaking! So sad! And Ah Pek is right…this old man do not wash his hands after peeing.

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