I was looking at my old blog which has turned into a little golden goose for me which I call Karma Kameleon. It was the very first blog that I created one late night in October 2003. Oh, the excitement of owning a blog back then.
I was only writing for self expression and putting those little thoughts into written words. I am sure all of us think by talking to ourselves? Like for example, if we want to solve a problem, we talk like there are two persons in our head and then, we solve it. Is that how others think? Or am I the only weirdo who actually talks in my head?
There was a lot of freedom then. I just need to type whatever is on my mind and have no fears of any repercussions or getting any snide remarks. No one reads and no one cares. How nice.
Now? I got readers who tell me what to think. Or what not to write. KNN, back then, I thought it will be so cool to have high traffic like my blog sifu. I drooled and dreamed for it. Now, I wish all will just go away and leave me alone.
If I want to say I hate blacks, I also cannot say it. Of course, I am only using this as an example. I don’t hate blacks, or whites or red or yellow. I only hate greens. I am not racist, ok? See, see? Even this needs a whole para to explain myself. You say lah, sienz or not?
How nice to go back to blogging for self. Then, it will go something like this:
KNN, today I went to have lunch at noon and by then, I was so hungry, I almost fainted already because I didn’t take breakfast. So, I was putting this piece of fatty pork into my mouth to chew and this Malay girl came to sell a big book of fairytale. Since I have two little kids with me, it is like having a sign printed on my forehead “HENTAM SAYA, SAYA MEMANG SUCKER FOR THESE.”
So, I shook my head and show my expressionless face while chewing on the fatty pork. But she was one persistent girl and refused to go away. She went on and on…..”Tak mengapa, saya cuma beritahu harga saja. Ini buku Beauty and The Beast,harganya…..” And I wanted to tell her, “Eh, you tengok tak, aku ada anak jantan lah, oi? Nak anak jadi pondan dengar cerita Beasty and the Beast? Aku dok makan babi, jaga paksa aku cakap. Tak senonoh tau, kalau aku sembang dengan hang masa aku dok makan babi. Mak aku ajar dah, jangan makan babi depan orang Muslim. Tak baik, nanti gua mia tokong hentam sebab saya kurang ajar.” So, I just sat there like a moron and retard and just keep chewing on the rubbery skin of the pig, trying to swallow but I couldn’t. And she kept droning on and on and on.
But you see….I cannot write it this way anymore. People will take offence. They will say that I am racist. Or I hate gays. Or say I am a pagan. Or I am a bitch. Or heartless because I don’t entertain street peddlars. Or I am selfish because I refused to fork out RM29.90 to make the girl go away. Or I am not healthy because I eat fatty pork. Or I shouldn’t skip breakfast. Or I should cook at home. Or I have issues against morons. Or I have no sympathy for retards. Or….BLARDY HELL! Who cares what others think lah.
I am going to blog for myself. Then, now and forever. Yay to 5xmom! I speak my mind. And my blogs tell it to the world. Love it or hate it. The choice is yours.
(Awww…..Terence, come back!!!! Don’t boycott my blog. Kehkehkeh)
I tot all these while u speak out ur mind 1?
lilian … you are soo adorable 🙂 hugs hugs
wakakaka!! I love the makan babi part!
why u care what i say about u leh? just keep blogging and ignore what i say to aunty la. 😛
just be yourself. people come and poke u, use your blog and poke back 10 times more. 😛
Love it or hate it FTW!!! I don’t care as long as it’s entertaining… hahahaha
aunty, the pic u took, foggy … so were u able to see the view of the sea? bad timing, i went on a clear day, light fog only … the view ar …cun!
wuah! i didn’t know u started blogging from so long ago…no wonder u r pro-blogger!
You can always speak out your mind… it’s the matter of your own choice, I would say. It depends on what you wanna take and give, isn’t it? Hehe… I like ur blog!
Lilian cheh-cheh,
better than me. still wondering what to blog. i blog to remind myself what i have done and thought.
keep blogging. it’s fun and touching to read your writing. better than reading any local newspaper and as long as you don’t charge. 🙂
Unfortunately, I have had to become anonymous because I lost my job for saying what was on my mind. I agree, it’s not fair. Some people say that because you put it on the internet, you want EVERYONE to read it. That’s not true. Blogging is supposed to be just for yourself. It’s like you say…if you don’t like what I say, don’t read my blog!
Sorry you can’t be yourself. Why don’t you start another blog that is not with your name or pictures of you?
Good luck…I love reading your blog!
It’s ok, dun like the comment just trash it…hehehe. But I was just thinking your dilemma is like that of a celebrity…first they need publicity from the media, then when they become popular, their every move is being tailed by paparazzi…such dilemma. That means you’re equivalent to the A-list Hollywood actresses, that’s something to be proud of, right?
I like your blog. I’ve been reading it since last year. I love your opinions because you ain’t a young Lian shooting Lianish vocabs for the sake of acting cute. You’re religious in your ways and preach God’s words without pushing other religions to the longkangs. You made people believe that we are able to love one another unconditionally towards each others without critisizing others religions. Your heart is kind to humankind, but we are not saint, we do have our evil sides when we are mad..and yet, you took the evil sides out from us through you wittiness. Haha!
You have been a great blogger, and I understand how you are feeling right now. You simply can’t fulfilll happiness for all by blogging things that people want to read or you can’t simply make readers happy by blogging for their purposes to what they want to read or make them happy. In the first place, I came to your site, becoz I love reading your thoughts about your life and how cleverly you handle lives with your kids and a toddler around. Take care, and God is with you all the way.
Warmest Regards,
Ling~
Olla from Fairy World! I like to be myself in my blog. That’s why I call it My Fairy-Tale, meaning it’s my own world and my own thoughts and dreams. I admire ur blog and ur opinions too! Ur a strong momma!
Peace and blessings!
Here’s a promise of a reader who will always be here despite whatever you have to say. If one day I find this page consists of things I don’t wish to read, which I of course hope won’t happen, I’ll just quietly go away and not bother you because I’m all for blogging for self. Cheers to 5Xmom.
To me your blog is interesting and you keep ppl aware of certain things. At times, I and Lawrence also read until laugh leh……..
Wah. Long time didn’t come your blog changed so much already. Just keep writing what’s on your mind lar Aunty. They are good reading stuffs. Damn entertaining. Why do you hafta worry what other people say about you. If they don’t like reading what you write, just tell them to fuck far far away lor. And just trash their comments lor.