I was looking at my old blog which has turned into a little golden goose for me which I call Karma Kameleon. It was the very first blog that I created one late night in October 2003. Oh, the excitement of owning a blog back then.
I was only writing for self expression and putting those little thoughts into written words. I am sure all of us think by talking to ourselves? Like for example, if we want to solve a problem, we talk like there are two persons in our head and then, we solve it. Is that how others think? Or am I the only weirdo who actually talks in my head?
There was a lot of freedom then. I just need to type whatever is on my mind and have no fears of any repercussions or getting any snide remarks. No one reads and no one cares. How nice.
Now? I got readers who tell me what to think. Or what not to write. KNN, back then, I thought it will be so cool to have high traffic like my blog sifu. I drooled and dreamed for it. Now, I wish all will just go away and leave me alone.
If I want to say I hate blacks, I also cannot say it. Of course, I am only using this as an example. I don’t hate blacks, or whites or red or yellow. I only hate greens. I am not racist, ok? See, see? Even this needs a whole para to explain myself. You say lah, sienz or not?
How nice to go back to blogging for self. Then, it will go something like this:
KNN, today I went to have lunch at noon and by then, I was so hungry, I almost fainted already because I didn’t take breakfast. So, I was putting this piece of fatty pork into my mouth to chew and this Malay girl came to sell a big book of fairytale. Since I have two little kids with me, it is like having a sign printed on my forehead “HENTAM SAYA, SAYA MEMANG SUCKER FOR THESE.”
So, I shook my head and show my expressionless face while chewing on the fatty pork. But she was one persistent girl and refused to go away. She went on and on…..”Tak mengapa, saya cuma beritahu harga saja. Ini buku Beauty and The Beast,harganya…..” And I wanted to tell her, “Eh, you tengok tak, aku ada anak jantan lah, oi? Nak anak jadi pondan dengar cerita Beasty and the Beast? Aku dok makan babi, jaga paksa aku cakap. Tak senonoh tau, kalau aku sembang dengan hang masa aku dok makan babi. Mak aku ajar dah, jangan makan babi depan orang Muslim. Tak baik, nanti gua mia tokong hentam sebab saya kurang ajar.” So, I just sat there like a moron and retard and just keep chewing on the rubbery skin of the pig, trying to swallow but I couldn’t. And she kept droning on and on and on.
But you see….I cannot write it this way anymore. People will take offence. They will say that I am racist. Or I hate gays. Or say I am a pagan. Or I am a bitch. Or heartless because I don’t entertain street peddlars. Or I am selfish because I refused to fork out RM29.90 to make the girl go away. Or I am not healthy because I eat fatty pork. Or I shouldn’t skip breakfast. Or I should cook at home. Or I have issues against morons. Or I have no sympathy for retards. Or….BLARDY HELL! Who cares what others think lah.
I am going to blog for myself. Then, now and forever. Yay to 5xmom! I speak my mind. And my blogs tell it to the world. Love it or hate it. The choice is yours.
(Awww…..Terence, come back!!!! Don’t boycott my blog. Kehkehkeh)