Ten reasons why UMNO should hire me for their cyberwar

1) Because I am expert in writing about anything if you give me money

2) Because I like to play with snakes, real ones and the two legged ones

3) Because I am nominated for the wolrd Most Obnoxious Blogger (losing only to PerezHilton)

4) Because my rate is not very high – Only a RM six figure income per month will make me happy already. No bungalows, Merc or land required

5) Sebab saya boleh tulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia dan Ingrish.

6) Because I have plenty of time so I am available 24/7

7) Because I can even write when I am shitting using my laptop, which goes well with the topics, don’t you think so

8 ) Because I already confirmed I like pink, just like Puteri UMNO – Hey, get me the Dato’ Seri Rafidah Aziz’s size will do, ok?

9) Because I think Dato’ Hishamuddin is awfully handsome, I really do

10) Because I memang suka cyberwars *put warpaints on face*

Umno is set to do battle in cyberspace ahead of the anticipated general election by assembling a team of writers from every state to counter allegations about the party and its leadership on certain websites.

Umno supreme council member Datuk Azalina Othman Said said she had been recently tasked by party president Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi to take charge of this β€œcyber war.”

(in case you guys do not know, UMNO is a political party, not pronounce as urrrmmm…no but Ahm…NO!)

So, apa maciam, UMNO wants to hire me to be your blogger or not? Serious! I am for hire. I promise to drop all Adsense, PayPerPost and even nuffnang if I am hired.

26 Replies to “Ten reasons why UMNO should hire me for their cyberwar”

  1. Make sure u kasi lecommend Lin Peh also if they ever approch u. Lin Peh no need so many reasons to be their writer. Just one word: CRONY !

  2. Cannot, your writing to “chim” to them. They want someone who can say the “bocor” word.

    FYI , we have high % of MP declare bankruptcy (as recorded inside CTOS ). So you must be bankrupt first to get the AP. :p

  3. aiyo, if really become muslim, lilian cannot eat tua pao, siew bak, char siew & have to wear tudung some more πŸ˜› think 100 times, lilian…

  4. Have you ever wondered why they still use the party’s name in English??!!!! Why they dont use PKMB???? Farnee hor? But all joined and call Barisan Nasi**al and not National Line/Front. Bwahahaha!!!!

    “Saya tak fasih luntun.” Then ppl ask you from which party. “U*NO lah.” What is U*NO? “Tak tahu jawablah, itu luntun lah.” Bwahahaha!!!!

  5. ehon: Pertubuhan Kebangsaan Melayu Bersatu, like in Manchester Bersatu. Bwahahaha!!!

    If I blog, I will definitely get into a lot of trouble. I have a troubled mind (ask Lilian). Bwahaha! *Where’s my prozac/xanax*

    Kenny Ng: Woi! ISA you know ar. Dont pway pway! Bwahaha!!!

  6. terence – OI, when I hire you to reply komens ah? How much per komen? 20 sen can ah?

    wuching – But I dunno Mandarin wor.

    ehon – Terence did have a blog. But he likes the fresh air better than the underground cell, so he no blog anymore lor.

    kenny – I masuk, you oso masuk.

    terence – You never go to your vet to take some new supplies ah?

    sy – Frankly speaking, it is not such a big deal lah. Too bad, no rich Malay Datuks wanna marry me. Otherwise, I also jump ship.

    moo_t – What? Not qualify ah? I thot I am the perfect candidate.

    bryan – If I kahwin some rich latuk liao, donch worry, I sure kasi you shares and AP and maybe your own company in the MSC. You are my webmaster who saved my blog mah…. Hahaha.

    lin peh – Faster faster rub shoulder with me now.

    Ah Pek – Shit in, shit out, no toxic mah.

  7. 7) Because I can even write when I am shitting using my laptop, which goes well with the topics, don’t you think so…
    ….kikiki…

  8. Hi

    Just ‘discovered’ your blog. Nice to find a blog not written by teenybooper but a smart and matured woman (aiseh! :). Anyway, I will have to wait till I moved hse next month and get my own pc before becoming a fathful reader of 5xmom.

  9. dont la be my competition… u already earning so much…. me still slaving here…

    wooaahh… 6 figure income… very demanding leh!

  10. six-figure only??!!! They always spent dunno how much to do useless things, why you only ask for 6-figures? Ask for more lah…At least we know this would be useful mah… πŸ˜‰

  11. what kind of cyberwar they are talking about? you mean ask people to shut up in the cyberspace or ask people not to hack their government server?

  12. lilian, UMNO is watching.. πŸ˜‰

    terrence, if UMNO needs to be named PKBM, then MCA, MIC etc. also have to changed to “Bahasa Malaysia” ie, PCM and KIM, or else they cannot be Malaysians. Like those?

    yes Kenny, you must NEVER object.

    Sy, what’s so bad about becoming a Muslim? please respect others and their beliefs.

    C’mon ehon, chinese also are many in other parties – gerakan, dap and keadilan too. bersatu you said?

    wuching, i’d think umno or related agencies (owned by umno) do hire non-malays. likewise?? (yes, but very rare)

    say, cyberwar now??


    am not an umno guy…

  13. N – Wuah, when I hire you to reply comments ah? πŸ™‚ Chill lah, what my commentors said are their own opinions, you don’t need to rebuke every single one. I can take care of my own blog, ok?

    ‘Teacher’: See? Told you never blog about politikus and religion in this blog.

  14. N- You didnt get my point. My point was as a political party who champions for Malays, why are they still using the party’s name in English. PKMB is their official name in Malay. Did I mention anything on any other political party??? I dont think I did.

    Anyhow, those are just my opinion and were written without prejudice nor any hatred towards any political party whatsoever. Chill man!!

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