*Disclosure : I got no grandmas, really. Cos my paternal one is in Hainan Island and my father and his older brother came to Malaya when they were very young. So, they never really had a photo of what my paternal grandma looked like. My maternal grandma was a rich man daughter who owned the hills in Bayan Lepas but those properties poofed because old great-grandpa was highly superstitious and never do will so the gahmen took it all. Maternal grandma died long long before my mom got kids so we don’t really have the luxury of grandma’s pamperings. But I do look awfully like my maternal grandma, though. Haih….in other words, I look more like Sing-ning (all fair and round) but got Hainanese typhoon for head.*
Anyway, I just recalled a few stuffs they bluffed us kids with like :
1) If you hold your chopsticks at the far end, you will end up marrying someone far, far from your hometown. But grandmas bluff a lot cos I held my in the mid-span and I ended up marrying someone who lived less than 6 KM from my home.
2) If you never eat up every grains of rice on your plate, you will marry a man/woman with faces full of acne scars. But my atm’s face is so smooth and handsome. And he only used Dettol soap to bath and wash his face. Which sidetracked me abit – I wanted to buy pimple cream and face cleanser for my sons and he said, “Lu mien cho wa eh hou seh pien ah pneah” (you don’t make my sons become cookies)
3) If you wash your hair on the first day you have your period, you will get dark circles on your eyes. I washed for like 30 years X 12 months = 360 times and my eyes pun tarak panda eyes.
4) If you drink soup from the ladle (senduk), you will find a husband/wife with mouth as big as the pot. I also do that sometimes. My atm’s mouth also so handsome. Where got goldfish lips?
5) If you pee on the red ants nest on a hot afternoon, your kukubird (penis) will swell and get inflammed. But I got no kukubird to test that theory. Too bad…What wants to try?
So, before we forget what our Chinese grandmas told us kids, please share! I can only recall these few things.