How to go from 0-100 traffic in a one day old blog

I realised. If I keep bitching more and more about politics, soon all the local advertisers are going to pack their bags and run far far to play and tell Boss Stewie, “Taukeh (nuff)nang ah, gua mm mai 5xmom belok. Kia si lang. Wa mm mai chiak kali pui.” (Boss, I don’t want 5xmom blog. Scary to death. Later eat curry rice.)

Anyway, do you guys notice I don’t have local ads but just the tiny button? Know why? ‘Cos my blog is too obnoxious, I got attitude problems, I too lansi (egoistics) and I don’t play 50 sen clicks. So sue me.

So let me share with you how to get traffic. Lots of it for your blog. For if your blog don’t have traffic, you can go ciak sai and don’t bother to put any ads. See? There I go again with my sewer mouth. Sorry-sorry, I promise not to say bad words again. Advertisers, don’t run hor?

First to get traffic, you need a blog.

Then, you need to blog.

After that, you need to read other people’s blog.

And go back and blog.

Simple mah?

Like that also you don’t know meh? And hor, put some catchy titles like “I was cheated by 5xMom“. Wuah, I tell you lah, sure people go in droves to find out what is it about. They will be wondering….”Huh, this time that woman do what to some poor kid already leh?” Never mind that the contents are actually not so gempaq. Biasa ajer lah. Then hor, the Pangsai blog immediately get a 100+ traffic per day. (heh, pressure leh)

And for those of us with much older blogs, remember to see who links to you. Always find out. Make it a habit. Appreciate your links. Say thank you, please.

For example, OMG, I just found out that my kids’ god-father’s daughters…, I mean my kids’ god-sisters have blogs too! But they are my kids’ godsister and not my god-daughters. Complicated hor? That is some Catholic quirky stuffs lah. Anyway, hi to Teressa and Taryn. I know Teressa and Taryn since they were babies! Damn, I am old.

Now, if I count, I think everyone I know, know I blog. My sisters, brothers, nephews and nieces, in-laws nieces and nephews, ex-colleagues, ex-boyfriends (hiaks, joking oni, singular, not plural) and now, Teressa and Taryn. Like this means I must behave liao. *go buy new domain and blog anon. liao*

12 thoughts on “How to go from 0-100 traffic in a one day old blog

  1. *stands up and salutes* Aunty Lilian! Thanks for the mention, yes, been linking you for quite some time already, you’re famous ma, help spread the word of Penang’s famous blogger LoL. better not change your blogstyle, don’t have to behave! haha if you do, this blog will lose its “Original recipe” d haha…keep it up! cheers!

  2. hahaha i like this phrase “… and I don’t play 50 sen click”.

    i tried pay per post but i just couldn’t commit myself to write regularly.

  3. My experience is :-

    If 5xmom talks about you and puts a link to your site from her blog/s, you’ll get more than 100 hits a day!

    Thank you! Thank you!

  4. hijackqueen – Haiyor, that one! Later the nuts all stalk you and give death threat. Like Icyqueen.

    pablo – good or bad, also never mind hor, hehehe

    MG – yakah? Aiyor, tenkiu

    satukuru – Once you got a hang of it, it becomes a routine. Good income from there. Great company too.

    teressa – Yahor, I so kwai-kwai in real person mah hor.

    danny – yakah, like this I must charge like John Chow. Hahaha.

    zewt – Got wor, I thank many times, quote you many times oso liao lor.

  5. Yeah, pablo is right, when you speak about the other blog, the other blog will untung. lol

    Of course it’ll be even more hits if you get angry and bitch about them..

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