Little kids have this uncanny way of dealing with deaths. My four years old somehow seems to understand deaths.

One day, he asked me, “So, who is your mommy?” I told him my mommy is dead. And he went, “Oh!” No more question. He looked like he understood very well.

(above photo is Sir Francis Light’s graveyard, nothing to do with me, just for dramatic effect only)

Today, he lost his milk bottle. That kid is a milk and rice addict. He tried hard to go to sleep without his bottle of milk but kept tossing and turning. He knows I have a lot of milk bottles stored in the cabinet. Those are little milk bottles that I used to store my ebm with.

(ebm = expressed breast milk)

He asked sheepishly….”Mommy…can Vincent kor-kor gives me his bottle?”

(Vincent kor-kor = big brother Vincent, my deceased fourth son)

I replied, “Of course, but those bottles are so old. That’s why I don’t want to use it for you. You cannot sleep without your milk-milk? How about mommy give you the real nen-nen?”

He laughed, “You no milk already! Cannot, later I bite your nen-nen how?”

We had a good laugh and looking at his poor face, I decided to soak one old bottle with hot water and use it temporary for the night.

When I returned from the kitchen with the bottle, he clapped with glee. “Yay! Vincent kor-kor gives me his bottle.”


Midway while he was enjoying his bottle of milk, he stopped and asked, “Mommy, do birds eat butterflies?”

I knew what he was thinking as I had once told him Vincent kor-kor died and is a free spirit now. Sometimes, he is like the butterflies or dragonflies, free to fly around.

(another photo not related to this. Took this photo at the beach on Sunday.)

I assured him, “Hahaha, you mean can the bird eat Vincent kor-kor if he turned into a butterfly, is it? Of course, no. Jesus will protect Vincent kor-kor, don’t worry.”


He asked further, “Is Jesus Vincent kor-kor’s father?”

I was stuck for a while. “No, God is our Father. Jesus is our friend. And Mother Mary is looking after Vincent kor-kor just like how mommy takes care of you, ok? And mommy is still Vincent kor-kor’s mommy and you are his little baby brother.”

Goodness!  Lucky he didn’t ask me to explain the Holy Trinity or else the conversation will never end.

*sigh*   Butterflies are free to fly.