I took off a lot of things on my sidebar last night and decided that it is too bare. So, I installed the Those were the days WordPress plugin to bring random posts from the archives. I had crapped over 2K posts so I myself have forgotten what I wrote in the past.
Then, I stumbled on my drama sungguh post about contemplating to stop blogging. When I look back, things have changed a lot. Back then, there were not many political bloggers. There were lots of copy and paste bloggers. And what stood out then was the elitists. I think many of the new bloggers now do not know what elitist means. Good for you! We used to have a gang of belagak sungguh bloggers who think they rule the Malaysian blogsphere. They will gang up on you and bulldoze you down.
I got it many times. I mean being bulldozed many times. But I am a survivor. Thank goodness elitists do grow old and go die (not physically of course). The blogsphere here is now a much better place because we don’t have that mentality anymore. There are no mobs to group blog and kill you.
Anyway, two years ago, I was torn between my Christian’s self and my blogging self. I had to make a decision whether to pretend living like good Christians or be part of this non-existent and yet, sometimes so real world call the blogsphere. All along my style of blogging never goes well with what is expected of a good Christian. Good Christians don’t criticise, don’t say bad words, don’t scold people, don’t judge yadda yadda yadda, thou who hath no sins…bla bla bla. But I found some very powerful words in the Bible that kicked me forward. Good Christians like what I stereotype rarely make ripples in the ocean. They stood still so they don’t sin. But Jesus said, what good is a lamp when it is put under the bed. So, burn, baby, burn. I am the one who wants to make big waves.
So, I don’t give a damn and just blog away because my heart tells me to. I had my share of bruises and bleeding heart sometimes but if I can reach out to someone in need or touch their lives in some ways, it is worth it.
Exactly on 22nd September 2005, I talked about leaving the blogsphere. Two years later, I am still not any wiser. I still have my blunders, hurt people with my words sometimes and I think I still stay pretty much the same (except I am a lot richer in $$). I am still the one who is never too busy to say welcome to the blogsphere to many new bloggers when I see their link on Technorati.
But I no longer go around reading every blogs and comment on them. If you are in this thing long enough, you will know that many of these social thingies are just superficial, sometimes. Most times. So, frankly, I don’t have any idea why we are still blogging after so many years.
Do you? Those of you who have been around for more than two years, what’s keeps you going?
(another more Yehsou thoughts on my Christian blog)