Mr. Sami Bulu’s very ‘good’ BM (jokes) (aka Samy Vellu quotes)

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Since I am such a patriotic blogger, let me tell you some BM jokes. By the way, the above flowers were taken by my little boy from our gardens when his papa took him swimming at the pool. He brought it back for me, all eager and excited to make me happy because he said, “Mommy, you want to take fawer foto? You say you love fawers mahhh…” So, who has the heart to tell him that it is not alright to pluck them for mommy? Correct or not?

Ok, on with the jokes. I am not sure if you have all read it in email forwards. I have heard it narrated by Martin Jalleh and I almost peed in my pants because he really sounded like Mr. Bulu. However, this is the first time I got the email forward. My son’s friend sent it to him and he forward it to me.

———————————
Subject: Favorite Quote from Mr Sammy Blue (name changed, obviously, hereinafter shall be referred as SB or sami bulu)

1) On Pos Laju

“BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI”

2) The one on TV when in trying to say he was ashamed,
he said:`Kemaluan saya besar` (kemaluan means your private parts, lah! )

3) On drugs, “Jangan hisap dada” (dada means nen-nen)

4) SB said in a ceramah “Kita akan bina satu
jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini”, one pakcik
asked, “Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina
jambatan?” and SB glorious replied,”Kalau takde
sungai, kita bina sungai!”

5) SB’s favorite quote on national television “Toll
naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini
toll saya punya bapa punya kah!”

6) During the water shortage crisis : “semua orang
diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!” (membuang air means to wee-wee, what he wanted to say was membazir air)

7) During blood donation campaign in Sg Siput:
“..marilah kita semua menderma dara..” (dara = virgin)

8 ) During the opening speech of various function:
“…selamat datang saudara-mara semua..” (actually is
“saudara-saudari”)

9) At an opening ceremony: “mempersilakan datin paduka
rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain” (this one is famous already)

10)Commenting about his modesty: “sebenarnya, kemaluan
saya sangat-sangat besar”

And lastly u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire
is named PLUS.

PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk SB

Anyway…..I didn’t want to blog about this. But when I look at the whole building that costs millions collapsed like a pack of cards, and all he can say is :

Nation
Thursday November 15, 2007

Samy shocked, wants answers

KUALA LUMPUR: The collapse of a two-storey building on a hillslope at the edge of Tasik Banding in Gerik, Perak, has Works Minister Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu reeling with disbelief.

“I am shocked and I want answers,” said a furious Samy Vellu, who called for action to be taken against the contractor if it was found that structural failure caused the collapse.

It was fortunate that no one was hurt “but there must be some action,” he said.

I guess, I will die of PMS if I keep quiet. Hello…Mr. Sammy Blue, the only action we rakyat want is to change the top people lah. Those are taxpayers money we are talking about. OUR money, you know?

So, folks, if you have never heard of these famous quotes by Mr. Blue, please forward it to your friends.

Added : When you are done laughing, please go to MageP’s blog and watch the videos he posted. Malik’s expression is priceless.

Somemore added : My SEO skill still rulez! PR5 or PR tel0r, I am number one!

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18 Replies to “Mr. Sami Bulu’s very ‘good’ BM (jokes) (aka Samy Vellu quotes)”

  1. there’s another comment from him on our angkasawan
    dont exactly remember how he said it but something like this

    “saya syukur selepas 10 hari angkasawan kita meninggal dunia, dia telah selamat di ke bumi”

  2. Hahaaha… I just remembered one joke about the astronaut. (fictional)

    After our Maraysian astronaut, went to the moon, Mr SB called for a press conference.

    Reporter: Mr SB, now that we have sent our astronaut to the moon, what is your next plan?

    Mr SB: We will send our astronaut to the sun!!!

    Reporter: ???? But how is that possible? Wouldn’t it be very hot?

    Mr SB: We will go at night!!

    HAHAAAA.. 😆

  3. regarding the news, the building was built in 2004, 2007 still not used. WHY-lar Mr AAB. Got build anything else or not but not used…

  4. rizlan – I think he just hopes for another bigger goof-up to cover-up this. You know lah, bridge patah, tunggu bumbung bocor, bumbung bocor, tunggu paip pecah. Lama-lama, kita pun dah biasaaaaa dahhhhhh.

  5. hahah… i practically can laugh till my eyeballs pop from their socket while choking on my saliva…. AWESOME JOKES@ anymore? these are hell good. cant wait for another of hairy monk’s speeches. i think i should be there in person next time. so that i could record it and post it or something.. wahhaha.

  6. Sammy Blue you just to to helllah.. We no need you d… You just make us worst…Malaysia indians will be better without you coz you are sucking our money and make yourself richer.The history will remember you as the most worst coppruted Minister in malaysia….

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