I know of a few bloggers whom had managed to mindfark me because they insisted they are younger than me by several years. It is not just 2-3 years younger but 6-7 years younger.
You know why I get mindfarked and totally cuntfused? Because when I talk to them, I felt either :
a) During a huge chunk of my life, I was in comatose
Why? You see, I grew up in the era when U2, Simply Red, Bruce Springsteen, Annie Lennox were hot. And yet, when I talk to them, they are telling me singers name which I cannot connect at all. I felt like, hey, those were singers when I was really a leeetle girl, how can you be younger than me and yet, you know so much about them?
b) I was slow in producing kids
If say they are younger than me by 6-7 years, then, I wonder how can their children be older than my eldest son who is going to be 18 years old on his next birthday. I was like WTF, your kids are in their 20s and you can still be younger than me? Did your start farking at 14 years old or what?
c) We live in two different countries
My dear hubby is four years older than me. The other day, we were looking at my eldest son’s SPM’s papers and it is in English. And I have problem understanding Add Maths in English. When I studied, it was in BM because I was the first batch to study Sains in Bahasa Malaysia. The only English subject I study in school is English. But all those group of silais who claim they are younger than me keep showing how good their English are and I was like, dei, apasal your BM not terror like me? And how come your English command is better than me? Conclusion – They had to be older than me!
When I was working, our office has this huge, big and very insecure woman whom I shall call her Miss Ooi. She wanted to hide her age and tried to hide her past. We knew that she was married and divorced and had a kid. No big deal, right? But she insisted she is not married, no kid and if given the chance, claim she is a virgin too. When we talk about childbirths, she would butt in and asked, “Is it painful to have a baby?” We gave her the WTF look. We know how insecure she is so we just keep quite and avoid mixing with her.
Then, she was so, so, so afraid of people seeing her IC. At one time, when we were doing the employees ID card, I got hold of the list. I knew her age. (but I didn’t tell) And she hated me so much, she wouldn’t ride in the same lift as me. You see insecure people have very wild imaginations and think I probably spread to the whole world. She would walk away at the mention of my name. And I so enjoy making people lives miserable ‘cos they asked for it!
So, to all the women who keep lying about their age, I got a very good advice. Tell people lah, makes no difference wan. They don’t fark care wan. Your screwable age over long long time ago. You are already so fugly, 38 years old or 44 years old, you still have a purpose to be around. To increase the sales of….v i a g r a!!!! Muahahaha….And all those lies need 1000x of lies to cover them and it will give you more wrinkle.
Yay! I got my aura back. Correct or not?