*sobs* This time next week, I am going to be in prison. Well, sort of. I signed up for a weekend
brainwashing lector formation by Martin Jalleh. It will be the first time in decades that I actually go anywhere alone, spend a night without my hubby and kids. DECADES!
Though I always imagine going off to Hawaii or one of those hedonism resorts (nudist camp lah) with a few girlfriends and bring some Spanish toyboys along, now I think it is not so fun already. Oh well, we wrote a lot of paid posts on Hawaii and exotic resorts so when we ran out of things to crap, we normally bluff our ways through by imagination. Gee, I miss LL.
I am like at the bottom rung of the ladder when it comes to lectoring so I forced myself to sign up, pay RM100, close my eyes and hope to go through two days of intense
brainwashing motivating course. Not only that, I will be without my laptop and sleeping with three other strangers. I opted for quadruple room instead of twin ‘cos I guess the three of them can chat together while I quietly escape and surf with my Sony Ericsson P1i smartphone with unlimited Celcom broadband.
Serious shit! I have never slept with strangers in the same room before! I normally get a single room when I was on working trip.
Talking about lectoring….In case you do not know what is lectoring, it is reading the Bible during our mass. It is one freaky experience, always. That’s why I like it. The adrenalin pumping till it oozes out of my skin. And when I didn’t screw up my diction, pronunciation and etc etc bla bla bla, I know there is Jesus giving me that big dose of help.
This morning, I have the 7 am mass duty. Yesterday evening, I was also in church because I have the overhead projector duty. So, thank God, I knew since last evening that the lectern’s microphone is rosak (something wrong) and the lector will need to read from the altar where the priest stands. *sweats* I spend the night syncing myself not to freak out.
Thank God I also notice since yesterday evening that the second reading is not what I have practised. Otherwise, this morning, I sure pee in my pants if I have to go to the huge altar, use a different mic and read something that I have never seen or practice before. Anyway, I took the easy way out and asked Father Fabian before the mass if I have to read the long version. He said it is up to me. Phew….
Anyway….these vegetarian diet consisting of lots of vegetables have got me running to the loo several times a day. It is not a real toilet-run but rather too much fibre and my body is doing its own detox, I guess. I am so comfy with it now. Last night, while I was having dinner outside, I suddenly remember my toilet run in the middle of eating and told my #2, “You know hor…eating vegetarian meals makes my shits don’t stink. You should try it. I mean vege fasting, not my shits.”
Officially, Chinese New Year is over for me. Enough of cookies, gassy drinks and food.