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Story of the black, hairy lanchiu and why women must learn to lemak

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, in 5xmom’s home…..

5xmom : Yerrr….dear, your lanjiu so black wan, hairy somemore.

Atm : Where got lah. Like dis nicer.

5xmom : Aiyerrr…I don’t want to touch it. The skin so tough. Ewws…I don’t want to play already.

Atm : Apalah, like dis better, trust me. I know….

5xmom : Uwekk…I am not going to touch your lanjiu anymore. Gerrrrliii….How to eat lah.

Atm : Come lah, where skin so tough? Gimme the kitchen scissor…..

And so….he proceeds to take over the task from 5xmom…..

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My darling husband went and bought a bunch of bananas lah! Tiu. Lan = rotten, jiu = Bananas. Rotten bananas, not lanjiao lah. What were you thinking lah!

lanjiu

A couple of the bananas skin have turned black because I placed my hot wok near it earlier.

bananas with rock sugar

The insides of the bananas were still fine but with those black skin, I imagined worms crawling inside. But after inspection by atm, all of them were ok. I cooked the bananas with rock sugar.

pengat

And made the bestest pengat with it. It was supposed to be cook for Chap Goh Meh but my sister brought some for me. So, I postpone the pengat cooking project to Sunday.

Moral of the story : Women must learn to lemak and teh. Secret to happy marriage.

I cannot find the English explanation for lemak and teh. Who can explains what is lemak and what is teh? Lemak + teh = Hiao?




16 Responses to “Story of the black, hairy lanchiu and why women must learn to lemak”

  1. Lemak + Teh = ????
    I also dunno what are they…
    Clue please….
    🙂

  2. Ermmm…. lemak + teh = ‘twist/wrap someone round your little finger?’ English equivalent meaning to be able to persuade someone to do anything you want, usually because they like you so much.
    Don’t sound very shiok lah.. still like lemak + teh + or lor! Hahahaha…

  3. for a moment I thought 5xmom has lost it!

  4. lol..i thought wat happen wo..make me suspense oni..lol..

  5. Lemak=creamy, teh=tea. Lilian=siao *cabut*

  6. Lemak is fat lah, terence! :p

  7. Bryan- You cannot say a woman is fat lah. Why you say Lilian fat! ;p Lemak is creamy.

  8. Knew it from beginning that it’s gonna be a rotten banana! No fun wan!

  9. wahahahhahahha

    i once bit into a bananna, and saw worms..whole load of worms squirming inside…from then on..i check every bananna i eat..scaryy!!

    ooO!! looks yummy! i wann eattt!!!!

  10. Lemak + teh ……… itchified bitch ????
    Bitch on heat !!!!
    CORRECT, CORRECT, KOREK

  11. hey 5xmom! I was wondering if you could share the recipe for your very delicious looking pengat? would be very grateful 🙂

  12. william – Cilaka not so jialat lah. Only angmohs bcome likedat. Hahaha. That’s why a lot of angmohs like Asian wives.

    huei – Yalor, those pisang emas especially got worms wan. If you see little brown dots on the skin means got worms liao. My pengat super lemak wan.

    alex – Chey, pretend laugh mah.

    terence – Cilaka, Bryan never say me fat. He says Terence fat. Hor, Bryan?

    sue me – True story mah…the pisang dunno why so much fibres looks like worms like that. I had to stare real hard to see those bulu-bulu moves or not, you know. LOL.

    wuching – Ya, traffic whore wanna more traffic mah.

    corren – Yes, that’s one description. You notice hor, angmoh women dunno how to teh and lemak cos they don’t have the words to describe it. That’s why they dun orrlorr.

    agnes – What clue ah?

  13. Haha! This is so funny! At 1st I thought 5xmom so geng dare post this kind of things. But then…LOL!!!!

    Good one! Really made my day.

  14. lol. nice one..

  15. “aiyo! lei kam-lam the lan jiu ar?” (you flatten the spoiled bananas?)…hahaha!

  16. kahkahkah…i thought 5xmom wanna beat Edison chen…… last saturday, i peeled 1 pink karer dragon fruit & saw white worms squirming, eeeww….immediately throw away the rotten part & slice, give to my sis-in-law to eat. hahaha…bis.