Few nights ago, I was sitting down at the bench by the playground in Tesco. My 12 years old have gone in with my 5 years old. That means I can just sit down, shut down and do whatever I want. Like, digging my nose, roll the green booger and flick it. Or take out my Sony Ericsson P1i and check which morons have littered on my blog while I was out shopping.

Suddenly, the conversation on the next bench gets hotter.

AA – My ‘lau eh’ (husband) ‘ai cheng’ (lover) keep calling him even after we were just married. He told her he is not free anymore but she keeps calling. Even now, every Chinese New Year, she will call my lou-eh.

AB – Wah…you are not jealous?

AA – Hrmmmpph…what jealous. Scared I don’t have my own lou-ai-cheng meh?

Wuah…by then, I faster exit my Opera Mini browser, keep my Sony P1i and pretended to stand up to check on my kids. This way, I can stand up, pretend to turn my head 180 deg and check out who is AA and AB.

Auntie A is about 50+, nails ‘nicely’ decorated with deep red and white flowers. Huge sparkling bag. Toe nails also sharp and pointy. Shoes, blouse, hair pins and everything about her are sparkling.

Auntie B is maybe older and dodgier.

And I went, oh my goat!!!! serious? Wuah, your lou-eh certainly is not some Datuk wei. Not to say that I am snobbish but Datin doesn’t carry those huge, pasar malam bag wan…..

They were still in animated talk. And AB asked AA where the woman works.

AA – Coal story (that’s exactly how it is pronounced)

AB – Hamik coal stoli?

AA – Nay…the one selling frozen foods, supermarket in town?

AB – Oh….coal stoli …… Cho hamik kang eh? Promoter?

(Haiyor, Cold Storage lah! One of Penang most expensive supermarket)

AA – *in darn proud tone* No!!!!! She working as meliya. Big post (meliya = manager)

AB – Wuah, your husband must be handsome.

AA – Aiyar….no lah…..this woman just cannot forget him only.

(of course, all the above conversations were in Hokkien)

And there I was….feeling like taking a video of AA boasting about her husband’s lover. But no, that’s very immoral. Breaching other people’s privacy, right? Eavesdropping also bad, ok?

But I know we do that sometimes. Who ask them to talk so loud ah? Eavesdropping – Do you?