Hubby just returned from hospital and told me his bro-in-law has signed the consent form to get one of his kidney removed by surgery. He has gone for radiotherapy to stop the bleeding but failed. If he bleeds further, he may be too week to undergo any surgery. So, the doctor has booked the O.T. and ICU and they are just waiting for a schedule. It can be today or tomorrow.

In as much as the surgery sounds positive, we know it is highly risky because this is a major surgery. It is not as simple as open up, take out the kidney and stitch him back. The cancer has spread to the liver but the active cancer cells are in the kidney.

Someone wrote to me (Beth) about something. Thanks a lot, Beth but unfortunately, I dare not even pray for him openly. If anything happens, the repercussion is great. The blame will fall on me. So, I will just quietly, discreetly pray that he will be fine. I hope all of you will also lift him up in your prayers.

This morning I went to buy a packet of alphabet pasta which is very tiny pasta meant for toddlers. I blended the boiled vege like preparing baby’s food. I feel so blessed that I at least get to do something for him. I lovingly cut a piece of onion, a pip of garlic, one button mushroom, one floret of brocolli, five leaves of spinach, a tiny piece of potato and a few slices of fish. It is really a chore, I admit it. But I am lucky that I get to ‘chore’ it. When he is well, I know I had helped. If not, I know I had tried.

But on the other hand, I am very disappointed that both his children aren’t back yet. One will be back end of the month and the other, no indication yet. I want to be angry with them but what’s the point? It won’t bring them back fast enough to see their father wheeled into OT.

I don’t know lah…it is really none of my business but being involved with them for so long, I still feel utterly pissed. I can’t reveal all but I hope in future, if I am in such a situation, not knowing what will happen the next day, I want to see my own kids first. I don’t care what’s the price. (anyway, one day if they should stumbled upon this post and feel angry with me, I am going to tell them, it is none of your business how I feel. You are not in control of how I think and feel about you and if I had written anything embarrassing about you, too bad…Your auntie is a blogger, live with it.)

Anyway….I hope he sails through surgery, get his liver cancer cells zapped by radiotherapy and fight against the odds. The cancer is a stage 3. And we know that is bad news, no matter how positive we try to think.

Now, for something lighter…many days ago, when I just started preparing his drinks and meals, I would mumbled in the kitchen, “God bless the lalang I brew” (lalang – some kind of pak chi chou), “God bless the soup I cook” and my son said, “Ma…you siao or what lah? Think God so free ah?”

I told him, “If not how wor, later, your IBS auntie (who is super kuat complain) say this wrong, that wrong. I nervous you know…later eat already, lau sai, I mampus wei. So help me God.”

I am going to prepare another meal for dinner tonight and hope he gets to eat it before his surgery. The nurses haven’t put a Fasting order yet so I guess it will be more than 12 hours before surgery. I hope this will be one of the many meals I have to ‘chore’ it. Or….

Oh yeah, earlier when hubby came back and told me about the surgery, I went….. “Surgery! Remove kidney? Like this I must go church pray pray and tell Mother Mary to help pray liao. But now afternoon, church deserted, I dare not go alone. You follow me? ”

He said, ” Kenot…..Thomas cup live telecast.”

Men. *roll eyes*