It’s removal of the kidney now (radical nephrectomy)

Hubby just returned from hospital and told me his bro-in-law has signed the consent form to get one of his kidney removed by surgery. He has gone for radiotherapy to stop the bleeding but failed. If he bleeds further, he may be too week to undergo any surgery. So, the doctor has booked the O.T. and ICU and they are just waiting for a schedule. It can be today or tomorrow.

In as much as the surgery sounds positive, we know it is highly risky because this is a major surgery. It is not as simple as open up, take out the kidney and stitch him back. The cancer has spread to the liver but the active cancer cells are in the kidney.

Someone wrote to me (Beth) about something. Thanks a lot, Beth but unfortunately, I dare not even pray for him openly. If anything happens, the repercussion is great. The blame will fall on me. So, I will just quietly, discreetly pray that he will be fine. I hope all of you will also lift him up in your prayers.

This morning I went to buy a packet of alphabet pasta which is very tiny pasta meant for toddlers. I blended the boiled vege like preparing baby’s food. I feel so blessed that I at least get to do something for him. I lovingly cut a piece of onion, a pip of garlic, one button mushroom, one floret of brocolli, five leaves of spinach, a tiny piece of potato and a few slices of fish. It is really a chore, I admit it. But I am lucky that I get to ‘chore’ it. When he is well, I know I had helped. If not, I know I had tried.

But on the other hand, I am very disappointed that both his children aren’t back yet. One will be back end of the month and the other, no indication yet. I want to be angry with them but what’s the point? It won’t bring them back fast enough to see their father wheeled into OT.

I don’t know lah…it is really none of my business but being involved with them for so long, I still feel utterly pissed. I can’t reveal all but I hope in future, if I am in such a situation, not knowing what will happen the next day, I want to see my own kids first. I don’t care what’s the price. (anyway, one day if they should stumbled upon this post and feel angry with me, I am going to tell them, it is none of your business how I feel. You are not in control of how I think and feel about you and if I had written anything embarrassing about you, too bad…Your auntie is a blogger, live with it.)

Anyway….I hope he sails through surgery, get his liver cancer cells zapped by radiotherapy and fight against the odds. The cancer is a stage 3. And we know that is bad news, no matter how positive we try to think.

Now, for something lighter…many days ago, when I just started preparing his drinks and meals, I would mumbled in the kitchen, “God bless the lalang I brew” (lalang – some kind of pak chi chou), “God bless the soup I cook” and my son said, “Ma…you siao or what lah? Think God so free ah?”

I told him, “If not how wor, later, your IBS auntie (who is super kuat complain) say this wrong, that wrong. I nervous you know…later eat already, lau sai, I mampus wei. So help me God.”

I am going to prepare another meal for dinner tonight and hope he gets to eat it before his surgery. The nurses haven’t put a Fasting order yet so I guess it will be more than 12 hours before surgery. I hope this will be one of the many meals I have to ‘chore’ it. Or….

Oh yeah, earlier when hubby came back and told me about the surgery, I went….. “Surgery! Remove kidney? Like this I must go church pray pray and tell Mother Mary to help pray liao. But now afternoon, church deserted, I dare not go alone. You follow me? ”

He said, ” Kenot…..Thomas cup live telecast.”

Men. *roll eyes*

22 thoughts on “It’s removal of the kidney now (radical nephrectomy)

  1. I’m not a religious kinda person, but I hope your hubby’s bro-in-law pulls through on the surgery, and recovers well.

    Btw, Lilian, dun say the word lau sai before, while or after cooking; can say after its consumed though. Dunno how salty the word is ma. Suddenly really happen how? Choi choi choi! ehehhe

    Geralds last blog post..Firefly or Too-tired to fly

  2. Don’t know him doesn’t matter.
    You 5XMom-Lilian are a super-hearted person and you have my respect. I’ll also say a prayer for him.

  3. Will pray for you relative for a successful surgery. Eventhough it hard for us to think positive about it, miracle can happend. So hopefully God will help him pulls through the surgery.

    kaDusMamas last blog post..Awkward moment

  4. Hi Lilian,
    I’ve been a silent reader of your site which i enjoy a great deal. Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. In times like these, we sure would like to get as much help as possible. Prayers are great. But did you know that lemongrass is great for fighting cancer? Just google it. Israel medical is recommending this for their cancer patients.
    God speed.

  5. Just do what you do best and continue to pray silently and cook with love. I’m not a religous person but I will keep him in my thoughts and pray for him too.

    mumsgathers last blog post..My piano lessons

  6. I normally do not know what to say in situations like this… šŸ˜³ so, I’ll just pray for your bro-in-law that he won’t suffer.
    Here’s a suggestion, remember to get organic vegetables, especially broccoli, to cook for him. Those are more healthy, without all the toxic pesticides. You can get really nice, fresh organic vegs from Jaya Jusco in Queensbay.

  7. When my dad went for his chemo , he needed to have his red blood count elevated.. I would chop up a beef roast ans put into pressure cooker/ or slow cooker to extract the ‘jus’ and he could easily drink that.
    Will pray for your BIL . I hope the kids will come back , I know it will haunt me to the end of my life if I hadnt done that. But then much depends on the person and how much you can live with it.

  8. I am sorry to hear this. how strong is he at the moment? i guess the surgery is palliative to stop the bleeding and d regular transfusions.
    lilian, if u don mind me asking, may i ask how long has he got to live? or expected to stay alive. i just dont know how else i can rephrase the question. the reason is that if he has days or even weeks to live, a selective embolisation may be a less painful option, tht’s to block off the offending vessels tht are causing the bleeding.
    well, there are basically 2 types of ppl when it boils down to it when death is inevitable. One is to fight till the end and try whatever means and ways (chinese, western medicine, surgery, alternative medicine, change religion etc etc) even to the point of exhausting all the energy/time/money just to extend even 1 day longer to live. The other is to accept it and made each and everyday of his remaining life meaningful and worthwhile while allowing the nature takes its own course,
    sometime, u hear ppl say that so and so got better after eating the jinseng capsules… or healed after drinking the juice of certain vegetation or even raised fr the death after he convert his religion. IMO, this only creates false hope and unrealistic longing of miracle. Each individual case is different and the ordinary ppl do not and can not be expected to know the difference. Most advices however are good intention, so i just keep my mouth shut when i hear them.
    Many deaths occur in hospital daily, but so as many new lives begin fr the same place.

  9. JT – Did you prepare breakfast in bed for your MIL on Mother’s Day? :mrgreen:

    The original plan was the embolisation in private hospital. But they insisted to ward in GH which doesnt have intervention oncologist.

    In GH, they give pallitive care with radiotherapy. 3 days already, still bleeding. So, they go for removal.

    The frustration is sometimes, I know so much and yet, can do nothing cos that’s their choice. Only two hospitals can do embolisation and it costs only RM5K but…oh well, like I said, they chose GH.

    Right now, if the patient is in depression, it is hard to summon the will to fight.

  10. Thanks to the rest for all the wishes and prayers.

    Foong – Nice of you to offer cos in town, lansung no organic vege. Never mind, if I need you I shout loud loud.

    romantic – They say beef toxic, pork toxic, chicken toxic, fishes without scales toxic :mrgreen: In the end, I also nervous and stick strictly to what the other sibling gives me to cook. If not they kena infection, I kena blame wei. šŸ˜†

  11. breakfast in bed for MIL?


    no lah, don make me mo kui chang lah. we went out for meal tht’s all.

  12. My prayers and hope he will pulled through … Never easy as I felt the pain too when mom was hospitalised for nearly 6 months.It was mental,physical and also monetary taxing for us all.My sincere prayers and best wishes.Congrats to Team Msia in Thomas/Uber Cup even though we are out.Not like NO Sportsmanship KOREA a disgrace to Badminton!

  13. Dear Lilian,

    in the past 3 years, i’ve lost 3 ppl to cancer, 2 colleague (1 liver cancer & the other lung cancer) & my uncle (liver cancer) late last month.

    my colleague with liver cancer, discovered it at an early stage. i’m not too sure of the details, but he choose not to fight the cancer.. some said that he lost hope/faith & died without a fight.

    2nd colleague, lost the battle on 19 Nov 2007. she survived nose cancer at age 19, met a wonderful man, had 2 beautiful princesses & succummed to lung cancer 2 decades later. she fought for a year. constant pain, constant pain killers… not a easy meeting her every morning & trying to pretend that everything was alright.

    my uncle found out he has terminal liver cancer, just b4 CNY 2008. He didn’t even has a chance to fight. he left on 21 Apr 2008.

    All three of them were in immensed pain on their final days… as much as we miss them, it was also hard to see them suffer. when they left, we felt as if a huge stone had been lifted off our chest. it was such a relieve that they do not have to endure the pain anymore.

    So Lilian, i don’t mean to be cruel, if there’s no hope at all to recover, my advice is to release him to the Lord. the friend who died of lung cancer, was kept alive by her faith b’cos her younger girl just couldn’t let go of her mommy…. when her girl finally did, mommy left with a smile…

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