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The person-less person

*another women only thoughts*

I coined this person-less image yesterday while I was crapping about some other things. It is a nice description. Maybe there are many experts and authors who have written volumes of books on this but still, it is worth pondering over.

You know, when you attend a church, you are looking at a community of people. The beautiful thing is this community normally grow older, change but they go back to the same place. So, you can see their progress. For example, the babies in our arms are now the boisterous kids terrorising the empty stage and soon, they will be the vibrant youths, then married adults and eventually old men/women.

I am the adorable little woman who has adoring aunties in their 60s, 70s and 80s who adore me. I cannot help it because I am that loveable. Hahaha. So, sometimes, I sat there at a corner and I see all the women……It is like seeing your life played out in front of you. I am not sure what other people go to church for but I go to church and get all these ideas back.

I am looking at some pretty lonely, sad women. Then, there are those who are feisty and they dressed to the hilt. I am blessed I have one personal guide who is twice my age and she taught me a lot of kick-ass ideas on living. I love you, Auntie S! Sometimes, the women in their 60s look a lot older than those in their 70s and 80s.

For a women, that is a scary thought, eh? You could lose 20 years of your life if you don’t take care of yourself. By taking care, I am not talking about the trucks of ICI paint and cement to pour on your face or the tempe and botox you can afford. It is much more than that.

That’s where this person-less person comes in. I notice many women bloggers are so focussed on their little kids. It is a bore reading mommies’ blogs, really. They are going to hate me for saying this but I am saying it anyway. No doubt their blogs do not represent their complete life, it is still a big chunk of life they put on there.

It is rather dangerous for us women to slip into this person-less person role. You know what is that? If you strip away your role as a mother, wife, daughter, worker and maybe community member, you are nobody. Many years from now, you will probably realised that there is no soul left in that body of yours.

When let’s say your husband has passed on or found a China doll, your kids have lives of their own and you are retired, you will be left with nothing. Zilch. Nothing. Zero. Kosong. Kaynui. I know I don’t want to be like that. That’s why I have so much fire in me to cuss when I feel like it, I criticise when my instinct bugs me, I scold when I am angry, I praise God when I feel blessed, I don’t give a fuck when I know I am not perfect and I am just being me.

The me when I was 17 or 27 or 37 or 47 or even 87. I want to make sure that 10 years from now or even 40 years from now, I still make silly demands or cuss under my breath. BTW, last night, I whispered to my 16 yrs old kid, “Hey come here, you see that lau yee over there? Kaninehmacibai, you know what she asked me once? She asked me if Matthew is my grandson! I tell you, I feel like asking her if she got a mirror. She is freaking old and she thought I am as old as her ‘cos her grand kid is the same age as Matthew. Arrggghh….I hate her, let’s burn her unit down.”

Then, later on, in McDonald’s play area, there was this obese, annoying kid who keeps tripping my little boy. He openly kicked Matthew several times. The mother was sitting there telling him off in the kind of half-hearted way. So, I called my 12 years old, and whispered, “Come here, secretly tell Matthew if the fat kid trip him one more time, ask Matthew to kick his fat ass.” Yayaya, I know it is bad moral to teach your kid to hit back. But I have a house rules for all my sons. They can hit back if someone is larger or male hit them first. It is only hands off on girls or anyone smaller in size or anyone’s groin. It works, so far. Life is like that. Don’t get short changed.

At the end of it, if St. Peter stop my visa and tell me, I took the wrong train, so be it. I had tried.

P/S : My hubby just told me that my relative’s kidney has stopped bleeding. I told hubby, “I am going to claim some credit for this positive sign. My Jesus and His shadow kungfu really super cun, ok?”

Lastly, I think this is the most wonderful peace I have discovered in a long time. Peace is bullshit until you stop seeking it. It is as simple as leaving your hangups and be true to yourself in a kosher way. So, women, remember to stay rooted to your individualism and never give all away because at the end of it, it is too late when you discovered you have nothing left.

Damn…am I good or what?




11 Responses to “The person-less person”

  1. When i brought my son to McD playground last time, there was this girl aged maybe 2 years old bullying my son. Took her slippers and want to whack my son. I didn’t have the heart to scold the small girl, so i just wait for my son next action. What he did? He just avoid the girl and play happily with other kids. But the garang little girl still chased after my son and wanted to whack him…Kesian my son, i always told him not to fight back if somebody disturb him…now have to teach him how to defend himself already lah..later always kena bully..lagi kesian..

    kaDusMamas last blog post..Inesha miss Isaac

  2. kadusmama – Yalor, I don’t know wth other parents teach their kids lah. All so violent wan. So, if we don’t give some defensive tactics, the poor kid sure kena bully like hell in kindie. Later on, I told my kid, next time if people do you like this, they kick you, you kick back, they hit you again, you fast fast cry loud loud and tell teacher if mommy is not around ok? Teruk lah, I know it is wrong but then, how are we going to expect our kids to stand up for their rights, correct?

  3. This is wat i tell my son to do. Hold the arms out and shout NO then lari kuat kuat cari emak. Bullies are quite coward one.. one fatty got a shock with the loud NO. By the time he overcome his dumnbness, my son cabut oredi lor.And the NO also men-sia-suey-kan the makbapak setan.

    Kis last blog post..Ah Boy can be a salesman

  4. No one messes with my baby when they see me. 😎 and its a GLOCK not goblok!!! Niamah!!

  5. terence – Heh, I made you tiu until now leh? Niamah, the post lari topic liao. I shouldn’t have given so many bad but good examples on how to be a bad but good mother/parent, hor?

    ki – No shiok wor, must piak back baru stim. Hahaha, don’t follow my example. But if the parents don’t see, I normally give those kiddoes some killer stares if they misbehave. That’s why I dare not volunteer to take care of kids in Sunday classes. I don’t like kids, only my own.

  6. Wah…lilian,,,,so garang wan ah….But in a way, u have to teach ue children to defend them selves. I salute! ❗

    Jarods last blog post..Mourning for victims of Natural Disaster

  7. Ya!! Ya..i sokong you..so far i only teach my son to tell the teacher on her face, if she ever pukul or jentik him, tell teacher it is wrong for her to hit small kids like him. Hehehe and he did tell the teacher exactly what i’ve told him to do so..
    Next time have to teach him to cry loud..loud if any kids bully him lah..i like this method better..

    kaDusMamas last blog post..Your beauty worth USD$10,000??

  8. ooOoo.. a lot of parenting guide here. Yeah… I’ve always wondered what to do with bullies. Now I know! Scare them back! Hahaha…
    I wish I had known this when I was in primary school though. In my class, there was this HUGE girl who sat next to me and pinched me everyday. 🙁 Now if I see her, I’ll kick her butt! 5xmom style! 😀

    correns last blog post..Withdrawal Syndrome

  9. terence,
    even flashing a imitation Glock can cost u to makan curry rice oh… worse.. po-lice wil shoot then ask.
    i cant be around all the time, when my char bo kia reaches 5yo, i will send her to karate class. self defense and discipline all roll into me, i senang lah. she can even use me as a sandbag. my style of father-daughter bonding exercise.

  10. Maybe we should teach “ATTACK as the BEST DEFENCE” to the kids so that they become so notoriously feared that no one dares to even go near them…hahaha! 😆 Juz kidding nia! Please don’t take this seriously.
    To me, instead of teaching kids to blindly react in retaliation, the lessons should focus on their courage to stand up and fight for their rights & justice… to have no fear of anyone (peers as well as teachers) if they believe that they are doing something RIGHT or have done no wrong!

    9pek9bos last blog post..Now..the Fathers on SexEdu K’shen (updated version)

  11. hey kadusmama…ha ha ha i hope its not my doughter that you ere talking about…shes a bully! she is small petite and skinny…but she whack anyone out of her way!…kinda early to show her feminine side is it?…anyway sorry if its her who whack your son.