Fuyoh, phew…

Came back, plonked on sofa, next to #2, my substitute confidante.

5xmom : Wei, wei, listen to me. Just now hor, I asked permission to say a little prayer lah. So, I pun sit by the bedside and pray Our Father, say some rosary and ask Jesus for some favours lah. That time only your papa and auntie around.

#2 : ……..

5xmom : He was sleeping lah, due to the morphine effect. Manatau, later on, he woke up. And the son and girlfriend and your #3 uncle came back. So, he was in pain lah.

#2 : ……..

5xmom : And then hor, your aunt said he refused to eat the whole day. So, the doctor is about to give him a feeding tube. So, I thought I am going to give the final push to plead with him to at least drink a bit of water. So, I pun sat on the bedside and explained to him about nutrition, how water can refresh him, etc etc.

#2 : ………………………

5xmom : And then hor, he pun half listened. I told him, we know he very, very uncomfortable etc etc. And then hor, you know what happened? He went into breathing difficulties due to the pain lah. And then hor, I placed my hand on his chest to give him some soothing rub. And then hor, he stopped breathing for a while.

#2 : ……………..

5xmom : Oh my GOD! You know ah, I never pray to lift his pains away. Jialat lor, for a second, I thought habis already. Miscommunication with Jesus or what. I only ask the Lord to give him comfort, not to take it away! Oh my GOD! At least, not so cun lah. Gimme a break. You know how tension it is ah? Lucky he was back to normal. And after that, he drank a bit of water.

Fuyoh. Phew……
*wipe cold sweats*

And just to recall a bit. Back in the car, my hubby and I were joking. Hubby too noticed the long lapse of him not breathing.

I told him, life is meaningless if we don’t start living it. So, whatever we want to do must do NOW. So, that man said, “Yes…definitely….don’t worry, the Kawasaki (new bike) is coming June or July. Very soon…”

Me : Cilaka, you want to go faster issit?

Man : Yes, please tell your blog readers. Must make claims for their insurance. If want to go, make sure it is claimable from the PA (personal assurance). If not, pay so much premiums for what lah. And that one is a quick one, you say correct or not? Then, all of you will be rich. Good mah?

*The dotter is going to be on the next available flight. Earlier, it was end of June. I asked the Lord to forgive me for the anger I harboured this long. But I am only human and I feel because I am human with feelings. I had also called Hospice and arranging with the family to see if they can bring him home for homecare. I know this is beginning to feel like a soap opera but I am not able to face or do whatever I am doing alone (minus all my blog readers’ kepochiness and supporting words), if I don’t unload. It is not easy to discuss with the wife where he should go on the last days as there are three places he can go. I also told her to prepare mentally to face more severe pains. And she has to learn to detach her feelings when dealing with all the medical care. I had been there, done that, seen it.

Oh ya, what did #2 responded. Ammah….what lah you! LOL