It is the seventh day today. Chinese believes on this night, the deceased soul will return home for the last time before he left this world for good.

Today, hubby went with his family to the crematorium to pick his bones. Kind of funny, right? Bones to pick. It is actually a basin filled with ashes and all the bones of the person including the big ones. The bereaved family members will use a chopstick to pick up the smaller pieces and put them in the urn. However, if I remember correctly, the skull is normally not included. I didn’t go this morning because I have to take care of my youngest kid who was sleeping.

I remember I picked my baby’s bones too. His pacifier made from silicon was intact despite the burning. But most of the bones were in ashes. The sight of that pacifier was more painful than the bones because it was the reminder that it was my flesh and blood in that pile of ashes as the pacifier was still in shape.

I think it is appropriate I recalled my last prayer for him, the bro-in-law of hubby I mean. Before the coffin was moved out of his shop, I told him in my heart to “depart, don’t worry, my husband will help to look after your family for you, they will be well taken care off and you just be happy. I am pretty sure you will get to a better place.”

I knew there wasn’t much time left so I burnt a joss-stick, held it high on my forehead level, closed my eyes and said all there is that I wanted to say. My prayer turned out much longer than I realised and when I opened my eyes, I noticed, “Fulamak, so many people were behind me with their own way of praying! Paiseh. I was standing there like a statue.” To those who are not aware, Catholics do burn a joss-stick as a mark of respect. You will know from the way we hold it. We just clasp it with both our hands and not move it in the motion like Taoists do.

So, go in peace….May the good Lord have mercy and brings you to His Heavenly Kingdom. I will tell my Jesus to do me that favour.