Working parents are going to hate me for this post. But don’t care lah.
There is this babysitter who takes care of a five years old boy. The same age as my little boy. The parents are both working and sometimes, they worked outstation as well. Meaning, they may not pick him at night. The boy has an older sister but she goes to another babysitter.
This little boy can really whine and whine and whine all day long. He cries with this shrill voice that resonates all over our apartment units. It is especially worse if the babysitter has a new baby to take care.
Today, I heard him screaming something really kesian. The babysitter is probably busy with the new baby and the bigger boy wanted something. He was crying so pathetic…”When I want time, you do not have time to do for me.”
Aiyor, so kesian. You see, kids attached very closely to their caregivers and when the caregivers have new babies under them, they will feel neglected, unloved and betrayed. Very much like how our older kids feel when they have a new sibling. But you see, if we are parents, we probably get them emotionally prepared for a new sibling. However, babysitters take new babies as and when they come. So, there is no such thing as being emotionally prepared. Then, siblings have blood ties and give the older kids the ‘grown-up’ mighty, good feelings. Meanwhile, if they are other people babies, to the older children, these are little critters that grabbed the attention of their babysitter. So, jealousy, insecurities, loss of sense of belonging and etc will crop up in these kids.
Many kids have problems dealing with these. And working parents may not immediately realise why their kids are so whiney. The parents are also tired from all the work and walau-eh, the kids will get smack for being whiney lor. I bet working parents lost their cool with their kids at some point. But remember, kids have feelings too. Most times, they do not know how to express it except by being difficult and whiney.
Solution? None. I won’t impose my ideal suggestion to any parents because all of us have to work to make ends meet, don’t we?
NOT RELATED : Someone can tell me what this KwongWah paper said about my blog post? I translated with Babelfish already but just want to be sure, they are supporting my post and not using it against my herrow orh? This is freaky! I was just babbling about doormats only and Kwongwah picked it up.
yeah! Right.
Parent should pay more attention to their own kids.
If you love them show them by your unconditional love.
They will appreciate! Action speaks louder than word.
Parent watch out what you speaks especially to your loved one!!!
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I hate it everytime I had to drop my son off to the babysitter’s and not because of his whining or crying but because I feel so darn helpless about it!
Luckily my son is used to the babysitter’s divided attention because she has always had four to five kids under her care at one time but I guess he just prefers to be at home with us.
Which is why I am now working my ass off trying to find a way to work from home and cau the babysitter yau yee.
Sigh..I wanna be 5xmom when I ‘grow up’….err not the 5x part but the femes blogger, earning income from home part…heheheh..hubby will pengsan if he thinks I want 4 more kids!
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Can’t comment on the main topic coz I’m not in the position yet. :p
By the way, KwongWah sked of you liao, the link become :-
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bryan – I did translation with Google and got the meaning already. Wuah, it looks like KW used my slogan to support the CM’s stand. Dem proud wor. In brief, what I said was we cannot let people bully us all the time one.
foong – Yalor, last time I work time, also boh pien lor. Mau cari makan mah…My #3 went to day care thimmm…like nursery. But lucky, now he hampalang cannot remember that part already. Or maybe too traumatised, all erased from memory. Hahaha.
Fooi – Tks for the wise advice.
very lucky one..my mum are not working when i’m kid..
she take good caring to me and my eldest bro..
Take good care and love children even have to work..those kid lack of love and caring..in the end..become “Tua Pai”(Gangster) lo.. I saw alot of this case in my secondary school..
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Haii. i’m really in the dilemma now. I’m a stay home mum of a 2 years old daughter and expecting the second one in Oct. My husband would like me to go back to work after deliver because you know lar, petrol naik, electricity also naik ,job not secure. But i seriously don’t feel like leaving my kids with babysitter. I want to be available to them all the time. But pity my husband also, i think he really feel the burden of supporting the family by himself especially after seeing all the things also naik harga but his salary tak naik lar….
Yes, i agree. I travel for work most of the time. Since I have kids I try to cut the amount of travelling. I don’t like the idea of babysitter especially the babysitter have more than one kid to take care of. I would rather pay more for a well managed daycare where my boys learn to live and play with different kids and babies.
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Lilian, not look like, but actually quoted.
I only translate the most important 3rd paragraph:
Tan Sri Noor must understand that new and old State government are different. Old one is a tamed to Federal, but the new one is RAKYAT ‘s. Penang refused to be the doormats – which weakened, trampled and ineffective by the Federal.(Like the said in blogger Faith Journey), when Penang ‘s Constructions/Engineering are canceled in high profile without consulting, reasoning explanation, so any leader who loves Penang will feel very disappointed
The main point in CM ‘s statement is, Penang willing to receive the 4.7 billions cash, as a replacement for the cancellation plans of 9MP in Penang. And to prove this not a political revenge.
Translator – Tenkiu……Fuyoh, I dem bangga lah. LOL. Got lotsa traffic from Kwong Wah too.
Agnes – 🙂
soo ming – Take things one by one lor. All of us moms went through these phases and usually, it is up to the individuals to make the decisions. Tough one, but good luck on finding something workable.
kidkiller – Lucky lor.
got 2 side of the story lor. if your new baby who has never bonded with grandparents is not favoured over for an older cousin whom the grandparents love a lot, both under care of the same grandmother, the baby turn insecure in later life. Particularly if the grandparents took extreme pain not to incur the elder kid’s jealousy, and in doing so, intentionally ignore the younger one, leaving her to the maid’s care and repeatedly walked past without acknowledgment even when the younger one called plaintively to the grandparent from the crib. sigh.been there, done that , seen that. broke myheart to hundred pieces. now i quit my job to take my kid back and set up my own practice so that i can take care of my own kid.