I am probably going to get whack for thinking these thoughts. And who knows, maybe I am going to get kick out of my church for even suggesting that we are doing it all wrong, all the time. But this thing bugs me. It bugged me since yesterday and it is still bugging me. So, I am going to say it.

I think we, the Catholics especially are rather ‘hopeless, sad, wet blanket, sombre, cannot laugh, strict, prude and *add other stuffy terms* people.

I was taking photos of the statues in St. Anne’s Church Bukit Mertajam yesterday and I realised that out of 15 stations of the crosses, only one is what we should aim for. The Resurrection. Resurrection means, on the third day, after Jesus died, He rose again. As a human, walking around, BBQ fish and appearing all over the places for 40 days. This is before He become the Holy Spirit and gone out of sight on Pentecost.

Can you imagine it takes 14 stations of the crosses to remind us Catholics to do good? I mean, like doh…why do we need to be reminded so often that we are sinful people? Why do we need 14 times to be told to be nice and all that?

Jesus Christ on the cross, St. Anne's church Bukit Mertajam

That’s why I blurted out to a priest, “I wonder if religion improves a person’s life or does it shackled them instead?” I got that idea when I see people getting all mean against each other, calling names and getting all edgy when they wanted to uphold the religion.

We have to be reminded about Jesus dying on the cross. When bad Christians like me do something wrong, good Christians never failed to remind me on that. I know. I don’t need to be reminded. As it is, I already have my own conscience to deal with. I don’t need another human to remind me. If you believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, you do not need to question if another person’s has the Spirit in her/him.

The Pieta, St. Anne's church Bukit Mertajam

It is kind of sad that we need 14 sad moments to remind us to do good. It always pain me to see Mother Mary with a dead Jesus on her lap. The Pieta is a statue carved by Michelangelo. Before this station, there were many others sad statues of Jesus bleeding, dying, being tortured and more. There were crying women and other heart breaking scenes.

Why? Why are we so weak in faith that we need constant reminders that Jesus had a hard life? I wonder if we have better scenes, will we be as faithful? For me, a Catholic convert, I do not see Jesus as the statues represent. I see Jesus as the guy who is so good at perli people with His parables which probably baffled those Pharisees speechless. I see Jesus as the one who can get out of sticky situations all the time because He is licik. The guy who can do everything. Nothing is impossible.

Jesus Christ

I don’t see my God as a dead person. I see the Resurrection. And that helps to make me want that kind of promises and work on it in my life. I hope my faith stays strong enough that I do not need 14 times of reminders to hope for one. Now, I just realized why it is so hard for me to pray the rosary.

I am hope I don’t make my brethren foaming in the mouth with this thought. My point is, ‘Why is it so hard for one to do good that they need 14 times of reminder?’ Why can’t they just do it, simply because they believe?

*runs and hide behind Jesus’s robe and hope no one finds this post*

So, frankly, who dare to tell me what you think of Christians? Pain in the neck? Most helpful person in the world? All that 5xmom represents?