You know, long long time ago, I thought if my ‘church people’ found my blog, I am going to be dead. Not that I openly dissed anyone but not all of them are exactly angels so I did hint here and there and if you are part of the circle, you can piece the jigsaw together. Then, there is this nightmare when my son told me his friends from church read my blog. I was like, *take deep breath to keep from fainting* OH MY GOD!!!!! they do? What if their mommies know that I spell the F word with a U? I wonder if they tell their parents!!!???!!!! OMG, where am I going to bury my head?
So, I imagine the imaginary finger pointing like “Nah, that woman? She is the one who said the F word.” But then, I realise that they probably dare not tell their moms that they read bad stuffs like what I crapped. Bad grammar, bad sentences structure, bad Ingrish, bad moral but truthful.
Now, I don’t give a damn anymore. Because sometimes, I get the random mails from people who call themselves the ‘silent reader’ and they trust me enough with their troubles. They poured their problems to me. And I guess I am not totally bad, after all.
And this is to thank my silent readers for being silent. However, your silence does give me the creeps. It is very frustrating when I look at a person and though I know they do know I blog, I have the one million question which I dare not ask. The million dollar question of “HEY YOU, ARE YOU READING MY BLOG EVERY SINGLE DAY?” Because it is not fair! You know what colour is my shit and yet, I do not know if you read it. And if you do read, I do not know if you do and I dare not ask.
One other frustrating thing is sometimes in conversations, the person whom I thought did not read my blog suddenly knows how much petrol my car consumes. And I was like “nyek nyek nyek….he is reading my blog, OMG!”
So my darlings sekalian, gimme a break. Next time, if you talk to me, do hint that you are my blog reader. Otherwise, I float around with thousands of questions which I dare not ask. If I ask, I am scared of people thinking, “HOI, perasan lah, who has time for a shitty blog like yours.”
But to those who stalk my blog to get updates and then, bitch behind my back, I hope you step on the dog’s poo the next time you step out of the house. Not only that, I hope the crow shits on your head at the same time. No, that’s not enough. I hope you get constipation for a week and just when you are stuck in a traffic jam with no toilet nearby, you need to shit. And it blows.