*this is a draft post which has been written for a while already but I never publish it because I am unsure of the response. *

This is another one of my post that I cooked up while driving. As you know, I have no dotters so I shall share this with all the bebudak pompuan. Listen properly, okay?

You know, we women, female, betina, pompuan, char bor, chau lok or whatever our moms call us, are always at a disadvantage over men if we didn’t start at the right footing. So, if we don’t play it right, we will lose out. Some moms may molly-coddled their daughters till they become sebijik-semacam like the mother. Some moms may plant the wrong idea to bring up girls. Or some lucky folks like me, I actually grew up with almost no influence from my mother or any females and I have no dotters to pass on my bad traits LOL.

Now, I show you some cases where I always win. When I was in Form Four or Form Five, I am the sipeh lansi, aksi head prefect. We had two heads, i.e. the boy and girl head prefect. I had one class monitor who was equally lansi. One day, she picked up a quarrel with me during a prefect meeting, thinking that she could win. The discipline master was there and she spilled everything about me. She bitched and bitched and bitched till she cried. And what did I do? I refused to be dragged into a cat fight, so I just stood there and glared at her. She was dumbfucked because she was in tears while I refused to entertain her. When she had finished crapping, I coldly spoke, “Sir, sorry about this. I will see what I can do about it.” And I did nothing after that.

Next, when I was working as a secretary, the other secretary went to my boss and started to scream about my wrong doings. Yeah, I caused her a lot pain ‘cos I refused to accept her as higher level than me just because her boss is bigger than mine. She was darn tulan-ed with me and thought she could go to my boss and tell him how uncooperative I was. So, my boss summoned me into his office while the super-bitch flailed her arms and tried to thrash me. I made her even more tulan because I refused to speak up to defend myself from her accusations. When she had nothing else to say, I asked, “OK, finished already? Dato’, I get back to my work, alright?”

Another example happened in church. I was in this group project and one of the committee member insisted I teach her something. It is impossible to teach a duck how to sing like a nightingale , ok? So, I just ignored her many requests. She shot a nasty email to me, telling me how selfish I am, that sharing is caring as a Christian yadda yadda yadda and she c.c. the mail to the priest! I ignored the email. When the priest asked me casually in a meeting, “Lilian, what happened?” I refused to explain myself and told him that it is just a small matter.

Lastly, have you seen The 5xmom had blog war with another female blogger? Nay….not in a million years.

There you have it in point forms.

1) Never argue with another female. Cheese her off with silence and a curt twist of your mouth.

2) If you are right, don’t bother to argue to defend yourself. Even if you are wrong, you are still right in your own opinions.

3) If you have a leader above you, trust him/her to believe you without questioning. If not, fuck the leader. Resign or find Thai black magic or bomoh to put a curse so that the kkc shrinks or the ccb grows. LOL, just joking.

4) If your leader/head is a male, all the more easier to handle. There is always charm. Charm always win bitchy behaviour.

5) Never, ever, cry in front of anyone. I don’t care if you choked yourself to death trying to hold your tears or bite your tongue off to hold back the sobs, just don’t cry. Take deep breaths, ease the tensions by channeling it elsewhere, like grinding your teeth together. Every single boy, men, uncle, handsome hunks and etc etc respect you if you manage that. Emo behaviour only happens in Korean emo drama or stupid American reality TV shows.

6) Of course, don’t always remain silent. Once in a while, show the claws and fangs and no one dares to scratch you in future.

7) One very important survival skill is the ability to zoom in to the top and find your ‘backhill’ and gain the person’s trust – whether it is your top boss, your top leader or whoever is the most influential. This is call the most subtle bodek-ing skill. So subtle that no one knows it is bodek in motion.

So girls, save the tears. It will work against you, whether in school, college or at work. Or in the society. Only Rafidah Aziz can get away with it, hugging Tun M and sobbing. Oh no, she didn’t survive too. Bwahahaha…..