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Eggs-traordinary meeting of Persatuan Teloq-Teloq (news you won’t find on Malaysiakini)

** Malaysiakini has refused to issue this statement on their newsportal and hence, I was asked to help publish this.

The Persatuan Teloq-teloq today convened a Majlis Tertinggi Teloq meeting and wish to voice their egg-treme unhappiness with Teresa for insulting eggs.

Their spokesperson, Eggs-co member Hamik Kaynui (photo inset) wishes to egg-press their utter unhappiness that Teresa said teloqs are like dog food. They felt insulted and egg-stremely disgusted with this comparison. The members of the Persatuan Teloq-teloq wish to remind Teresa that they will instruct their Youth members to make report against Teresa because eggs are “essential food of the underprivileged.”

Next, eggs are eggs-tremely similar to bald men and by insulting eggs, Teresa also insulted bald men in general.

I look like Hamid Albar, I stinks like Hamid  but I am not Hamid, I am Hamik Kaynui

I look like Hamid , I stink like Hamid but I am not Hamid , I am Hamik Kaynui

Hamik Kaynui also insisted that eggs “met international standards”. Hamik demanded Teresa to egg-pologise to all eggs in the country and in the world or else the eggs will hold peaceful candlelight vigils and refuses to co-operate to rise to become fluffy bahulu this Raya.

Big Bird also whispered to this blog owner’s ears that a gang of egg-rempit will attempt to remain un-bath for weeks and become rotten eggs and launch themselves on Teresa if she failed to issue a full page apology in all the major BN run newspapers like Utusan, NST dan lain-lain.

Hamik Kaynui also sent a video of their national egg song and hope everyone will learn to sing it.

You can find the egg song on Youtube (they don’t allow embedding)

(hamik means what in Hokkien, kaynui is egg and no, I am NOT talking about Teresa Kok and the Syed Hamid Albar eggs debate. Any similarity is unintentional, ok? If the Hamik Kaynui’s face resembles anyone dead, alive or comatose, is also coincident, wokaaaayyyy? And yes, to all the vegans out there, a poor egg which has the potential to become a live chicken that will lay more eggs has been sacrificed in making this post.)

On unrelated matter, Teresa Kok has admitted that she shouldn’t have used Makanan Anjing (malaysiakini).

Updated
Many hours later……

Hamik Kaynui has ended up in mee Maggi kari letup, flavoured with extra garam masala, burrrpp..RIP Hamik Kaynui.

hamik kaynui kari letup




19 Responses to “Eggs-traordinary meeting of Persatuan Teloq-Teloq (news you won’t find on Malaysiakini)”

  1. Dear 5XMom,

    Thank you for providing this important announcement.

    The Hamik portrait is damn keng, your staff photographer damn good.

    Blardy hell, they make all this noise about teloq, what about Teresa being put in jail for no reason whatsoever. She was in jail then only she is given the teloq.

    This stupid Hamik.

  2. correct me if I am wrong…
    chau kay nui=rotten egg
    kay nui thau=egg head
    ang kay nui=red egg
    pua ceh sek kay nui=half boiled egg
    kiam nui=salted egg
    kiam ark nui=salted duck egg
    keh bo seh nui=mother hen lay egg
    keh nui ko=egg bun? egg tart?
    ciak kay nui=eat egg
    cien kay nui=fry egg
    chu sek kay nui=hard boiled egg
    (how to say pei tang [century egg] in hokkien?)
    aiyoo teresa.. wah ma si tak jit ciak kay nui…

  3. Dan – Their arguments are so so so lame, so that’s why I beh tahan. I mean, if they think Teresa is being bitchy, then said so. What for go make polis repot wor, like polis got nothing better to do meh? Another thing, they argued that Teresa is not being sensitive to poor people and she is probably a wealthy person. So, what? Is it wrong to say food is lousy or being rich? We also said what, ‘tastes like shit oni’. Like this got major sin meh? And hor, Teresa kena buta-buta sumbat for 8 days and they expect her to float out like a saint and without feeling anything. Niamah, they really eat full nothing to do lah.

  4. correct me if I am wrong…
    chow kay nui=rotten egg
    kay nui thau=egg head
    ang kay nui=red egg
    pua ceh sek kay nui=half boiled egg
    kiam nui=salted egg
    kiam ark nui=salted duck egg
    keh bo seh nui=mother hen lay egg
    keh nui ko=egg bun? egg tart?
    ciak kay nui=eat egg
    cien kay nui=fry egg
    chu sek kay nui=hard boiled egg
    (how to say pei tang [century egg] in hokkien?)
    aiyoo teresa.. wah ma si tak jit ciak kay nui…

  5. The Hamik Kaynui portrait very nice!

    By the way, the video no longer available liao.

  6. Lilian, sori for the double comment, 3G line here still not satisfactory..
    Wonder if you could refer me to a site with recipe for a good HOKKIEN POPIAH? I miss home made popiah!!

  7. hilarious posting… 🙂

    To me… saying something like makanan anjing is similar to saying something like this food taste like shyt or whatever lah…

    RPK also said even his cat won’t eat those ISA detention food lah… then RPK should be charged insulting the kaynui… 🙁

    ============================================

    Saw a Mamma Mia! review claiming nuffnang gave you (famous auntie blogger in penang) a lot of free screening tickets, and said it’s unfair no wonder the screening had got so many senior citizens… 😛

  8. Lil

    Dont end up in the slammer!

  9. Thong – Chey, you so cheeken, you also better don’t read my blog, later you pun masuk.

    Hoyohoyo – LOL, ask them to lick my arse. So what I got many tickets? I got many blogs what. I made RM15K in Nuffnang, so of course, I VIP blogger mah, hor? Jeles ah? 😛

    exRC – What is Hokkien Pohpiah I dunno la.

    Bryan – I changed to the Youtube URL, they don’t allow embedding. The song very cute wan. The egg got condensation so the marker won’t stick, or else lagi nicer.

  10. OMG. ROTFLMAO. In a world of staid, uppity people, your blog provides me the comical relief and hence, the sanity I need to keep going. Bravo! 😀 😀 😀

  11. Telur separuh masak 2 biji!

    Siap!

  12. Ayam bek!!! I overstayed for another week. Sabai Sabai!!!

    Polis report for insulting an egg!!! UMNO boleh!!! But Pak Lah won’t know what it means pasal he takda telur.

  13. aiyo…telor pun mau SUe… mali lah….go sue..sue until lak fuh! mana pigi otak-otak ni… now i really think they better be off rather than showing their maggots face!

  14. You overstayed in Kemunting for 1 week ah? Got say hello to RPK ah? LoL…

  15. That was a GOOOOOOD one Lilian!!!!! I like best the Hamik Kaynui in maggi mee kari letup…..

  16. very innovative n hilarious!

  17. Haha this is so funny…
    They are really too darn free for this!!

  18. HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! Good one Lilian!

  19. […] then, there is the Teresa Kok fiasco. That case had so much twisted facts, from eggs to dog foods to molotov cocktail to cerpen to azan and etc until I lost the plot. But we know at […]