When I was driving out of my apartment unit this morning, I was temporarily caught in a mini jam. Apparently, lots of parents were at school because probably the year end semester exam is going on or something.
This is a regular scene, actually. Around 10-11 am, lots of parents will be standing outside the school, waiting to go in to the canteen during break time. They will be wiping sweats for their 7-12 years old children, bringing them foods, asking them the exam questions, bitching about how bad certain teachers are with other mothers, while never realising it is bad to bitch about teachers in front of their kids and etc.
I had been there, done that but thank God, I had managed to break from the shackles of kiasu parents because I am too lazy. Secondly, I am too selfish, I’d rather be home sleeping at 10 am. I also won’t sweat under the sun for the sake of my kid’s break time. Thirdly, I got better things to do, like laughing at people. Fourthly, my son would ignore and pretend he doesn’t know me because it is totally uncool to have mothers dotting over their sons.
But there are the parents whose life mission is to see that their children are protected, shielded, sheltered, covered, cocooned, defended (insert more similar words) from any hardship, whether it is hot day, dirty toilets, tasteless canteen foods, mosquitoes and etc.
This is what is described as raising a nation of wimps. I still remember a teacher scolded a standard four boy who was 11 years old when my eldest son was in the same class. This little boy is not little. He is a healthy, normal, strong boy with no mental or physical disability. The mom, who happened to be my ex-colleague whom I cannot stand, would carry her son’s school bag for him every single morning. The boy would lined up without his school bag. They would go up to their class and the mother would bring the bag to him.
One day, the teacher got so pissed, she asked him if he is a pondan. Bwahaha….it was the most wicked thing to do but damn…I was so shiok can die to see the mom kena dissed by the teacher.
Oh, the term, raising a nation of wimps is not from me. It is an article from Psychology Today. So, are you raising a wimp unintentionally, no matter how good the intention is?
12 thoughts on “Raising a nation of wimps?”
Yalor. Damn pampered lah kids nowadays. Like pondan lah.
They are not brought up like Chao Ah Bengs like me. Tough, independent, rusty and handsome.
Yalor Lillian! My Std 5 students’ mummies would spoon-feed them, wipe their mouths with Wet Ones & comb their hair ! They even approached me to request that their obese, wimpy sons sit right in front of the class under the fan coz they cannot tahan the heat. I would just smile at them making no promises. Then I would announce to my class that if I ever receive special requests from mummies again, I would make them sit on my lap but please, inform your mummies first that Teacher said so!! Guess what?? No more special request from mummies!!
Neighbor of ours kept cuddling her 11 year-old boy and doing the same routines you described above; of going to school during break times and changing his shirt, wiping his sweat, feeding him with spoon… One day after she said, not for the first time, to my wife that her sonny doesn’t want to grow up hor…
My wife blurted out, “Blame yourself lah. You’re not allowing him to grow up!”
Neighbor immediately changed the subject.
This is what happened when you become too ‘protective’. The children became too soft, dependable and have no toughness in them. And some parents claimed that they’ve done it out of love for their children. If you truly love your children, you will allow them to experience and learn so that when they grow up, they become a person and not a lifeless plastic plant!
Don’t forget those who still breastfeed their child in primary school…
Yup, you got that spot on.
I think I will also be one of those mums who are too lazy or have other things to do than to wait around for the kids. In my time, these kids will be the laughing stock of the class.
My boy is 3.5 years now and has started to rough it out with the guys in his class. He tells me about it and the teacher sometimes tell me about how all of them were punished. And I think that this is all healthy. Kids will be kids, let them fight, push, etc. so long as nobody ends up in the hospital.
And here I was, accused of taking it too easy as a mother ….
busy bee – Yalah, nowadays, kids don’t even have chance to fall so I don’t know how they are going to survive as adults. And they cannot take ‘no’ for an answer too because their maids have to kowtow to them.
victor – Really ah? I know five years old is usually the max limit lah.
fatimah – These parents will accuse us of giving birth but lazy to jaga anak pulak. Hahaha.
LC – Then there are mothers who fetched their sons from scouts camp to watch the last episode on Astro Wah Lai Toi! This is from Chung Ling. Hahaha.
AUG88 – My son’s school which is next to my apartment, have these mothers who stood outside the fence like prisoners’ visitors waiting to go in. The headmaster has instructed the guard not to let these mothers in to meddle so they have to wait till break time. Hilarious lah, this happens at the year end. If for Std. One, then, I do understand but some followed till secondary school.
Tan silly – Yayaya, the Ah Beng part I believe. The handsome part, I don’t think so lah.
You are so witty.
Lilian, I am one of the ‘bad’ mummies.I have only one kid in school(secondary, sekolah kebangsaan ) and most time I do not even know its exam time. I only realize when she does not carry her regular school bag but a smaller one.
I never go to her school to check or bring her food even when she was younger. I also never ask her whether she has done her homework and I have never checked her homework too. I believe that if she did not do her homework or did it wrongly, she would have to face the music.Of course my friends say ‘But your kid very smart mah!’.It’s not so, mine is just a regular kid ( btw,did not get 5As in UPSR).
I know parents check their child’s homework and help with the corrections so when the teacher checks, of course there will be no mistakes and she might think your child is smarter than she truly is. Or worse still, the teacher thinks her teaching skill is very good.
So far, my kid has never attended any tuition classes. One reason might be due to the fact that she is in a sekolah kebangsaan (near our house 1). Another one might be the mother (me lah!) not the kiasu type.Too lazy to be driver oso. I love my ‘me time’ too much.
So I have time for other things that are equally important (if not more so). That ,I believe ,makes me a ‘better’ mummy!
Some parents are over-pampering their kids. I used to carry stones in my bags because our textbooks were huge and we didn’t have any lockers (back then and now). Anyway, my school bag used to have holes here and there because of the books and the straps used to tear so easily.
I did ask my parents for a new bag and they said, “It still looks ok, go sew the strap up and it would be fine.” I did that. My parents could afford to buy me a new bag but chose not to. They wanted to teach us kids the value of things and $$$.
Most of my friends went through the same thing even though their parents could afford them the latest canggih bag.
I used to remember when my best friend took 2 buses to school despite her dad being a VP at a foreign bank and their family owned a BMW 3 series. She and her sis would be standing at the bus stop everyday to catch the bus home. One time, she fell asleep on the bus and got dropped off at a different location but somehow, managed to make a phone call through a phone booth and got home. She was around 9 or 10 yrs old at that time.
Now, my best friend is working as a top senior person in a big multi-national overseas, who got there on her own merit and who isn’t afraid of working her @ss off. She laments the fact that some youngsters these days can’t seem to “tahan” any hardships.
With the recession coming, what lessons are we going to teach our kids?
Ah Lian: You too young to remember this. In the kampong we were real rugged & rustic (like Dato Terry) during rainy days we no carry no umbrellas. Just cut a banana leaf at the back of the house and used that to keep out the rain when we walked to school.
And eldest sis was real lazy according to pa, when she got home from school she just kicked off her shoes without undoing the laces. She had a rattan open-ended school bag (like those used by Chinese medicine peddlers in the olden days when they make their rounds in the kampong). One night a katak puru jumped into her school bag. Next morning she carried the toad to school on Boon Siew’s Penang Yellow Bus from Bayan Lepas to Balik Pulau. Everybody had a good laugh when the toad jumped out of the bag in class.
Methinks you’re a bit late.
We don’t need to wait for the NG (next generation). Malaysia is already a country full of wimps.
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