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Cerpen kachuak kena pijak mati

Pada satu masa dahulu, sepasang suami-isteri sedang berceloteh semasa bersiar-siar dengan kereta.

Si isteri (si) – Eh, kamu ingat siapa nak menang? Empat-empat pun saya tak shiok wor. Tapi, untuk presiden, ok lah…itu keat la ada gaya sikit jugak lah.

Si suami (ss) – Presiden ok lah…..keat la nampak intelligent sikit. Tapi, itu 4 calon timbalan, adoi….semua pun tak boleh harap.

si – Dalam empat tu, cuma itu loktor simpan personal friend saja ada qualification wor. Yang lain tu….cheh…itu kachuak, saya harap dia kalah. Saya paling beh tahan sekali. Itu itek, pordah. Itu penang mali mia bola, kesian dia lah…Siapa mau support dia? Tarak orang kenal. Cuma tokong cina mia orang kenal dia.

ss – Phooi…kalau itu loktor menang, memang siasuey semua orang cina. This is call moral bankruptcy. Oi, lu pigi tulis lah.

si – HOI, saya tak mau lor. Nanti lu sindiri pi simpan personal friend, mana mau taruk muka saya lah? Bad karma, don’t want….. Tiu, choy…..I won’t comment because whatever or however I approach this, people will sure curse that you go find personal friend and I take my own medicine. Nay….I won’t comment at all.

Apabila si isteri sampai ke rumah, dia pun terus melayari Malaysiakini.

Dia terus lari keluar mencari si suami.

Si isteri melaung kepada si suami, “Yay…kachuak sudah kena pijak mati. Boh liao. Pochik. Finish.

Sekarang, semua lelaki cina sudah boleh simpan personal friend. It is legal. How? You got any personal friend? Can declare openly already. If you have, join their gang lah.”

Si suami, “Tiok boh tiok, what the hell…..”




17 Responses to “Cerpen kachuak kena pijak mati”

  1. personal friend? not friends? kalau friends, apa maciam? salah kah? boleh tangkap masuk lokap kah? hahaha….

  2. you are really funny lah lilian, tulis cerpen pulak nak lawan Chamil Wariya ka? anyway, made my day…This is truly a malaysian cerpen – semua bahasa ada.

  3. Ini Malaysia lah. Macam Macam Ada!!!

  4. Actually itu keat become more and more lansi nowadays lah… Some more don’t dare go debate, give this and that excuse…

    Then that time he announced to run for president hor, super lansi lor, bueh tahan, if not because that 2 ngONG helped him, he thought he really can become president nia~

    Nevermind, always say this say that but end up din do anything pun… PKFZ also dunno how liao… (but then CM Lim also same kuan :P)

    Yay Kachuak mati liao!!! CCBNYY win liao!!! That CCBCMF also win Malaysia Chinese Ahsoh liao!!!

  5. leyaw – Eh, what you tokking lah? If you don’t know what ‘personal friend’ defined by our ex-MOH minister and why he left the cabinet, please don’t try to be funny lah.

  6. kak teh – I should title ‘Lelaki Cina terakhir’ instead. Hahaha.

    tan silly – You got read Malaysiakini, Puteri UMNO meeting, baling kerusi wei. Dahsyat nyerrrr. They learn from Taiwan!

  7. Lil

    One of the TCB got in!!

  8. i’m still wandering why ppl dun sue him jek

    under penal code, both oral and anal sex is illegal. since he admitted that he is indeed the man in the video, the video also showed he received oral sex from his personal friend. how come he’s not charged ah while they charge anwar? lol

    ntg against csl la. he’s really good in his work, it’s just that the justice in malaysia is not exactly fair. actually, if csl doesn’t have this problem, he is probably the best mca leader of our time.

  9. Throw chairs ar? Not surprised leh. Those fat bitches high on hormones pills leh. And they are damn ugly also. LOL.

  10. Itu loctor punya deputy bagi dia masuk lokap dulu baru undi,itu baLu betul kan.
    Pochik no calibre ppl there oredi,itu tokong orang kenal punya got 10 undi kesian!
    Ah Lian tell CM give chance la dont grab all the good apples.

  11. See, the Taiwan trip is not a waste of money, they’ve learnt something back liao and put into practice! LoL…

  12. “You got read Malaysiakini, Puteri UMNO meeting, baling kerusi wei. Dahsyat nyerrrr. They learn from Taiwan!”

    Yay, our ex-PM’s “learning from the east” has yielded result!

    This year started off with CSL’s sex scandal but he has managed in time to turn the table – I’m so amazed on that. Let’s just forgive him for his misdeed. Close one eye only ma. I still regard him as one charismatic figure although he resigned from all official and party posts due to the scandal.

    Now he has been re-elected so I hope he will not repeat his mistake.

  13. As what Robb said, I don’t see how CSL can be effective at all… how can he oppose UMNO effectively…any wrong move and he can be charged for the sexual offense…

    That day after CMF won she appeared on TV3 news… “Hali ini Hali jadi saya.. Hali ini saya 44 tahun”…Woi!! it’s haRI not hali… Niamah!!!

  14. I won myself a bowl of kolok mee yesterday, for betting on the man with personal friend. I told hubby, that man sure wins. With such embarassing case and he dares to stand for the post, he sures know that the percentage of winning the post is very high. Although I dislike him, well, he is really a capable man, at office and on bed. LOL… As Boon Kheng said, have to learn to close one eye lo. Actually he wins better than kachuak wins.

  15. I have always say that the top brains in the country are not in politics. Look around yourselves, how many of the politicians have high qualifications ?

    That’s the whole problem. The good ones couldn’t be bothered to get involved as they can earn good living in the corporate world with their good qualification and expertise. And they can enjoy a luxury lifestyle without worrying of being accused of corruption. Only those craze for power or cannot make it elsewhere turn to politics as a shortcut to achieve their ambitions.

    How many really go into politics with the sole and sincere purpose of serving the people and country with any personal interest ?

    So, in the end we have a bunch of mediocre jokers managing our country and leading us to nowhere lor………………..

  16. CSL can now be the dilector liao, no need become the actor in the Ng Kap Phin (Porn Movie). Since B Niamah is sinking soon, might as well ‘Chuen Hong’ (Change Job) LOL…

  17. “Now he has been re-elected so I hope he will not repeat his mistake.”

    u mean, dun go to the same hotel again?

    lilian, i mao vomit. pls teach me how to enforce moral values on the kids when they quote dis classic example.

    get ready 4 “the return of chuaSexleg – the revenge”