Blog reader, Domino asked these :
After reading this post, two questions pop up in my mind :
1) if you know your friend/relative’s spouse is having an affair (and obvious he/she is not aware of it) would you or should you tell him/her ?
2) if your spouse is cheating on you, would you rather be kept in the dark or you prefer to face the truth ?
What do you people think ???
And I think it is interesting to gossip and share our views a bit. So, here’s mine :
So, would I tell my friend if I know her/his spouse is cheating on him? Well, if that friend is a close and trusted friend, you bet I will. I will even help her pound sambal belacan if she asks me. I will also help to spy for her with my kick-ass zoom lens. Unfortunately, I don’t have any friends that I am so close with. I feel suffocated being in too close relationships. So tralalala, I won’t ever have to do that. I can only enjoy women dramas like Desperate Housewives and Sex and the city.
However, if that person is not someone very close, I will stay mute because one should never meddle with spouse problems. Many couples have fought like mad and somehow, when they get back together, all the other parties, even if they are close relatives or siblings, will become like the wedges. Normally, these foolish couples will be hostile with those who helped them through their rough patches, maybe because they are too embarrassed to be seen by others during the bad times.
Hey, ever thought of leaving an anon. note to leak the secrets to the cheated one? I know I am capable of doing such things if I see another woman being shortchanged.
Then again, when my duty calls for it, I had even helped a man cheated on his wife. The woman would beg me to give her details but nah ah, I am duty bound and my heart won’t budge.
So, conclusion is, there is no fixed rules, I guess.
Question 2, would you prefer to know if your cheating spouse had gone through with the sex part or only on the emo part. Or gawd, does he have another family out there? Or you prefer not to know and pretend everything is fine?
To me, whether there is sex involved or not, cheating is still a cheating. I personally find the emotional cheating a betrayal as much as the sex part.
If there is a dvd ala CSL, then, I sure breath my fire dragon breath. So, I think we women should never ever put up with kind of betrayal. Then again, so many women really are in the dark and they still carry on the relationship with all the hurts and scars.
Of course, all the above is not only applicable to marriages but serious relationships too. I have seen how some female bloggers can put up with cheating boyfriends and I think these are part of their childhood remnants of their parents problematic marriage. “If my mom can stand my dad, I guess I should also feel the same pain my mom did” kinda theory, you know? Or “my father screws around and my mom was fine with it, why can’t I do it as well?”
So, what you women think of Domino’s questions?