Blog reader, Domino asked these :
After reading this post, two questions pop up in my mind :
1) if you know your friend/relative’s spouse is having an affair (and obvious he/she is not aware of it) would you or should you tell him/her ?
2) if your spouse is cheating on you, would you rather be kept in the dark or you prefer to face the truth ?
What do you people think ???
And I think it is interesting to gossip and share our views a bit. So, here’s mine :
So, would I tell my friend if I know her/his spouse is cheating on him? Well, if that friend is a close and trusted friend, you bet I will. I will even help her pound sambal belacan if she asks me. I will also help to spy for her with my kick-ass zoom lens. Unfortunately, I don’t have any friends that I am so close with. I feel suffocated being in too close relationships. So tralalala, I won’t ever have to do that. I can only enjoy women dramas like Desperate Housewives and Sex and the city.
However, if that person is not someone very close, I will stay mute because one should never meddle with spouse problems. Many couples have fought like mad and somehow, when they get back together, all the other parties, even if they are close relatives or siblings, will become like the wedges. Normally, these foolish couples will be hostile with those who helped them through their rough patches, maybe because they are too embarrassed to be seen by others during the bad times.
Hey, ever thought of leaving an anon. note to leak the secrets to the cheated one? I know I am capable of doing such things if I see another woman being shortchanged.
Then again, when my duty calls for it, I had even helped a man cheated on his wife. The woman would beg me to give her details but nah ah, I am duty bound and my heart won’t budge.
So, conclusion is, there is no fixed rules, I guess.
Question 2, would you prefer to know if your cheating spouse had gone through with the sex part or only on the emo part. Or gawd, does he have another family out there? Or you prefer not to know and pretend everything is fine?
To me, whether there is sex involved or not, cheating is still a cheating. I personally find the emotional cheating a betrayal as much as the sex part.
If there is a dvd ala CSL, then, I sure breath my fire dragon breath. So, I think we women should never ever put up with kind of betrayal. Then again, so many women really are in the dark and they still carry on the relationship with all the hurts and scars.
Of course, all the above is not only applicable to marriages but serious relationships too. I have seen how some female bloggers can put up with cheating boyfriends and I think these are part of their childhood remnants of their parents problematic marriage. “If my mom can stand my dad, I guess I should also feel the same pain my mom did” kinda theory, you know? Or “my father screws around and my mom was fine with it, why can’t I do it as well?”
So, what you women think of Domino’s questions?
7 thoughts on “Afternoon women gossips”
For No 1., if it is a very close friend, maybe I will give her BIG hints but if she is still blur, I will probably SHOW her the proof! I can’t stand it when men cheat on their spouses and it is worse if it is a close friend! So, yeah, I’d probably try to get proof of the guy cheating on her and show it to her. We won’t know what diseases he is bringing back so it is better to tell her and keep keep her safe first. But if it is merely an acquaintance, then I guess I probably won’t dare say anything lor. Eh, some people like to blame the bad news bringer wan leh.
No.2, Hand me the big hedge cutters…’ngo chit’!
heheheeheheh….whether emotionally or sexually, like you, I still think it is cheating no matter what. And if he can’t even be faithful to me, then there is no point in the marriage at all. But first, I’d use the supplementary card he gave me to the max to buy myself some pretty gifts, withdraw ALL the money from the joint account, pour sand in his precious car’s petrol tank and yes, with that money, hire a good lawyer and file for alimony to make him pay me half, if not all, of his assets…bwahahahahahah…that’s the only way to hit them where it hurts the most.
However, on the other hand, I’ve had friends who’d give their husbands second and third chances simply because of their children. When I asked them why, they said it is not because they love their husbands unconditionally but because they do not want their children to grow up with a single parent. I guess, it is difficult for us to understand their situation when we have never been in the exact same situation as them.
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I can only hint (lousy at hinting) like get splattered with hot oil bit by bit. Telling the whole truth is like splashed from top to toe for a spouse.
It’s better to have affair with own spouse, by pretending not married to each other outside the house when the kids are not tagging along…
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TOUCHWOOD first!! If my hubby ever cheated on me..i don’t think i will have a qualm of guilty saying bye..bye to him. Why on earth i want to spend my whole life with a person who doesn’t deserved to be with me?? kan..kan?????
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For No.1 – If the woman is my close friend, I will make sure she is aware of her husband’s cheating, but I will first confront the husband privately and tell him to confess to my friend. I’ll probbaly give a time limit. If the time limit is over and he still hasn’t spoken, then I will tell her the news myself. I believe cheating or no cheating, the truth is best heard from the actual party involved.
For No.2 – I’m very realistic in a way that, I understand that tempations might come once in a while. But I have told my husband before marrying him that if he ever crossed the line, there will be no turning back for me. And he knows this part of my characteristic too.
no matter what, others should not get involved. that’s what i think.
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Since you all are on this topic. I have a different situation, the one who is cheating is my friend, but her husband is a very kind man, should i tell him?
th_c – Wuah… stay far-far away lorrrr….Men and women react differently wan, later you get blamed susah lor.
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