One of the most important lesson I learnt in my one and a half month course on psychosprituality (combining psychology with spirituality) is to discover ourselves. Some of the things taught by the lecturer, a Catholic priest are to accept our weaknesses and befriend it, being vulnerable is a good thing and enjoy the simple things in life.
Father Huan wrote in my exam papers: (Being in touch with your own weaknesses & helplessnesses & responding to the needs of others with compassion & understanding is a positive way of befriending your shadow)
He also left more notes :
• More shadow work need to be done before you can say you’ve befriended & integrated your shadow. Litmus test for completion of this task: Accepting vulnerability without the need to compensate by being in control, & feeling at home with weaknesses & emotional needs
That explains a lot and also answers my own inquisition why I bother to go to a cancer hospital to spend time with very ill and dying patients. It has been a question I asked myself for these past four months.
Yesterday, we brought a cake and bread baked by my son to my sister’s place. So, I mentioned about my volunteer job at the cancer hospital. My eldest sister and I have opposite characters. Maybe it is because we grew up in different kind of situations. She had both parents till she was about 21 years old while I was the wild child who only have a single parent after my father’s death. So, I am the fearless, cannot be control, independent, cannot take shits, no fear of death/pain/sickness person.
I briefly told her what a ‘normal’ day is like for me in the companies of the people there. She went, “Aiyerrr…..yeeeee…..you are not afraid? You cannot feel sad meh, every day see dying people?”
I told her, “No worr…..my job is to prepare them for death or cope with long sufferings. Every day I chit chat, listen and slowly go through with those whom the doctor cannot help further. Then, when they have unloaded and unburdened themselves (we Christians call reconciliation), they die lor…Nay, just the other day, one of the woman I know for four months already, died. Sad a bit got lah…but expected already mah. But hor, no lah, everyday before I go home, I go chapel pray pray to Jesus Christ a bit, come out what also forget already lah. All those people screaming and groaning in pain also I forget.” (It is the truth. I have ‘detach feelings when needed’ skills.)
So, I am glad I went through the course on psychology and spirituality. Now, I also can deal with anal retentive people because I now understand what bothers them and why they become like that. I probably tell myself, “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
Oh shit! My blog post title and my cerita lari lintang pukang. Never mind, what I initially wanted to share on this beautiful Monday is – never stop having fun. We parents are sometimes too uptight. Just chill lah. Life is too short, don’t take it too seriously. Laugh when you still can. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
P/S : Thanks for all your sms-es. Will get around to write the suggested topics when I complete my exams. I still have two more papers to finish. More soul searching and reading needed.