20 years together
Posted on November 25th, 2008 by Lilian • Filed under: Life and rants
A few friends told me 20th wedding anniversary is a big deal. Nay, I don’t want to blow it and end up with no 21st anniversary. I think I will just tip toe around and celebrate the 50th anniversary.
So, let’s do some calculations.
I have lived for 44 years.
I have lived with this same man for 22 years.
I have lived with this same man and legally owns 50% of his properties and 100% of his EPF in the past 20 years.
I think I can endure living with the same man for another 20 years.
So, what have 20 years of legal binding, faith agreement, witnessed by the dead ancestors (we were Taoists/Buddhists when we got married) brought us?
1988 – Got married
1988 – Father-in-law died (we married cos he was dying, that way he gets to drink tea and get bonus point of a daughter-in-law like me)
1990 – Eldest son was born
1992 – Second son was born
1996 – My mother died
1996 – Third son born
2000 – Mother-in-law died (I think it is 2000 lah, who can remember mother-in-laws right LOL)
2001 – Fourth son born but premature
2002 – Fourth son died
2003 – Fifth son born
2003 – My children and I converted to Catholicism
2008 – I’m still standing after all these years
2008 – The dear husband is temporary enjoying a long break from working life and the two of us lepak all day and all night long together. So long as we have money coming in, we will lepak till old age. Not many couples can stand living together like this.
That means we survived four deaths, five births together. Researchers said that a marriage is most threatened when there is a death in a child. For us, it is not only death of a child but a very lengthy hospital stay with a critical ill child.
So, yeah, our marriage has been put into the furnace and polished.
But it is really scary to make the calculations. Half my life, I spent it with the same man. And I am never bored of it. Yet.
Therefore, it is thanksgiving time. Thank you, Lord for giving me :
1) a sense of humour
2) a ‘don’t give a shit’ attitude (wa bo chap siow)
3) a tactful personality (otherwise one can die with four sisters-in-law aka his sisters, all
kepohs concern type)
4) a sense of selfishness that makes me still me, and not a mere servant of his (some women become a wife and mother and lost her own self)
5) a quick temper and equally quick forgetfulness
6) a ‘don’t know how to nag’ character (aha, my classic ‘face turned black facade’ is enough to shut everyone up)
7) a lot of male and female friends to bitch with and now, my sons to grumble with
8 ) the same person I was 22 years ago (many marriage broke up ‘cos the spouses turned into different persons after marriage)
9) Jesus because I know I have Him to turn to when I am pissed.
10) Five wonderful kids who are our gel.
So, Happy 20th wedding anniversary to me.