20 years together

A few friends told me 20th wedding anniversary is a big deal. Nay, I don’t want to blow it and end up with no 21st anniversary. I think I will just tip toe around and celebrate the 50th anniversary.

So, let’s do some calculations.

I have lived for 44 years.

I have lived with this same man for 22 years.

I have lived with this same man and legally owns 50% of his properties and 100% of his EPF in the past 20 years.

I think I can endure living with the same man for another 20 years.

So, what have 20 years of legal binding, faith agreement, witnessed by the dead ancestors (we were Taoists/Buddhists when we got married) brought us?

1988 – Got married
1988 – Father-in-law died (we married cos he was dying, that way he gets to drink tea and get bonus point of a daughter-in-law like me)

1990 – Eldest son was born
1992 – Second son was born
1996 – My mother died
1996 – Third son born

2000 – Mother-in-law died (I think it is 2000 lah, who can remember mother-in-laws right LOL)

2001 – Fourth son born but premature
2002 – Fourth son died

2003 – Fifth son born
2003 – My children and I converted to Catholicism

2008 – I’m still standing after all these years
2008 – The dear husband is temporary enjoying a long break from working life and the two of us lepak all day and all night long together. So long as we have money coming in, we will lepak till old age. Not many couples can stand living together like this.

That means we survived four deaths, five births together. Researchers said that a marriage is most threatened when there is a death in a child. For us, it is not only death of a child but a very lengthy hospital stay with a critical ill child.

So, yeah, our marriage has been put into the furnace and polished.

But it is really scary to make the calculations. Half my life, I spent it with the same man. And I am never bored of it. Yet.

Therefore, it is thanksgiving time. Thank you, Lord for giving me :

1) a sense of humour
2) a ‘don’t give a shit’ attitude (wa bo chap siow)
3) a tactful personality (otherwise one can die with four sisters-in-law aka his sisters, all kepohs concern type)
4) a sense of selfishness that makes me still me, and not a mere servant of his (some women become a wife and mother and lost her own self)
5) a quick temper and equally quick forgetfulness
6) a ‘don’t know how to nag’ character (aha, my classic ‘face turned black facade’ is enough to shut everyone up)
7) a lot of male and female friends to bitch with and now, my sons to grumble with
8 ) the same person I was 22 years ago (many marriage broke up ‘cos the spouses turned into different persons after marriage)
9) Jesus because I know I have Him to turn to when I am pissed.
10) Five wonderful kids who are our gel.

So, Happy 20th wedding anniversary to me.

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40 thoughts on “20 years together”

  1. Happy china wedding anniversary! May God continue to bless you and your family with neverending blessings…. Looking forward to silver, gold, and diamond! 🙂

    David C.´s last blog post..Eunoia

  2. Congratulations!!! Both of you came a loooong way. Hope both of you have more happy years to cum. (pun intended, LOL)

  3. Fine gold and silver have passed thru flame. May you guys make it to your Golden Jubilee and beyond. Blessed be..

  4. I am very touched with this article just as when I completed my entry in my latest blog. I am certain I will never have this chance that you went through. Thanks for putting some smiles in my life.

  7. people write abt gay u also parrot.. who the fuck wants to know how long u have been married?? u are heading to hell definitely.. trust me.. all the remaining years of confession aint getting u anywhere..

    and why u so scared of me that u are moderating my comments? kiasu ah? cannot take the heat is it??

    wait til ur sons are gay i would like to see the look of ur face!

  8. I thought should celebrate 25th wedding anniversary… Silver anniversary mah. 🙂

    Anyway, congrats on reaching a milestone in life. My parents opted not to celebrate their 25th. We pray for their good health each day so that they can celebrate their 50th in the future. 🙂

    Angie Tan´s last blog post..Cake Obsession

  9. GGT, move your butt away. If you don’t like it here… just leave graciously. It is very childish of you to even determine what other people should write and what not. Even more childish to find attention everywhere is a blogsphere that hates you! The website tells you its obnoxious – you come and complain how obnoxious it is, so it is you who shake the hornet nest. So, LEAVE (no ‘please’)!!

    And btw, who are you to tell people to go to hell?

  12. ggt – People like you will self-destruct on its own. So I shall just sit back and enjoy the thought of a poor soul like you who getting anal over everything. Happy mental. Actually, what’s bugging you in your life? Your parents mistreat you so you find it apt to take it out on another parent like me? Your wife abandoned you? Your boss did not give you a promotion? Your college friends called you a misfit? You cannot get a hard on? You voted for BN? What? Unless someone have a personal problems, they won’t go around blogs hating people.

  13. Blindfolded – This ggt is some attention seeking boy who leaves comment every day. Poor him.

    angie – Celebrate small small got lah. But hor, scared too grand liao, later break the comfort zone.

  17. Congratulations and Happy 20th Anniversary, A. Lilian! 5xdad is a really nice guy. I’m still grateful for his and your help the other day 😀 My regards to 5xdad too!

    Clare´s last blog post..If I Were A Boy

  22. nice blog n real stories to share…..
    being going thru some real bad time here with my husband n im glad to know that im not alone to go thru all these…

    oo…my sil sucks too…

  23. mom u r so lucky i jealous sama lu !

    dunno if i got it wrongly or not from ur posts lar, i find tat u r so comfortably living life as the way u like…w/o a hubby who rant rant rant critisizing u from head to toe n back to brain ….n nag nag nag lecturing how u shud behave in order to b a good mom

    u muz b a very very smart nice wife/mom 2 have such a nice hubby n kids

    happy anniversary to u

  24. is it true tht after 20yrs of marriage, wife n husband seldom talk as they prefer to communicate tru body language and facial expressions?
    no lah… 20 yrs is a long time…hope u hav many more (wil we c a dotter in another 20yrs?)..:-)

    p/s yr new snow flakes had me thinking there were problems wt my eyes…

    JT´s last blog post..Go manual – The SUNNY F/16 rule

  25. Jt – Where got snowflakes? Your eyes got floaties ah? Hehehe.

    momislucky – That’s why must have some selfishness and remain our own usual self before the other half took over lor. I not smart, only kwai lan. Hahaha.

    elle – It is never a bed or roses lah so mah hang on and smile when the going gets tough lor.

    looking – You still looking ah? LOL. Keep looking.

    thanks and thanks and thanks to all the other wishes.

  26. Congratulations first.

    1. I have to salute you as a strong personnel.

    2. I have to respect both you and your hubby for became financial free at this point of age.

    3. I have to envy you as a mother that not only taking care of kiddos but also involved in blogging, confection, as well as digital media processing.

    You had done a great job being a good daugther to someone’s, being a good wife for your hubby, being a good mom to your children, being a good Internet citizen for keep on banging the blogs and also being a good beings for sharing. Kudos to you!

    blink4blog

  28. congrats… and wishing you many more years of togetherness to come….. wishing we will be able to retire by the time we reach 40s like you and your husband… any pointer or tips?

    suyin´s last blog post..Where are you?

  32. Congratulations on your 20th anniversary, may you enjoy more beautiful moments on years to come!

    Now I am of my parents anniversary… wonder how many years it had been hrm…

  33. Hey! congrats to you…..
    u know what…. i olso got married in ’88 too….
    while u have 5, i have onli 1…..
    yr 1st one in 90, mine in 93…..
    1 partner loves jc, the another not… same-same here…

    so, 20 yrs huh?

  34. Wow… your 20th year on 25 Nov 2008…
    Mine = 32 years on the same date.

    Happy Matrimony to You!!!

    From my side….Hahhahahah

  35. Auntie Lilian….congrats!!!! So this is your secret to successful marriage lor hor????? 🙂 Really nice seeing how your family gets along really well, all the best!!!

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