You know…if I bother to scan all the articles I wrote that appeared in the newspapers and magazines, plus all the articles about me, I can actually puff myself up so much, I probably walk around with an imaginary halo on my head. I do have a huge folder with many articles, totalling more than 20. But sadly, those are not things I am proud of. Instead, those are bits and pieces of the hurts and pains I have gone through. The scars I bore.
This morning, I found the news of the woman who was a snatch theft victim who fell and got rolled over by a lorry or something. Immediately, I recall the death of the young man who was a TAR college student. He too was a victim of snatch thieves. Before he died, he managed to phone his father. And until today, many years later, the parents are still trying to cope with that trauma. The mom was in touched with my grief support group for a while but we haven’t heard from her after she moved to another state as she couldn’t stand living in the same house etched with her son’s memories. When such news of snatch theft victims getting severely injured or died, I will always get pissed with our police. They don’t seem to be around enough to make their presence felt by the robbers, muggers, rapists, snatch thieves, bad people and yet, their annoying presence never failed to be around Jerit cyclists, ISA peaceful candlelight vigils and you know what? The other day, the Jerit cyclists were housed in one of our church building as we provided them shelter for the night when they passed by Penang. And I was told that police officers were all around the church throughout their stay. The police have so many spare personnel to spend time ronda-ing around a church which is a symbol of peace and yet, crimes are happening right under our nose elsewhere. Can you feel my pain? Ya, including the one in the arse.
So, once in a while, I do enjoy getting some limelight in the news. Not to show off to others but to remind myself that whatever I do, it is not just a one off thing. It will lead to something else and that something else will lead to other things. I have stopped being involved in grief support as it is an emotional draining process as there are not enough bereaved parents to help me with it. But even within that short time, I eventually found out how blogger Ehon has his perspective of life changed through the death of his friend Ryan. (read ehon’s tribute to Ryan) Ryan’s mom was part of my support group. All these little pieces eventually will add up to a bigger picture in someone else life. Oh ya, do you remember the girl Nian Ning who was killed in the bus crash? Through a friend’s friend, somehow it came to me that the mom was wondering where her daughter’s soul is and all the FAQs we bereaved parents asked. I relayed back to the friend of the friend about how other bereaved parents deal with their own children’s death and hopefully the message got to the mom.
Therefore, I never underestimate God marvellous plan. And you shouldn’t too. He didn’t put us here on earth just to eat and shit. He has for each of us a bigger purpose. We may not know the actual purpose but somehow, all the little numbers will add up to a bigger and better universe.
Ahem…I am mighty preachy today ‘cos I am trying to get in touch with my real self. Father Simon Labrooy celebrates mass with us tonight and he talked about compassion. He said, “Compassion is not the same as sympathy. Being a Christian is not the same as a social worker. We must live the pain of others.” And I was like (thinking in my mind only lah) , “Yayaya, I know lah but Father, it is a heavy burden wor? That’s why I always run the other way because who will bear our pains then?” To which Father Simon said, “The reason we are lacking compassion is because we are only thinking of the ‘me’ and not the ‘we’. Anything that involves ‘we’ is so leceh so we never want to go the extra Christian mile.” Anyway, Father Simon has fabulous voice and when he sang Offering, I can feel my hair stands on end. Too bad he is going back to his diocese and won’t be in Penang to give us more of his funny but really comforting homilies. But, in that mighty God’s plan, I know things will unravel itself in the future.
(P/S : Fr Simon once introduced me to Archbishop Emeritus and said, “Lilian is a blogger.” which I quickly shhhhh him ‘cos being a blogger is not a role I am proud of in front of an Archbishop, you know?)