Master Bullshit Lilian too predicts the fortune for the year of the Ox in 2009
Posted on December 21st, 2008 by Lilian • Filed under: Humor
Lilian too will predict the fortune for all the Chinese zodiac signs and how they fare in the year 2009.
The Chinese zodiac consists of twelve animals.
The cycle starts with the Rat which is this year and the rat will make its exit on 25th January, 2009. On 26th January 2009, the Ox will charge in. Jeng jeng jeng….
Before we begin, lets count the twelve animal signs :
Chap It kau
Chap jee too
I learned to memorise the above in Hokkien since I was a kid. It is like a compulsory thing to know which animal come before which animal.
Two Ox (Moo moo Cow)
Eight Ram (Mek mek, kambing)
Ten Rooster (or Chicken)
Twelve Pig (or Boar)
So, the characteristic of the Ox will rule the year. And what does that mean? Labouring. Hard work. Plenty of bullheadedness to survive. In short – bad times lor. Recession, people losing their jobs, bad businesses and all those things that make a cow or kerbau toil in the fields.
And guess who are the most affected?
Those who are born in the same kandang kerbau as the Ox. The OX rules so those animals who live in the same barn with the cows will suffer most. The most to get bad luck is those who are born in the year of the Ram or the Goat because goats and cows graze together. So, the cow will steal all the goats grass/livelihood. The other smaller animals in the barn like the rooster or pig will not suffer as much because they don’t eat grass, ok?
See, it doesn’t need a fengshui master to tell you some common sense. But seriously, do you really believe in all these? Come on, it is only for twelve months, so don’t be so superstitious lah. Don’t get conned by the evil fengshui masters who sell you expensive amulets to turn your luck around. Just chill lah.
So, can we expect a bull run in the year of the bull? Forget it lah, lots of cow dungs ahead got lah. Master BullShit Lilian too advises everyone to start saving, stop spending and Kong Hei Fatt Choy. Eat more steaks, wagyu, kobe beef, satay lembu, beef rendang, sup torpedo (aka bull’s penis), will you?
BTW, I am born in the year of the dragon and dragons are invincible animals and our only bad luck year is the year of the bitch. I mean the dog. The dog is the celestial enemy of the dragon because the tuhan anjing has the magic bow and arrow to chase the majestic dragon around the globe. (This I learned from Journey to the West, Soon Wu Hong)