So, I was a bit kiasu. I went to check some blogs Alexa rankings with mine. For your info, Alexa is not a girl. It is the most unreliable and yet, some stupid advertisers still insist to use rankings. You can enter your site URL with other people whom you think are on par with you in terms of traffic, and find out who is better. It is one of those things that we bloggers do to boost our ego.

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(this is how my blog looks like in February 2005 when I first ‘move’ in)

Then, not happy enough, I check the pageranks. Pageranks is some sort of measurement given by Google, the search engine to tell people if your blog is best, i.e. 10/10 or your blog is of no significance, ie. 0/10. This blog is 4/10 because Google penislised penalized me before for selling links on my blog. I eventually went down on my knees and lick Google’s boot to get back my pagerank. It used to be 5/10 but lately, Google is a little bit strict and getting 4/10 is good enough for me.

Still not satisfied, I read a bit of the blogs that I am kiasu with. And I realized something. Some bloggers’ style of writing never changed. They write the same old thing, for years and years and years and years (that is 4x). They pick on the same subjects again and again. Whether it is about fat housewives or some Banglas or some Ah Lians. It is like they are magnets for these subjects they abhor. (In my psychology class, I learn that people like these are actually hating their own parents, their own background, their own weaknesses etc etc)

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(this is how my blog looks like in Dec 30th, 2005)

So, by then, I am freaking out. I do not want to live in a cycle like that. I begin to wonder if others also find my blog the same? I don’t need anyone’s assurance, ok? I am just voicing out the nightmares within me.

I do not want to have the same blog template.
I do not want to have the same blog background colour.
I do not want people to come to my blog in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2020, 2080, 2100 (ok, I would be dead long before this) and still get the same shits, different names.

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(this is sometime in July 2007, I think)

Arrggh….you get what I am talking about? I am not asking you to tell me nice things. I am not comparing my blog with the other bloggers. But when I see that some bloggers remain in the same place, year in, year out, I also wonder if I am starting to rot in the same cesspool. You see, we cannot see our own shortcomings and bad points. We need people to tell us. Or Alexa and Google PR to show us. When those dipped drastically, we know we are in deep shits.

So, before 2008 ends, I hope to make some quick evaluation and hope I never subject my poor, valued readers to the same shits, different years.