This is a very long rant, you shouldn’t read everything if you don’t want to go cuckcoo. For my loyal fansees, I will put a title so you can skip whichever part you don’t want to know.

MISSING THAIPUSAM
I have been flitting in and out of the home since 9 + am this morning. This year, I didn’t make it to the Thaipusam procession. Usually, I would be in the midst of the crowd and action. A few times, I had even gone so close to Lord Murugan’s chariot, close enough to touch the bulls pulling the bullock cart. I think I am lucky to get so close, closer than most Hindu devotees.

It is already 10 pm now so it is a bit late to brave the crowd. The cars are parked right up to my area near the Race Course and that’s like several miles from the Waterfall Garden temple! I guess this year Thaipusam will have a much bigger crowd than usual because of the sentiments felt by our Hindu friends due to the current situation in our country.

CHURCH AND THAIPUSAM
This morning, I was very touched with Father FA when he asked us to pray along with our Hindu friends so that God may send the light to us. I feel very blessed to have priests who are in touch with the real world and its real issues. Father FA also asked us to pray with the Perakians.

CRAZY SCHEDULE
I had mass at 10 am, a parents session with Martin Jalleh at 11.30 am, came home for a quick lunch and classes with Father Fab at 3 pm to 5 pm. During Father Fab’s class on theology, I felt myself slouching and slouching and slouching until only my head can be seen above the table level. I can actually feel the sting of the imaginary stares (of ‘good’ people whispering in their hearts, “Look at that woman! Slouching like a sloth! How can she call herself a mother, I wonder!). But I don’t care lah….I am physically tired but my mind absorbs the lesson well.

EMPATHY FOR YOU GUYS WHO HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL
That’s when I realised what a hard time our children have in school. My class has aircond, nice sound system and conducive lights. Though the lessons on basic theology is very heavy, it is not so bad because Father Fab’s is a very intellectual person who throws controversial issues for our reflections. Sigmund Freud, Karl Barth, Karl Marx, Bible verses, dogma, doctrine bla bla bla bla…. So, if after a whole year of course (yes, it lasts a whole year, but only twice a month) and I still don’t learn much, at least I will learn empathy for the youths and children for the shitty times they have to spend in school. At least I know what a bore it is to learn something that we do not feel we need to know at that moment. You get what I mean? Like why do we need to learn dy/dx in Add Maths, why do we need to know what chemical mix with what chemical to produce what smell, why do we need to learn history when Hang Tuah can change skin colour…etc etc.

On to more rants….

SCUM DRIVERS WHO CHASE AMBULANCE
I think vehicles who tail behind screeching ambulance are scums of the earth. We were in the underpass at Jalan Udini. The underpass is very narrow with only one lane. So, hubby slowed down, move to the side to let the ambulance pass. A lot of stupid, morons drivers usually do not give two hoots to screeching ambulance and fire engine and they usually don’t give way…..And this Honda Accord was right behind the ambulance, driving at the same speed. Scums…if the ambulance apply emergency brake, the driver in the car will need a van from the morgue to pick him up.

ZOMBIE-FIED KID
We wanted to go to Butterworth but the jam on the bridge was bad, so we ended up going to dinner somewhere in Bayan Baru. So, there was this boy about 12-13 years. He dropped his wallet. I tapped on his back, asked him if that is his wallet. He picked it up, and did not even acknowledged or give me an appreciative look! He acted like I didn’t exist! Niamah, I should have pretended not to see it. Not that I expect him to say ‘thank you’ but at least give a grin, a nod or something. That’s the reality today, many kids are zombie-fied, a nicer word for no courtesy.

SAYONARA, VOLUNTARY WORK
Next week, I will only go to Mt. Miriam for one last time. Thinking about it during mass is about to break my dam. It is probably the most sombre place on earth, seeing dying people, getting to know people that I managed to know for only a few months/weeks and some days before they passed on……but the last seven months have been most enriching to me. I still haven’t give up my desire to take the Clinical Pastoral Education course to be a full fledge pastoral care worker (please note pastoral care is not the same as social worker) but the cita-cita saya have to go to the back burner for the time being. Hubby is starting work the following week. I am going to miss the routine of the voluntary pastoral care so much. I will miss the quiet chapel on the fifth floor. I will miss Miss C who is the only person I know the longest in Mt. Miriam….(the rest have passed on in the last seven months I was with Mt. Miriam).

BAS SEKOLAH AUNTIE
Starting the following week, I will need to ferry kids from kindie to secondary school to college. I think I will end up a psycho one day. I reminded my kids to buy me a steering wheel and let me play computer games when I have gone cuckoo picking and dropping them when I was sane.

QUE SERA SERA
If things don’t go well, I will either need to buy a third car or get my secondary school sons to take the public bus home after school. But knowing how resilient and what a survivor I am, probably, I will be happily sipping tall black at some swanky coffee joints with my laptop, blogging while waiting for the sons to finish their classes. I shall leave it to God, que sera sera.

PHEW….