“Hello, I am speaking on behalf of Lilian”

Yesterday, I got a phone call from a number not in my list. So, I took the call and couldn’t go beyond ‘Hello’. I took the phone, run to my #3 son and shoved it to his face.

He took it from me and say….”Hello, my mother lost her voice.”

Then, he listened and listened without saying anything, while I was gesturing and flapping my hands, asking him who is it?

He went, ‘ha, ok, ha ok, *quote a name*’

Then, then conversation ends.

“He said is he *name* and you can keep this number and call him when you got your voice back.”

The name was familiar but I still wasn’t sure who it is. After a while, I only realised who was calling. I told him, “Son, come I show you who you were talking to.” Flipped the papers and show him some white hair guy at some event. *sweats*

Later in the night, I got two missed calls. Again, shoved the phone to my #2 this time after I pressed ‘Call’. I wrote on a piece of paper :

Wednesday, 8 pm, Lent room. To organise our tasks for the cooking this Saturday.

So, he asked for the person. And he said, “Hello, I am speaking on behalf of Lilian. She lost her voice.”

I tell you, I think my church friend probably thinks I am nuts to get a baritone voice to phone her late at night.

Haih……if this has been some radio show where the DJ calls up to give away RM50,000 if I just answer with some crummy greetings, the RM50K will fly away.

I walloped a bottle of bitter Liu Ren Tea and a tub of guai leng gou, hoping to get my voice back. Today, it is much better already. Now, I talk like the Penang PKR guy, dunno what’s his name already. Not bad lah, Chinese herbal tea. But it was so bitter can die. Later, I am going to drink asam jawa juice ‘cos the Malays taught me that drinking tamarind juice will help.

Then, before I can publish this post, I got a call I cannot pretend to miss call or find any one to be my receptionist because only my 6 years old was around. So, I went…”Hello….yes Father…”

So, he asked, “How’s your voice?”

*sweats* (you read my post too? Die!)

“squeak, squeak, still no voice lah, squeak, squeak”

“Never mind, you just listen, no need to talk.”

But really lah, I am getting paranoid of phone ringing already.

I CALL YOU, YOU DON’T CALL ME, OK?