But, Mr. CM, we really, really don’t want a tiger park!
Posted on March 26th, 2009 by Lilian • Filed under: Humor
I don’t want a tiger park because :
1) Tigers are darn lazy animals and they are nocturnal animals. That means, they sleep all day long and there is really nothing interesting about a piece of rug lying on the grass.
2) Tigers can pissed really far. The one in Sunway Lagoon had pissed on me before.
3) Tigers don’t mate that often and hence, there is nothing kinky to see as well.
4) Tigers refused to roar when they are well-fed so there is nothing scary about them.
5) Tigers in cages minus the clowns (in circus) to provoke them are just pussy cats roaming about.
So, yeah, we Penangites just don’t care about a tiger park. But Mr. CM, if you really insist to have one, how about :
1) Put tiger show like the one in Pattaya, Haadyai or other Thai resorts? Nay, that tiger show that doesn’t involve tigers? The pussies (and I am not talking about felines) that can ‘eat’ razor blades, open beer bottles, smoke cigarettes? Never seen before leh? How about getting the Penang Excos on a rombongan sambil belajar ke Haayai untuk meneliti tayangan harimau? The Penang taxpayers wouldn’t mind paying for the van charges to ferry them there.
2) Setting down law that corrupted politicians will be fed to the tigers as punishment? Then, we rakyats can enjoy ‘feed the tiger’ session.
3) Rearing and mating and mass produce tigers and then, market Minyak Harimau Jantan and market them worldwide as alternatives to viagra? You can easily find some Chinese herbalist and ask them how to soak tiger penises in Chinese wine. Or you can ask the Langkawi Minyak Gamat to help. I tell you, Mr. CM, Penang sure heboh for being the Viagra of the Orient. Since the state is selling medical tourisms, this fits in nicely.
Yayaya, I know my three suggestions won’t work either. But at least I tried and did not give unconstructive criticisms. At least I didn’t mask my disagreement by tokking kok about saving the environment. At least I have workable ideas instead of tembak buta-buta.