But, Mr. CM, we really, really don’t want a tiger park!

I don’t want a tiger park because :

1) Tigers are darn lazy animals and they are nocturnal animals. That means, they sleep all day long and there is really nothing interesting about a piece of rug lying on the grass.

2) Tigers can pissed really far. The one in Sunway Lagoon had pissed on me before.

3) Tigers don’t mate that often and hence, there is nothing kinky to see as well.

4) Tigers refused to roar when they are well-fed so there is nothing scary about them.

5) Tigers in cages minus the clowns (in circus) to provoke them are just pussy cats roaming about.

So, yeah, we Penangites just don’t care about a tiger park. But Mr. CM, if you really insist to have one, how about :

1) Put tiger show like the one in Pattaya, Haadyai or other Thai resorts? Nay, that tiger show that doesn’t involve tigers? The pussies (and I am not talking about felines) that can ‘eat’ razor blades, open beer bottles, smoke cigarettes? Never seen before leh? How about getting the Penang Excos on a rombongan sambil belajar ke Haayai untuk meneliti tayangan harimau? The Penang taxpayers wouldn’t mind paying for the van charges to ferry them there.

2) Setting down law that corrupted politicians will be fed to the tigers as punishment? Then, we rakyats can enjoy ‘feed the tiger’ session.

3) Rearing and mating and mass produce tigers and then, market Minyak Harimau Jantan and market them worldwide as alternatives to viagra? You can easily find some Chinese herbalist and ask them how to soak tiger penises in Chinese wine. Or you can ask the Langkawi Minyak Gamat to help. I tell you, Mr. CM, Penang sure heboh for being the Viagra of the Orient. Since the state is selling medical tourisms, this fits in nicely.

Yayaya, I know my three suggestions won’t work either. But at least I tried and did not give unconstructive criticisms. At least I didn’t mask my disagreement by tokking kok about saving the environment. At least I have workable ideas instead of tembak buta-buta.

13 thoughts on “But, Mr. CM, we really, really don’t want a tiger park!

  1. Sei lorr! What happens if the tigers roam out of the park and take a little excursion rombongan sambil belajar trip to Air Itam Dam where I sometimes go for my morning walk?

    The Minyak Harimau Jantan cap ‘ROCKET’? WOW!!!

    9pek9bo´s last blog post..Going Loco with the Lingo?

  2. 9pek9bo – I forget to mention, we can make lau hor bak kut teh, lau hor bak moey, lau hor char koay teow and open restaurants selling tiger meat. Commercial farming of tigers for meat!

  3. Time to have harimau food festival!
    Either we feast on the harimau or harimau feast on us.
    Neither feast is good for all.
    Penang CM, what about reviving the dilapidated precious shophouses in Georgetown? Let’s not allow Georgetown to feel like a ghost town…
    More Nagore Lane shophouses will be healthy for occupancy, business and tourism.

    Agnes Tan´s last blog post..My Favourite Museums

  4. Aiyo, why can’t we have a water theme park at Pulau Jerejak like the one in Lost World which also has tigers. Can attract more people and some more we don’t have to travel so far mah…

  5. Hmmmm….

    Pulau Jerejak sounds good to me!
    This is a idea that might work, esp for tourism reasons for the island.

    I however propose that the Gov do something for the anglers out there. Maybe build more facilities for us?

    Do remember that Penang is an Island, and alot of people come (or used to have come) to Penang for sports/leisure fishing. You would be surprise that alot of MM2H people come here for that reason as well! Perfect climate (or so they say compared to their home country.

    I believe that it would be easier to work with something that we already have and to enhance it (because Penang is already so beautiful but sadly deteriorating by the day) so with water all around us, why not work with that first?

    So if something can be done in this area, to spend money on the R&D on this and preserve coral reefs, it would really really be great! Hope there are some people with me on this!

  6. oh ya..i seen it, i seen it…
    the blade thing, that is…haha..i also saw one who could shoot darts at balloons. that will surely bring in the tourist dollars, better than having casino…


  7. “The pussies (and I am not talking about felines) that can ‘eat’ razor blades, open beer bottles, smoke cigarettes? Never seen before leh?”

    And blowing trumpet….tadada…

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