I am so gonna slit my wrists with the butter knife

This morning (Sunday), I have to waste at least 10 minutes to get ready for choir practice.

Yesterday afternoon, I have to waste another 15 minutes to get ready for church.

This afternoon, again, I have to waste another 15 minutes to go to the Canon warehouse sales and dinner. (btw, I got a video camcorder from Canon already)

Just within 24 hours, I have wasted 40 minutes of my life. Over what? Over make-up. The mascara, eye-shadows, foundation, loose powder, compact foundation, SKII smelly yeast water, sun block, lipsticks, lip gloss.

Seven to eight months ago, I also wasted my time over these lorry load of creams, lotions, colours, mask and etc. Somehow, when I was volunteering at the cancer hospital, I took time to dress down and after a few months, I become so comfortable with my brown pants and black t-shirt ‘self imposed’ uniform.

I was about to mulch back to my tomboy state. I love being a tomboy. Cut the hair short-short, wear loose baggy clothings and slip into a selipar. They call it pengkid. I call it liberation.

But……..*insert sad music* last week, someone asked me if I brought my GRANDSON! My GRANDSON! WTF! Adoi, my ego was broken into million pieces. She is single, retired and she knew me for a while already as we were in some projects many times.

Aiyoyoyo….ammah…..you mean to tell me that all the while you thought I am a retiree like you just because I can do whatever you can do? I am a mom with four kids lah. I am super busy with million of things to do. But I am much efficient so that’s why people tend to think I am very free. They thought I am RETIRED. WTF. I retired when I was 35 years old, ok? I am only 44 years old and a few months and a few days old only.

Lucky the building I was in where the conversation took place has only a single storey and the bell tower is not accessible. Otherwise, aiyoyoyo, I gonna jump already.

So, yesterday, with a very bruised ego, I have to be a good girl and brings out my box of make-up, skincare and eyebrow shaper. I need to go get my hair cut. I need to start my mask regime. I need to dig out all my non-pengkid clothes from my wardrobe and start wearing things that show breasts, waist and butt. I hate that. I love being a tomboy. I want to be a tomboy. But sometimes, at a certain age, you realised that you have to fight Mommy Nature or else people think I am a grandma with a very cute grandson and an even cuter gingerbread man.

When is the next confession ah? I must go confess, “Forgive me Father but I have thoughts of killing people because killing self is painful…”

16 thoughts on “I am so gonna slit my wrists with the butter knife

  1. Last time I also kena same thing. I brought my baby to gov.clinic for checkup and the nurses there asked ‘Cucu ah???’

    I know la, most Malay women in their early forties already nenek and there I was at 40 plus still nursing a baby!

    Nevermind, with all your ‘ammunition’, soon they will be asking ‘Your brothers ah??’when they see you with your boys….. envy, envy…

  2. LOL! But that person really… err… insensitive loh.

    Actually I have gone through phases when I wanted to dress up and put on make-up, usually pressure comes from hubby’s kutuk. Then, after a week, got lazy again and ‘be myself’ – no make-up and wear in shorts/t-shirt again. Then after a few months, something chi-kek me again, go and buy cosmetics wanna look good…

    This goes on as a cycle for me. :p

  3. I feel for you Lilian and I totally agreed with what Suzette said about yoyo phases. I am most comfortable when I am in my few hundred washes already T-shirt, short pants and flip flops.

    Luckily for me, my routine is dress up for five days when I go off to work and dress down during the weekends.

  4. Did the ammah actually said GRANDSON or “SOON” in hokkien? If the latter, it could also mean newphew mah……….

  5. but but but..more jialat one is mummies who dress like their daughters until ppl ask, “Your sister ah?”..ok la, u dun care cos u onli got sons.But still, I wan to push those age inappropriate mUrders down the building if they dont jump down themselves.

    Kiki, still in lubang Pjs at 10am.

  6. oh, i kena once too..in a hairdressing saloon.. my hair was being “dyed” and it looked white, i guess..and this lady with 3 small kids said..”yr son is 20s now and u must be a grandmother already…bla bla bla….” i swallowed the shock and replied, yeah yeah.. going to, going to…
    wa..lau ..eh.. just bec i m dyeing my hair, doesnt mean i m grandma, hai mai ah?

    claire┬┤s last blog post..My First Body Massage At Home….

  7. the lady is refering Matthew as ur cucu?????????? Yerrr…smack her head with a newspaper already!!!
    But my new neighbour hor..i asked her that day whether the little girl with her is her cucu, and i was so malu when she told me, the girl is her daughter!! What to do, her cucu is older than the daughter mah!!!

    kaDusMama┬┤s last blog post..Monday..oh monday!!

  8. kiki – That one we call pin-thai. Nowadays got lots of them lah, lucky I got no daughters to compete with so at least no tension.

  9. domino – In English, “Your grandson?” ARRGGH….

    RO – I also yoyo phase where skincare is concerned. Sometimes I go for weeks never bother with moisturisers and stuffs and suddenly one morning woke up and see lines. Then, it is spend spend spend, then get lazy again.

    suzette – So mah fan to be women hor? Old already also must show off to the other women. Young time, must show off to the girls and boys. Haih….

Comments are closed.